There were 494 spoof news stories published in April 2020. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Uber Passenger Upset By Drivers Review
Duncan Whitehead, a 53-year-old author, businessman, and male model from Fort Lauderdale, was shocked and saddened Wednesday after receiving a sub-par rating and review from uber driver Jose Fernandez. The rating out of 5 given to Whitehead was 2, a...
Read full storyBible Stories Explained: The Feeding Of The 5,000
The Bible is an interesting book. Many people have read it, all over the world. But, as well as being interesting and widely-read, it can also be a difficult read, and much of its content often needs much further explanation before one can understand...
Read full storyBored Tesla AI Assaults Driver
(Albuquerque, NM) A Tesla Model S owned by Lalo Salamanca, resident of the sprawling metropolitan area around Albuquerque, New Mexico, is the latest owner of a vehicle from that manufacturer to report extremely unusual behavior that borders on downri...
Read full storyPresident Trump Says Hydroxychloroquine Is That Stuff They Put In Toothpaste
In the relentless battle being fought to discover a cure for the deadly Coronavirus, COVID-19, President Donald Trump has confirmed that Hydroxychloroquine (HCQ) is perfectly safe, as it is already a main constituent of most major brands of toothpast...
Read full storyHealthiest Man In The World Dies Of Coronavirus
The officially healthiest man in the world, Chris. P. Bacon, has died after having tested positive for the coronavirus COVID-19. Chris was admitted to hospital at 11.30 this morning, with three gunshot wounds to the chest, but died shortly after bein...
Read full storyFamily Game Of Monopoly Ends In Murder Suicide
A man shot and killed his wife and three other family members in Florida, before turning the gun on himself, according to a report in the Fort Lauderdale Times. The apparent murder-suicide happened on Sunday afternoon, whilst the family were in fo...
Read full storyMovie Buff Despondent After Finding Out Jake Gyllenhaal Is A Jew
Movie buff and racist, Chris Patterson, 45, of Newark, NJ, was crestfallen, Thursday, after discovering that one of his favorite actors is Jewish. “I am so disappointed; it is heartbreaking to discover that an actor whose body of work I really adm...
Read full storyMan Tried To Get Three Cups Of Tea Out Of The Same Tea Bag - With Disastrous Results!
A man who is quickly exhausting his supply of tea bags due to his increased consumption during the Coronavirus lockdown, has revealed how an attempt at economizing, by re-using the bags a second, or, even, third time, went disastrously wrong at the w...
Read full storyThrough Unflinching Honesty and Vulnerability, Nashville Man Scores Girlfriend’s Permission for Licit Polyamory with Threesome Potential
In a dating tour de force, after being contacted out of the blue by an attractive older woman he’d always had a thing for but had never succeeded in enticing into the sack, 37-year-old Clem Lyons of Nashville, Tennessee, scored the permission of the...
Read full storyWheelie Bin Can Levitate
A couple from Portsmouth have said they have photographic evidence that their neighbours' wheelie bin is possessed by spirits - possibly evil - and is able to levitate above the footpath. Wally and Madge Crapper have seen the grey bin, which is em...
Read full storyTrump to withhold millions of dollars in funding to White House Occupant (WHO).
President Donald Trump announced recently that he is halting funding to the White House Occupant (WHO) while his administration reviews the handling of the coronavirus, accusing the WHO of bungling the response and failing to communicate the disease’...
Read full storyHull Man Thinking of Just Starting Over Again In Grimsby
After this week's freezing weather and rain began to get to him, Hull resident, Scott Galloway, confirmed, on Thursday, that he is seriously considering packing it all up, and moving somewhere different, like Grimsby. “I hate the winters here, th...
Read full storyBoris Johnson admits gargling with formaldehyde
In an astounding double take, Boris Johnson has admitted gargling with formaldehyde in an attempt to keep up with Donald Trump. When asked, outside number 10 this morning, Mr Johnson replied; "It was on sound advice, from Donald, that I give it a...
Read full storyVictor's Railroad to Hell
THE world’s dumbest train driver has got lost for the last time. Victor Wayakeya, who had been found wandering from his train looking at dirt tracks on four previous occasions, left his passengers stranded by a field in Omaha when he lost his bear...
Read full storyThe Kardashians Are Moving To Switzerland To Get Away From The C-19
HOLLYWOOD – The matriarch of the Kardashian family has just informed Left Coast Mirror Magazine that the Kardashian brood is moving to Switzerland. Kris Kardashian-Jenner spoke with Tequila Tallyho of LCMM, and said that it has just become too str...
Read full storyEgyptian Scientists Discover 3 Pyramids on Jupiter
CAIRO, Egypt – A group of celestial scientists at Cairo’s prestigious Sandman University have just made a remarkable discovery. The group leader, Dr. Abudabees Bakmani, informed the Cairo news media that his group has just discovered three pyramid...
