Funny story: Trump And Coronavirus End November 3rd

Trump And Coronavirus End November 3rd

The nightmare of Trump’s dubious presidency and the coronavirus may end in November. Both his presidency and the virus appear to be equally destructive. But as Queen Elizabeth predicted, “Better days will return.” While the Queen was not direct...

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Funny story: The Wile We Wat Wan Across The Woof Of The House

The Wile We Wat Wan Across The Woof Of The House

BILLINGSGATE POST: The Wile We Wat Wan Across The Woof Of The House Wif A Piece Of Waw Wiver In His Mouf.. What was the owner to do? Wolly Wite of Wed Wiver, Wode Island, had a problem with wodents. It seems that the wily we wats were wunning a...

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Funny story: CDC Says Despite Rumors, Mimes Not Safe From Coronavirus Behind Invisible Glass

CDC Says Despite Rumors, Mimes Not Safe From Coronavirus Behind Invisible Glass

Washington D.C. - The CDC made an announcement today that rocked the world of street-performing mimes and silenced a rumor that has permeated their culture. "We have inarguable proof," said Fredrick Paulson, 43, a spokesperson for the Center For D...

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Funny story: Movie Buff Despondent After Finding Out Dwayne Johnson Is 'Mixed'

Movie Buff Despondent After Finding Out Dwayne Johnson Is 'Mixed'

Movie buff and racist, Chris Patterson, 45, of Newark, NJ, was crestfallen, Thursday, after discovering that one of his favorite actors is 'mixed'. “I am so disappointed; it is heartbreaking to discover that an actor whose body of work I really ad...

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Funny story: Local Resident Admits: 2020's New Year's Resolution To Start Saving Leftover Ketchup Packets From Burger Shack Seems A Little Stupid Now

Local Resident Admits: 2020's New Year's Resolution To Start Saving Leftover Ketchup Packets From Burger Shack Seems A Little Stupid Now

Seattle, WA - A local factory worker here admitted to fellow employees that his New Year's resolution to save all the extra ketchup packets left over from his multiple daily trips to Burger Shack seemed "okay, a little stupid, I guess" in light of th...

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Funny story: AG Barr Suggests an End to the Coronavirus Lockdown

AG Barr Suggests an End to the Coronavirus Lockdown

Earlier today, the Attorney General of the United States, aka another one of President Trump's stooges, suggested a repeal of the "draconian" measures being taken to slow the spread of the coronavirus. The AG clearly has little regard for human life,...

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Funny story: Washington Examiner Editor Loses Head Up His Ass

Washington Examiner Editor Loses Head Up His Ass

Washington D.C. - Emergency room doctors and nurses were extremely disturbed by a non-Covid-19 patient who turned out to be a Chief Editor at the Washington Examiner. After publishing recent lies about Joe Biden in an op-ed, the Editor phoned 911 com...

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Funny story: Australia Rejects Trump's Offer of Support

Australia Rejects Trump's Offer of Support

Australia has rejected US President Donald Trump's offer to send help to wombats stricken by the recent bush fires. Following the news of the bush fires, Trump told a press briefing that he had instructed unnamed companies to contact Australia in...

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Funny story: Snickers To Revert To Being Called Marathon

Snickers To Revert To Being Called Marathon

Snickers, the US chocolate bar that, until July 1990, was sold in the UK under the brand name Marathon, is to revert back to its more popular traditional name, because people think Snickers sounds daft. Snickers were introduced in the United State...

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Funny story: Man Disobeys Lockdown Rules, And Creeps Around Neighbourhood After Dark

Man Disobeys Lockdown Rules, And Creeps Around Neighbourhood After Dark

The government's lockdown rules have been put in place for a very good reason - to stop the spread of the Coronavirus - but one man has admitted that, although he knows this, he disobeys, and steals out of his house during the early hours of each and...

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Funny story: Movie Buff Despondent After Finding Out Jake Gyllenhaal Is A Jew

Movie Buff Despondent After Finding Out Jake Gyllenhaal Is A Jew

Movie buff and racist, Chris Patterson, 45, of Newark, NJ, was crestfallen, Thursday, after discovering that one of his favorite actors is Jewish. “I am so disappointed; it is heartbreaking to discover that an actor whose body of work I really adm...

