"This is absolute," said President Trump, as he spoke to astonished journalists on the White House lawn.
Originally, the President had thought coronavirus to be something bad affecting computers. Having established the Administration had no Corona computers, he put the threat attack away. Medical staff tried to explain the real danger involved, but the President was unbending. "My power is absolute," he repeated, until his nurse brought him cookies, a blanket and a silver box for his hairpiece.
Now the coronavirus, allegedly stemming from wet markets in Wuhan, has settled in the White House.
"We don't have Wuhan computers, either!" yelled Donald. "We use Samsung!" But all to no avail. Medical staff again tried to explain the virus was a human problem. Again, no comprehension on the part of the President. "I can beat anything. This is gonna be the greatest virus ever, and I'm gonna make sure it stays that way."
After 20,000 deaths, the penny dropped.
"OK," retracted Trump, "OK, I was misinformed. Fake news as always."
Now, however, scientists have identified Donald, himself, as the epicenter of the spread in the States.
"This virus is a metabolically inert, infectious agent that stops at nothing. It is a poison which has a corrupting influence on morals and the intellect," explained a virologist. Yep, it's found home.
Trump bowed his head in appreciation of his own greatness.
Fortunately, social distancing will be no problem, since no-one wants to get near the guy. Yet it is a sorry picture. Millions voted for this moron, now he's just a viral nerd.