Read full storyApple Announces iPhone 12 Will Use Genitalia Recognition
(Cupertino, California) Acknowledging a new world order due to the pandemic where society will never return to normal, Apple announced that the next generation iPhone – the iPhone 12 – will feature genitalia recognition to unlock the screen, rather t...
Read full storyScientists Reluctantly Share New “Earth-Like” Planet Discovery
(Pasadena, California) On what would normally be joyously hailed as “hope that a second Earth lies among the stars,” scientists at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory at the California Institute of Technology today unenthusiastically mentioned the disco...
Read full storyPrince Harry and Meghan Markle Buy An Avocado Farm
CARPINTERIA, California – The happy former royal couple recently sat down with Tittle Tattle Tonight reporter, Pico de Gallo, and talked about their life post-Buckingham Palace. Considering that the country, like most countries, is presently a mes...
Read full storyCarnage at Local IHOP over Last Stack of Pancakes
Police in this sleepy Indiana town were called to quell a violent disturbance at the local IHOP diner this morning. “It was absolute carnage,” reported Sergeant Nick Buckley, who was first on the scene. “In all my years on the force, I’ve never se...
Read full storyTekashi69 COVID-19 Fundraiser Song Released!
(Brooklyn, New York) Rapper, social media influencer, urban poet, and Internet meme groundbreaker Tekashi69 wasted no time after his recent release from a Brooklyn jail (due to the threat of the COVID-19 pandemic) to release a new song meant to raise...
Read full storyCorona Beer May Be Changing Its Name
GUADALAJARA, Mexico – Cerveza Popocatpetl, the company that brews Corona Beer, has just announced that after getting thousands of letters, emails, texts, phone calls, and even three singing telegrams, they are seriously considering changing the name...
Read full storyFlouting Shelter in Place Order, Nashville Man Takes Stand for Constitutional Rights by Leaving House to Check Mail
Refusing to be deprived of his Constitutional right to liberty, to peaceably assemble, and to practice the religion he describes as naturalism, Mitch Walden of Nashville, Tennessee, unabashedly flouted the Tennessee governor’s COVID-19 shelter in pla...
Read full storyIs Coronavirus An Invasion From Outer Space?
The United States is the world leader. Sorry, England and France and Germany. But it’s true. England has the culture, the literature, and the Queen; France has the food, fashion, and les croissants; Germany has machines, sauerbraten, and Angela Merke...
Read full storyPresident Trump's Speeches To Be Accompanied By Canned Laughter In TV News Reports
The use of recorded or 'canned' laughter, often employed to encourage studio audience participation, is to be introduced into television news reports that cover the speeches of US president, Donald Trump, it has been revealed. With so much of the…
Read full storyDog With Two Assholes Rips Biden A New One
BILLINGSGATE POST: Joe Biden invited Pocahontas and Kamala (Breath) Harris to meet with him at Democrat Election Headquarters so that he might interview them, side-by-side, for the job of Vice-President. As usual, he had his adopted rescue dog, Majo...
Read full storyLimericks That Link The Unabomber And Monica Lewinsky Together
BILLINGSGATE POST: As inexplicable as fate is, two totally unrelated people were tied together by their unusual names. Ted Kaczynski gained his notoriety as the Unabomber a number of years ago. As you probably remember, Monica Lewinsky was the intern...
Read full storyAn Undefeated Cuban Boxer Knocks Himself Out
HAVANA – The man who is considered to be one of Cuba's best boxers has just lost his first fight. Francisco "Chico" Dominico, 28, who was a 9 to 1 favorite over Venezuela’s Manny “El Puncho” Mendoza, started off pretty good, landing several devast...
Read full storyDennis Rodman Said He is Smitten With Kim Jong-un’s Little Sister Kim Yo-jong
PYONGYANG, North Korea – Former NBA basketball star, Dennis Rodman, has been friends with North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un since Columbus Day of 2013. Rodman, who stands 6-foot-7-inches tall, clearly towers over Kim, who stands 5-foot-7-inc...
Read full storyMegyn Kelly Challenges Don Lemon to an Arm Wrestling Contest
MANHATTAN – Former anchorwoman, Megyn Kelly, says that she is tired of being cooped up in her multi-million dollar apartment. The former darling of Fox News and NBC told her husband that she is still upset with Don Lemon, and how he disrespected h...
Read full storyChrysler to Introduce the World’s Smallest Car
DETROIT – The Chrysler Motor Corporation has just announced that they will soon be coming out with a brand new automobile. Chrysler spokeswoman Pamela Paloonick, 59, said that the car giant will be introducing the 2021 Chrysler Koala. She stat...
Read full storyBernie Sanders Insists His Endorsement of Joe Biden Almost as Enthusiastic as His 2016 Endorsement of Hillary Clinton
Weeks after suspending his own run for the Democratic presidential nomination, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders issued a statement officially backing presumptive Democratic nominee Joe Biden, stating that his endorsement of Biden was almost as enthusia...
