Kim Jong Un Transferred to US Walter Reed Hospital in Late Night Rescue Mission

Funny story written by Reggie "Rex" Stain

Tuesday, 21 April 2020

image for Kim Jong Un Transferred to US Walter Reed Hospital in Late Night Rescue Mission

(Bethesda, MD) Under direct orders from President Trump, North Korea’s president, Kim Jong Un, was airlifted out of the country’s capital city in a late-night rescue mission, and flown to the United States, where he was admitted to the Walter Reed Army Medical Center (WRAMC) early this morning.

Intelligence sources have stated, over the past few days, that Kim’s health was likely deteriorating rapidly after a cardiovascular system procedure on April 12. Kim received the procedure because of "excessive smoking, obesity, and overwork," according to a news source located in South Korea.

Trump gave the order to evacuate his friend and fellow tyrant directly to the 731st Air Mobility Squadron out of Osan Air Base, South Korea. Trump stated, “I heard he wasn't doing well, and immediately called and offered him help.” When asked how he could allow Kim in, when, only the day before, Trump announced that the United States was going to be, “...completely sealed off to foreigners” due to the Coronavirus, the President snapped back: “I did not say that, it is fake news, and if I did say that, I meant those brown people from the south, they are not sending us their best, you know.”

Trump went on about why he felt compelled to help Kim, “Remember, he sent me a beautiful note, a love letter. We shook hands at that zone; no other president has ever done that. I cannot turn my back on him now. He may need one of my new ventilators that I stole from a shipment to Minnesota. We have beautiful, tremendous ventilators. Expensive and complicated. Like you wouldn’t believe.” He excitedly rambled on, “You know he won his last six elections by a landslide? And I’m talking landslide. His electoral map was almost as good as mine!”

A nurse that works within the WRAMC said that Kim was being seen by the same team of doctors that attended to President Trump last November on the no-notice emergency visit to, “...start his annual physical exam early”, according to (then) White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham. It is unclear why the same team was assigned to Kim, who suffers from cardiovascular problems, as Trump is lacking that afflicted organ in the first place.

Sources within Kim’s country apparently have no idea that Kim even left. As with the United States, North Korea tightly controls any information surrounding its leader, who is treated like a deity within the country.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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