A self-isolating senior from Baltimore has discovered that internet porn 'is a thing', after spending the last sixteen days surfing the internet, and scrolling through dozens of online search results.
70-year-old Martha Mullett admitted, Monday, that she has come to deeply regret the years she has wasted not surfing for porn. “I spent all my time online reading recipes, checking out the news, and talking with my grandchildren on Skype. If I had known about Pornhub, xvideos.com, and xhamster, I would not have wasted so much time,” said the visibly crestfallen Granny, adding that the more time she spent browsing porn and viewing erotic bondage scenes, the more she realized what she had been missing.
"There’s a whole world of dicks, cocks, and knobs out there. What have I done? I just wish someone had told me. Thank God for this virus; it has given me a new lease of life.”
