Taylor Swift has tried again and again to donate her panties to the Hard Rock Café in Los Angeles, but they keep getting stolen.
Was it a lone thief in a mask with a long moustache that he was spinning around his finger? Or was it an employee, especially Hymie the bus boy with severe acne and perpetual semen stains on his pants? Maybe a customer who didn’t like his blooming onion so he wanted a little payback?
Who knows, but one thing’s for sure, Ms. Swift’s panties are a hot item. If she decided to wear each pair once and then take them off … slowly … and then sell them at auction, she could make a fortune.
Which she probably already has, but still … we fans NEED a piece of your flesh, Taylor! Maybe a pimple, a flake of dry skin, a scab, a cuticle … piss? (are we going there? Working blue? Easy now …)
Sometimes a gal just likes to donate her panties for charity instead of feeding rabid fans … maybe that’s nice too. Charities are good and fans should understand that and leave Taylor the hell alon –
I want those fucking panties! Which way is LA and will she be “donating” more?
