US Bacon Crisis Leads to Pentagon Red Alert

Written by Zabdgrov667

Wednesday, 29 April 2020

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BACON ... the new gold, and maker of kings.

Waterloo, Iowa - "NO BACON", that was the critical situation report which NSA and top military analysts saw at 5:40am, as they prepared to deliver the White House Daily Brief. For more than half of a century, the Pentagon has been able to tell the President of the United States that they could end any emergency which threatens America by three words from the Oval Office - "Launch All Nukes."

Unfortunately, the US military's most powerful atomic technologies are unable to mitigate damage to the complex supply chain of meat products. When the Coronavirus from Wuhan, China spread across the world, sudden deaths resulting from the pandemic did not cause concern for any "Top Brass" General of any nation, because death is simply part of their business.

Many believed that Oil controlled the destiny of nations, but in the greatest economic crisis of the modern era, oil has literally flooded the markets. The TRUE WEAKNESS of America had been kept secret for one hundred years, but now it's clear that BACON is the power which drives the "Engine of Capitalism." The Federal Government prepared for New York City being destroyed with as many as 2.8 million dead; however, no plans were made for a pandemic which would stop pigs from being shipped to chop-houses and turned into tasty supermarket proteins.

President Donald J. Trump immediately called Tyson Fresh Meats, Smithfield Pork Processing, Sanderson Farms, and Conagra to verify indications that the production of Bacon would shut down as workers with COVID-19 could not package meat products due to health concerns. The White House immediately signed an executive order compelling meat processing plants to stay open during the pandemic as a means to minimize disruptions in the US food supply chain.

Although the Illuminati may have infiltrated all aspects of world finance, it appears that the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) has struck the Achilles Heel of America - BACON. Billionaire Globalists have spent decades seeking economic control through oil, supply chains, and exploiting the third world as slave labor.

Is this the first shot fired in World War 3? ... Will Bacon become an underground currency among survivalists? ... Was COVID-19 the product of genetic engineering by a Google AI gone rogue? We may only know years from now if the Secret Societies and Shadow Governments fail in all of their corrupt schemes for world domination.


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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