Read full storyWhy Honest Golfers Cheat On Their Wives
BILLINGSGATE POST: One of the most pompous and self-serving bromides of golf''s inner circles: "Harrumph, harrumph! You can tell more about the character of a man by playing a round of golf with him...blah, blah, blah." In a sport so noble in spirit...
Read full storyMan's Friend Thinks China Started Coronavirus To Destroy Western Economies
The latest on the deadly Coronavirus is that a man who has a Facebook 'friend' he hasn't seen since school, says the 'friend' firmly believes China developed the virus specifically to spread throughout the world in order to destroy western economies,…
Read full storyBarack The Great Finally Crowns Biden As His Successor
BILLINGSGATE POST: Not since Pope Leo III crowned Charlemagne as Imperator Augustus on December 25, 800, has a man been so deified by the masses. Barack the Great is in step to follow Charles the Great, who ruled the Holy Roman Empire until he died...
Read full storyDepressed Pigeon Misses Shitting on People
(New York, New York) Cher Ami, an ordinary New York City pigeon named after the famous British homing pigeon, is suffering from extreme depression and downright anger now that the city has entered its sixth week of lockdown. We caught up with Cher on...
Read full storyCondom Sales Are At An All-Time High
CHICAGO – The Coronavirus has really changed the way a lot of people are doing a lot of things. People are having to shelter-in-place, self-isolate, stay home, hide in the closet, and practice safe-distancing. The Condom Council of North Americ...
Read full storyOlympics Postponement Has Messed Up Drug Cheats' Careful Planning
The news, yesterday, that this summer's Olympic Games in Tokyo have been postponed for one year, until July 2021, is a massive body blow to athletes who have thought long and hard about their use of performance-enhancing drugs to get the best out of...
Read full storyNASA Discovers a Brand New Planet
HOUSTON – NASA has just informed the media that planetary scientists have just made an astounding discovery. The team of scientists, who use the code name, 'the Brainiacs', have announced that they have just discovered a planet that they guess is...
Read full storyWuhan Spelled Backwards = Nahuw (No Way, José) Coronavirus Didn’t Start Here
BILLINGSGATE POST: In The Looking Glass War, a spy novel by John le Carré, everything appears backwards. And that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Historically, there were many generals who would consult with their semordnilapicist before undertaking a...
Read full storyMan With Hairy Back, Palms And Feet Does NOT Have Coronavirus After Coughing All Night
Scott Needham, an unemployable layabout from Blackpool, who still lives with his mum, despite being nearly 30 years old, was filled with relief on Thursday, after doctors gave him the all-clear from the coronavirus, after he coughed non-stop for thre...
Read full storyCDC Says Despite Rumors, Mimes Not Safe From Coronavirus Behind Invisible Glass Wall Thingy
Washington D.C. - The CDC made an announcement today that rocked the world of street-performing mimes and silenced a rumor that has permeated their culture. "We have inarguable proof," said Fredrick Paulson, 43, a spokesperson for the Center For D…
Read full storySelf Isolating Grandmother Finally Discovers Porn On The Internet
A self-isolating senior from Baltimore has discovered that internet porn 'is a thing', after spending the last sixteen days surfing the internet, and scrolling through dozens of online search results. 70-year-old Martha Mullett admitted, Monday, t...
Read full storyTrump Assures Americans that They’ll Be Able to Return to Their Crappy Low-Paying Jobs without Health Insurance Soon
With the end of the national COVID-19 lockdown in sight, United States President Donald Trump reassured Americans currently unemployed as a result of coronavirus-related business shutdowns that they will be able to return to their crappy, low-paying...
Read full storyGreta Thunberg: Only A Meteor Can Save Us From Coronavirus
Greta Thunberg has a lot on her plate, these days. As if accelerated climate change and impending environmental disaster through global warming weren't enough for the young Swedish activist, there's now the Coronavirus to contend with - it never rain...
Read full storyPresident Trump Touts “Game-changer Bigger Than Hydrochloroquine" in Battle Against Coronavirus Spread
(Washington, DC) President Trump excitedly took to the podium in today’s White House Coronavirus briefing by proclaiming he had uncovered a miracle breakthrough in the battle to fight the spread of the highly-contagious virus, and was fast-tracking f...
Read full storyFlorida Man Working From Home Clock Watches Wishing For End Of Working Day
David Pines, 65, from Fort Lauderdale, in Florida, sighs in exasperation, and checks the clock above his kitchen table for the tenth time in so many minutes. Wednesday, he had spent a long day working from home due to the imposed lockdown declared...
