A Poem About The Plague

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 17 April 2020

image for A Poem About The Plague
There are no strings on this man's violin

With the world at the mercy of the threat the deadly Coronavirus has thrust upon us, it might settle a few nerves if we all had a nice cup of tea and a sit down, and partook of some gentle poetry.

As readers will, perhaps, know, poetry can be very relaxing, but can also be a bit snooty and exclusive. I usually like a bit of Pam Ayres, meself. None of that 'Lakes Poets' cobblers for me, although, for some, I'm sure it's very nice.

Anyway, here goes:

The Plague

It came to us from China
It seems like yesterday
Right through Asia Minor
And to the USA

They'll eat anything, those Chinks
This time, it was bats
Put on us, a superjinx
With birds and rats and cats

Dining that's exotic
Eating all that moves
But bat in soup is toxic
As Coronavirus proves

It's a very nasty virus
Not easy to get rid
Even Miley Cyrus
And that Justin Bieber kid

And now we are in lockdown
I can't go anywhere
Not here, not there, not to the town
In case I breathe your air

Keep away from me, you twat!
I don't know where you've been
No chills, no cough, no sniffles, but
I suspect you are unclean

First, it was the Black Death
And then the chicken 'flu
Then SARS, then MERS, then Foot and Mouth
I don't know what's next; do you?


If there is a next...


Woods 2020

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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