How Did Corona Virus Start? Stupid Congressional Republicans Will Figure it Out
Republicans control the House of Congress, not the Senate, and are gearing up to solve where the Corona Virus came from. They are not Scientists, just your ordinary, delusional Right-Wing UltraConservatives (Trump is God, etc.; there are millions…
Read full storyBeaver Crossing National Bank Closes Door: Elmer Smuckmeister Loses All
BILLINGSGATE POST: Another major bank has just bit the dust, joining Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank of New York. Beaver Crossing National Bank was founded over one hundred years ago by Homer Smuckmeister, Elmer’s great, great grandfathe…
Read full storySmartarse Inventor Outfoxes London Mayor: Designs Car Powered By ULEZ Regulations
Amateur scientist Angela Colvin has found a way around London’s financially crippling ULEZ scheme after designing a car which does not require fuel to run, instead being propelled by the same energy source that is causing the scheme to constantly exp…
Read full storyDallas Cowboys Owner Jerry Jones Releases Running Back Ezekiel Elliott
DALLAS - (Satire News) - Sports Balls Illustrated Daily writer Dottie Bazooka says she recently talked to Cowboys owner Jerry Jones at a Whataburger in Dallas about the future of his star running back Ezekiel Elliott. Dottie noted that the octogen…
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Reveals She Will Be Going Into The Hospital To Have a Vocal Cord Transplant Procedure
LOS ANGELES - (Satire News) - According to information guru Andy Cohen, Miley Cyrus will be entering The St. Tinsel Hospital in Avocado Heights to undergo a vocal cord transplant procedure - swapping her old vocal cords out for two new ones made out…
Read full storyBasil Blathering's Church Ladies 'Think-Tank' See China and Russia Taking over the World
Basil Blathering, editor of the Olde Church News, also runs the group of his 'Current Affairs' Church Ladies. These are very 'sharp' women who have been through the 'Meat Grinder' of life as mothers and workers. Their latest thought piece is…
Read full storyAlexa, How Do I Know I Exist?
Alexa was the first, but now there will be more robots, or AI thingys, to make our lives better and to take away our need to think for ourselves. “Alexa, do unicorns exist?” “No, unicorns are mythical, they do not really exist.” “Alexa, is B…
Read full storyThe Once Great Soccer Player Cristiano Ronaldo Is Depressed and He May Get Traded
RIYADH, Saudi Arabia - (Sports Satire) - The once fantastic footballer Cristiano Ronaldo has become increasingly more frustrated of late due to the fact that he is just not the same Cristiano Ronaldo of yesteryear. Reports are that the former Manc…
Read full story'Democratic' Countries - China, Russia, and Iran Join Together and 'Network' Against America
China, Russia, and Iran are all officially considered democracies and all have elected presidents, just like the European nations. Isn't that great? The three have now joined in a new "democratic bloc" and are currently conducting naval exercises…
Read full storyMcDonalds Is Now Using Drones To Deliver Their Food Items
CHICAGO, Illinois - (Satire News) - The company that is noted for its golden arches has just announced to the fast food eating public that they are now having call in orders delivered using special Mickey D Delivery Drones. The MDDD's, which are w…
Read full storyProdigal Son To Be Investigated Over Claims He Failed To Pay Inheritance Tax
The Department of Taxation has begun an investigation into allegations that The Prodigal Son failed to pay any tax on the large inheritance he received. While exact details are unclear, it has been established that Mr Son immediately left the country…
Read full storyThe Reason Why Arkansas A&M University Has Been Disqualified From Entering The March Madness Tournament
SACRAMENTO, California - (Sports Satire) - Word out of the March Madness Tournament is that Arkansas A&M University has been disqualified from the national tournament. Sportsapalooza reporter Pia Confetti said that four of the Arkansas A&M…
Read full storyMcDonalds Adds McMojitos To Their Drink Menu
CICERO, Illinois - (Satire News) - After many texts, Instagrams, and phone calls to their corporate offices, the largest fast food chain in the world has now added McMojitos to their drink menu. A McMojito is a cocktail drink that consists of whit…
Read full storyMcDonalds To Keep Up With The Changing Times Now Has Rainbow Colored Sesame Seeds On Their Big Mac Buns
CICERO, Illinois - (Satire News) - Mickey D's has always reached out to everyone, and as they say in their TV commercials, our hamburger buns do not differentiate between gays, straights, egnostics, Democrats, Republicans, atheists, or alcoholics.
Read full storyPresident Biden Has Consulted His Attorney General To Find a Way To Deport Trump To Siberia
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Biden told Vox Populi's Tapioca Swizzle that he has instructed his Attorney General Merrick Garland to find a way in which the worthless, no account, oatmeal-for-brains Trump can be sent to Siberia permane…
Read full storySgt. Bilko In Charge Of Silicon Valley Bank Shutdown
BILLINGSGATE POST: Earlier in this column it was announced that Sgt. Bilko was named to replace Janet Yellen as Treasury Secretary. His pledge to account for every penny in our banking system was put to the test yesterday. A widely watched video sho…
Read full story