Trump's Stunningly Sexy Out of Wedlock Daughter Surfaces In California
CALEXICO, California - (Satire News) - Alpha Beta News Agency writer Mimosa Sabrosa, has just broken the story about a pole dancer in Calexico, who alleges that she is the illegitimate daughter of Donald Trump. The extremely attractive, young wom…
Read full storyJust Like One of The Gangs In "West Side Story" Aaron Rodgers Is Going To Become a (New York) Jet
NEW YORK CITY - (Sports Satire) - The soon-not-to-be Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers flew into "The Big Apple" and met with the owner of the New York Jets, Robert Wood "Woody" Johnson IV. Johnson IV, has expressed an interest in signin…
Read full storyMafia Crime Boss Salvatore Goombalini Assures New Yorkers That Unlike Several US Banks, His Bank Is 110% Solid
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Salvatore Goombalini, who is the head of the biggest crime syndicate in the entire nation, has just issued a statement, stating that he wants anyone who has money in his 'family's' bank, to rest assured that unlike oth…
Read full storyPresident Biden Vows To Bomb North Korea If Kim Jong-un Doesn't Stop His Missile-Launching-Over-Japan Shit!
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, has acknowledged that President Biden is fed up with the fat Asian Pillsbury doughboy, Kim Jong-un. POTUS has warned the little tub of fat cells that he had better…
Read full storyRupert Murdoch's Personal Assistant Says He Is Considering Selling Fox News to CNN
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - In breaking news out of "The Big Apple," BuzzFuzz is reporting that multi-billionaire Rupert Murdoch, who owns Fox News, is seriously considering selling Fox News; and the possible buyer is none other than Fox News com…
Read full storyEminem Considers Adopting So He Can Hate Us All Again
Detroit, MI – The King of Rap and Hip Hop has rapped about virtually everything and anything under the sun, including knocking off ex-wife Kim Mathers and painting the forest with blood and battling addiction and rehab. But lately the King seems…
Read full storyJournalists New Nickname for Fox's Tucker Carlson is 'Whopper' Carlson
Tucker Carlson has told so many "whoppers" of lies (with a totally straight face) that journalists now call him that as a nickname. Some of the latest of Tucker's "whoppers": rioters who trashed the nation's capital and beat up police were "sight…
Read full storyTaylor Swift Has Been Swept Off Her Feet By Her 'Hell On Wheels' Boyfriend Anson Mount
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - The word on the streets of Tinsel Town is that pop singer Taylor Swift, who has had more boyfriends than all five of the Kardashian sisters combined, is reportedly deeply in love with her latest BF. Tay-Tay recently tol…
Read full storyGov. DeSantis' Bill Prohibiting Lawsuits Against the Rich Close to Becoming Law
Governor DeSantis is a true Republican: we watch him legally smite the law-abiding transexuals, gays, and women seeking healthcare, whilst making sure corrupt, rich company owners who criminally employ young kids, injure workers on the job, and cheat…
Read full storyApple Inc. To Become Peach Inc.
CUPERTINO, California - (Satire News) - The Wild Whispers News Agency is reporting that Apple Inc, which is the largest multinational technology company in the world, will be changing its name. Patsy P. Middleweather, 62, a spokesperson for the te…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene Claims Mexican Drug Cartels are 'Bombing' Southern Border (Remember the "Jewish Space Lasers"?)
At a recent Republican congressional hearing on border security, Marjorie Taylor Greene (possibly the next Vice President of the U.S.) said Border Patrol agents told her of drug cartel bombs left at the border to injure Americans. The Border Patr…
Read full storyChinese Drone Carrying Bomb Shot Down in Ukraine - No Xmas for Little American Kiddies
China, the bloodiest dictatorship on Earth, is helping Russia bomb Ukraine, putting the United States in a 'pickle'. All our Xmas toys are made in China, most of our military clothing, and many things the military uses are made in China. Twen…
Read full storyThe March Madness Rules & Policy Committee Has Prohibited The Bayou State University Team From Participating in The 68-Team Tournament
ORLANDO, Florida - (Sports Satire) - In a move that has shocked many NCAA basketball fans, the March Madness Rules & Policy Committee has prohibited the Bayou State University team from taking part in the 68-team tournament. Bayou State coach…
Read full storyNHL San Jose Sharks & Anaheim Ducks Lobby League To Join Forces To Become One Half Decent Team
New York, NY – If you’ve watched any professional hockey at all this season, or even just glanced at the standings, you’ll know that two squads really stand out for how badly they suck. Those two teams just happen to be a couple of California clubs…
Read full storyEric and Donald Trump Jr. Want To Have An Intervention With Their Evil Dad, But The Trumpturd Says He's Damn Perfect
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Trump's two oldest sons Eric "Goofy" Trump and Don "Dopey" Trump Jr. are worried that their father could end up simply walking off into the Atlantic Ocean at Mar-a-Lago. According to Don Jr's, semi-loose girlfriend,…
Read full storyThe Reverse Cowgirl Sexual Position Has Become The Most Popular Coital Position In America
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - Bedroom Pillow Talk has just announced that the Federal Center For Sexual Positions (FCSP) has just made it known to the nation that the most popular sexual position for individuals between the ages of 25 to 75 is now…
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