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Funny story: Banks Are Stealing All Your Money

Banks Are Stealing All Your Money

News is emerging from a number of different sources that, under the very noses of millions of investors, banks are stealing the money they are supposed to be safeguarding. The awful and difficult-to-believe news was first aired on a bus going in t...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Becomes Unstoppable After Eating Raw Beet

Nashville Man Becomes Unstoppable After Eating Raw Beet

“I reign supreme!” crowed Ben Lansing of Nashville, Tennessee, reveling in a bout of unstoppability that overcame him after eating a raw beet. “Beet that!" he quipped. Packed with essential nutrients and inorganic nitrates which reduce inflammatio...

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Funny story: Prison Break And Other Jail Dramas To Get Re-runs

Prison Break And Other Jail Dramas To Get Re-runs

To counter the boredom being experienced by people all over the country due to the current Coronavirus lockdown ruling, Channel 4 has decided to broadcast repeats of the successful US prison drama, Prison Break. The five series of the show are 'ex...

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Funny story: Species transition Prince Hops Off

Species transition Prince Hops Off

AN Arabic prince who wanted to transition to being a frog has croaked. Prince Al-Cous-Cous wanted to gain his royal title the traditional way - being kissed by a love-lorn waif with a weird amphibian fetish. And he decided the risks of the thre...

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Funny story: Doctors in Japan Treat a Man Who Accidentally Got His Male Member Stuck in a Bug Zapper

Doctors in Japan Treat a Man Who Accidentally Got His Male Member Stuck in a Bug Zapper

OSAKA, Japan – Osaka police are reporting that a Kawasaki salesman named Yamagamo Matsubashi was treated at Osaka’s Saki-Saki Hospital with a very unusual condition. It appears that Mr. Matsubashi, who has a tremendous drinking problem, was out i...

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Funny story: The New Orleans Police Department Says They Will Be Changing Their 911 Number Because of The Sudden Rash of Calls

The New Orleans Police Department Says They Will Be Changing Their 911 Number Because of The Sudden Rash of Calls

NEW ORLEANS – The New Orleans Police Department has informed the citizenry that, due to the tremendous volume of C-19 calls they have been receiving lately, they will be changing their 911 number. Claude Éclair, a spokesperson for the NOPD, said t...

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Funny story: Husband Seeks to Divorce His Wife Because of Her Addiction To Hostess Twinkies

Husband Seeks to Divorce His Wife Because of Her Addiction To Hostess Twinkies

JOPLIN, Missouri – In what is being touted as one of the strangest divorces in recent memory, Harry Blixenpip has decided to divorce his wife of 17 years, Winnie Blixenpip. Harry revealed that he just got fed up with arguing with his wife about he...

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Funny story: President Trump is Demanding That The NFL Season Start on Time

President Trump is Demanding That The NFL Season Start on Time

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump has talked to the commissioner of the NFL, and has instructed him that the 2020 NFL football season will start on time. Trump told Commissioner Roger Goodell that he does not care if only 43 people show up to eac...

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Funny story: Stuck in self-isolation, man explores strange new sedentary realms

Stuck in self-isolation, man explores strange new sedentary realms

After struggling for weeks to adjust to the new government-mandated stay-at-home routine, Ray Harris can finally report he’s achieved a near-perfect state of blissful inactivity. Accustomed to “hitting the ground running” everyday, Ray initially bri...

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Funny story: 'Scream Out Of Your Window In Frustration' Event To Go Ahead

'Scream Out Of Your Window In Frustration' Event To Go Ahead

A worldwide event that had initially aroused opposition from various governments due to concerns about noise, has been given the all-clear, and will go ahead, as scheduled, on Saturday at 8pm, wherever you are. The 'Scream Out Of Your Window In Fr...

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Funny story: FEMA Buys Five Million Ventilators From Krane Corp.

FEMA Buys Five Million Ventilators From Krane Corp.

The White House, Washington D.C. On orders from an unhinged president who, in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic has been unable to explain the lack of medical ventilators in the national stockpile, the Federal Emergency Management Agency - FEMA -...

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