HOA Performs First Resident Execution Ever!
A home owner's association in the north - eastern United States performed the nation's first such execution today at 5:38 a. m. Eastern Standard Times. Residents gathered at the community's basketball court with coffee, fast - food breakfast sand…
Read full storyTrump’s Buddies To Investigate Trump Manhattan Prosecutor
In a desperate move to stall the prosecution of Donald Trump for paying hush money to a porn star he had unsafe sex with four months after his third wife gave birth to his third son, Speaker of the House and a buddy of Trump, Kevin McCarthy sent a le…
Read full storyChina To Indict Biden: Three Chinese Hookers Claim To Have Had “Forklift Sex” With Joe In 2013
BILLINGSGATE POST: With the pending indictment and arrest of Donald Trump for paying off frumpy porn actress Stormy Daniels stirring the current news cycle, Shanghai City Attorney, Wun Hung Low, announced that he was preparing to indict Joe Biden fo…
Read full storyPersonal Habits Replace All Other Factors Defining Political Affiliation
A bi-partisan announcement that previously held positions on social, economic, and international issues will no longer be used in determining whether one is a Republican or a Democrat. This announcement follows a never before published essay by Al…
Read full storyPopeye's Is Importing Chickens From Iceland
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The fast food world is stunned as Popeye's, the nation's leading chicken fast food restaurant, imports chickens from Iceland, which is fast becoming the "Chicken Capital of The World." After combing the globe for th…
Read full storyMiley Cyrus To Record a Song With Willie Nelson, Neil Young, Bruce Springsteen, and The Genderfluid Girls
HOLLYWEIRD - (Music Satire) - Music Moments Magazine is reporting that The Twerking Princess Miley Cyrus, is gearing up to record a new song with none other than Ringo Starr! The song is entitled "The Ballad of Twerking Tina," and Miley will be jo…
Read full storyPutin And Trump Are Both Going To Be Arrested And Thrown In Prison Like The Damn Criminals That They Are
MOSCOW - (Satire News) - The Kremlin Voice is reporting that the KGB is in the process of arresting Russian President Vladimir Nikita Putin, just like the FBI is going to be arresting Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump. The KGB plans to charge Putski w…
Read full storyMelania and Stormy Agree: Trump's Bedroom Skills as Real as Tooth Fairy
MANHATTAN - (Satire News) - Melania Trump and Stormy Daniels both agree that on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being high and 1 being low, "Baby Fingers" Trump barely registers a 1, and that he's not exactly a champion in the "wink-wink" department.
Read full storyCountess of Carrot-Tops, Sarah Ferguson, Can't Get Enough of Zippity Doo-Dah Massager!
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The Vox Populi News Agency has just informed their readers that Sarah Ferguson, aka The Duchess of York, has revealed that she and her Zippity Doo-Dah Electric Massager have become inseparable; really inseparable. F…
Read full storyTrump's Arrest Chances Slimmer than Fish Riding a Bicycle, Say New York DA - Gov. DeSantis Becomes Last Hope for Former Kool-Aid Drinkers
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - An insider has revealed that the New York City district attorney's office is saying that the Pied Piper of The Potomac (Trump) has about as much chance of getting arrested as a fish has of riding a bicycle. The rumo…
Read full storyReports Are That Ted "Dracula" Cruz Had Intimate Relations With a Gorgeously Sexy Chinese Spy
SAN FRANCISCO - (Satire News) - The San Francisco Nightly Herald has just revealed some juicy news about Sen. Ted "Dracula" Cruz's latest lover - and boy, is it spicy! According to the Herald's investigative reporter, Bijou Silhouette, Cruz's new…
Read full storyPutin Arrested & Kidnapped In Ukraine, Taken To ICC In The Netherlands
Putin kidnapped and taken to the ICC? No one saw that coming, not even Putin. The little guy was making a triumphant drive through Ukraine, had to stop at a stop sign, and then all hell broke out. He was asked for his driver’s license, told to…
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