Washington D.C. - The CDC made an announcement today that rocked the world of street-performing mimes and silenced a rumor that has permeated their culture.
"We have inarguable proof," said Fredrick Paulson, 43, a spokesperson for the Center For Disease Control (CDC), "that those who practice the art of pantomime are not safe behind their invisible glass-wall thingy. No matter how cool it looks! You can glassy-wall-thing all you want, it will not protect you, no matter how real the glassy-wall-thing looks."
Paulson says he was compelled to make the announcement after it was brought to his attention that mimes, pretending they were surrounded by an invisible, glass bubble and believing they were protected, were going out in groups to pretend to walk on tightropes with umbrellas. It wasn't until one of their colleagues died quietly in his sleep from the virus, that they begin to realize they were not special.
"It's a fucking fake wall," said Paulson. "You are doing it with your hands in a special way, and it looks real, but it's not real. The glass does not exist in reality! It is in your head! STAY HOME, DUMBASSES! Come to think of it, the same words apply to Jesus extremists! You are not safe behind your invisible Jesus wall!"
Religious extremists protested violently, while the mimes remained silent, most of them escaping the violence on invisible unicycles while fighting the wind.
