Thinking himself as innocent as a mockingbird, Donald Trump knew he needed a super attorney for his defense, and that a Rudolph Giuliani-type lawyer was not it.
He needed a Spencer Tracy or Gregory Peck type to swing him out of a guilty verdict. However, neither Tracy nor Peck could be retained.
Trump then suggested any other non-lawyer could memorize and use the same closing argument used in the films "Inherit The Wind" or "To Kill A Mockingbird."
"Great, great thinking, boss. But no can do."
"You're fired."
Trump's next guy was more supportive. He argued that if Benjamin Netanyahu could dissolve Israel's judicial system, why wouldn't it be okay to use the closing argument from an outdated film as a closing argument in any of Trump's many fake cases?
"Sure. Do it."
And he was hired immediately and asked to book Kevin Costner to do Gregory Peck's closing argument from "To Kill A Mockingbird." Told that he doubted Mr. Costner would want to be available, he was immediately fired.
The next guy agreed it was a can-do work of art. Hire the team that did the makeup for "The Whale" film, and he would recreate Mr. Costner. "I could even have them run up a Gregory Peck, or Atticus Finch glasses and all."
Trump was leery but desperate. He saw at least one to three years in the joint.
A few days later, a whale-sized Gregory Peck wearing Atticus Finch glasses and a suit with a vest was wheeled into Trump's Mar-A-Lago office.
"You're hired."
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