Man's Friend Thinks China Started Coronavirus To Destroy Western Economies

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 23 April 2020

image for Man's Friend Thinks China Started Coronavirus To Destroy Western Economies
DW is going to need a lot of warheads

The latest on the deadly Coronavirus is that a man who has a Facebook 'friend' he hasn't seen since school, says the 'friend' firmly believes China developed the virus specifically to spread throughout the world in order to destroy western economies, whilst its own flourishes.

Moys Kenwood, 56, received a Messenger text from his 'friend' - who will be referred to here as 'DW' - on Sunday. In it, DW made the claim about the deliberate development of Covid-19, and the reason why. Kenwood asked why he thought this. DW wrote:

"It's obvious, innit? Just look how little Beijing and Shanghai have suffered."

Kenwood considered this for a few microseconds, then asked if DW had any hard-and-fast evidence. DW responded:

"Yeah. China hates the West. Nailed-on."

This wasn't quite enough for Kenwood, and he said so. DW replied:

"They hate our guts! What more do you want?"

Kenwood wanted quite a bit more, but sensed it would be better to avoid sounding too pro-China on the issue. He asked what should be done. DW wrote:

"We should fucking nuke the bastards!"

Kenwoodd tried to change the subject by asking how DW's wife and kids were, but he was typing this at the same time as DW was typing his follow-up message. It said:

"Obliterate the fuckers! Wipe China off the map! Push the big Red Button!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more