Roger Stone’s Yorkie Just Got Hosed

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 17 April 2020

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BILLINGSGATE POST: The noose just got tighter for Roger Stone. Judge Amy Jackson Berman denied him a retrial. The only man in the World with a tattoo of Richard Nixon on his back is going to have to wait for President Trump to pardon him.

Judge Berman stated, “That although the jury foreman hated President Trump, she hated former President Richard Nixon even more. Therefore, she (the foreman) couldn’t possibly have held animus against the claimant, Roger Stone.”

The real loser in this comedy is Roger’s Yorkie, the irrepressible Bianca. It was she who saved her master from taking a Tomahawk Missile in the chops during the FBI’s unprecedented attack on his home last year.

Let me be clear. The FBI was prepared to call for a Tomahawk Missile strike on the Stone compound if there was any resistance by Roger Stone’s Yorkie during the mission to apprehend the churlish scofflaw.

FBI spokesperson, Wilma Hedgehog, stated than any collateral damage to the neighborhood would have been “well within the standards of localized devastation set by the Geneva Convention.”

To put this into perspective: Not since Dresden was fire bombed in 1945 has such wanton destruction been contemplated to achieve such a victory. Reasonable people might argue that the collateral damage coefficient of destruction does not merit such a comparison..

But I suggest you explain that to Bianca. When told that she had a potential bullseye on her chest, she replied; “That’s why I get fed Taste Of The Wild and not Purina Dog Chow.”

Slim: “Greater love hath no dog than this.” (John 15:13).

Dirty: Yo, Dude. Makes you wanna cry.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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