Read full storyThe Atlanta Falcons Organization is Considering Moving the Team out of Georgia
ATLANTA – In spite of the ongoing Coronavirus pandemic, the state of Georgia has decided to open up for business. But, although stores are opening up, customers are not exactly flocking back. One Atlanta shop owner, who sells crackers, reported...
Read full storyMcDonald’s Adds Sweet Crude to Value Menu
(Chicago, IL) In a surprising move, fast-food giant McDonald’s added “Barrel of Crude Oil” to their world-wide menu offerings yesterday, where it is featured on the Value Menu or Dollar Menu joining all-time favorites the McChicken and the McDouble.
Read full storyThe Spoof Acquired By The ONION In Hostile Takeover
BILLINGSGATE POST: The Wall Street Journal announced today that The ONION, an American satirical digital media company based in Chicago, has acquired its counterpart in Great Britain by going to its shareholders to get the acquisition approved; a ho...
Read full storyTrump Gets A Disinfectent Enema: Doctors Not Sure Turd Will Live
Donald Trump was hospitalized today after apparently experimenting with a Lie-sol disinfectant enema at the White House. Officials became concerned when the President did not show up for the daily Covid-19 briefing. "I saw him watching a story on...
Read full storyThe Gov. Cuomo Action Figure Doll is Flying Off the Shelves
NEW YORK CITY – The toy manufacturing company Toypaloosa is reporting that sales of the new Governor Andrew Cuomo Action Figure Doll are going through the roof. Governor Cuomo has become very popular of late because he conducts his daily C-19 pres...
Read full storyInsect And Animal Populations Already Recovering As A Result Of Lockdown
The Coronavirus may be bringing the end of the world as we, the human race, know it, but it won't be the end of the world for anything else on the planet - in fact, the disappearance of homo sapiens from the landscape is already having a beneficial...
Read full storyTom Brady Says He Will Compensate Buccaneers Receiver Chris Goodwin for Giving Up His #12 Jersey
TAMPA BAY – The sports world had been wondering if the new Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Tom Brady, was going to end up having to get a new number, since #12 was already taken by wide receiver Chris Goodwin. There were rumors floating around Fl...
Read full storyOriginator of Johns Hopkins COVID-19 Dashboard Not Sure Where Data Comes From, But Says It Looks Good Enough
(Baltimore, Maryland) As the Coronavirus continues its spread to every inhabited corner of the planet, everyday citizens’ appetite for the disease’s telemetry has grown exponentially, mainly to enable them to debate their expertise on epidemiology on...
Read full storyA Poem About The Plague
With the world at the mercy of the threat the deadly Coronavirus has thrust upon us, it might settle a few nerves if we all had a nice cup of tea and a sit down, and partook of some gentle poetry. As readers will, perhaps, know, poetry can be very...
Read full storyTrump becomes epicenter of coronavirus
"This is absolute," said President Trump, as he spoke to astonished journalists on the White House lawn. Originally, the President had thought coronavirus to be something bad affecting computers. Having established the Administration had no Corona...
Read full storyBanks Are Stealing All Your Money
News is emerging from a number of different sources that, under the very noses of millions of investors, banks are stealing the money they are supposed to be safeguarding. The awful and difficult-to-believe news was first aired on a bus going in t...
Read full storyFilming on new fall series "The Walking Braindead" begins
(Columbus, OH) In spite of the entire film industry being shut down from California to New York due to the worldwide Coronavirus health crisis, filming began in Ohio for a new fall series tentatively named The Walking Braindead. The series will follo...
Read full storyTime Taking Longer To Happen During Lockdown
The well-worn phrase which implies that time moves faster when we are enjoying ourselves, and that it drags when we are not, has been given scientific credibility at last, after countless people rang the BBC to complain that time was now progressing...
Read full storyDennis Rodman to Visit Kim Jong-un in the Hospital
LOS ANGELES – One of the NBA’s greatest rebounders has informed the news media that he will be traveling to Pyongyang, North Korea, to visit his BFF, Supreme Leader, Kim Jong-un, in the hospital. Rodman, who has more tattoos, piercings, and gold j...
Read full storyFree Agent Nick Folk Says He Wants to Join Ex-Teammates Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski Down in Tampa Bay
FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts – Nick Folk has been an NFL kicker for 12 years, and he is currently a free agent, having been released by the New England Patriots. Folk has expressed a strong desire to join ex-teammates Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski wit...
Read full storyLiverpool Taxi Driver Lets Passengers Know Where All The Black People Live
Liverpudlian cab driver, Barry 'BJ' Cross, a thin man with pearly unnaturally-white teeth, is providing, in his mind, an essential service to visitors to the city made famous by the Beatles, football and stolen television sets and hubcaps. "When I...
Read full storyPaper or Cloth are not Substitutes for Condoms
The Center for Disease Control (“CDC”) has informed Americans that covering one’s face with a mask constructed from cloth, paper towels, or even toilet paper is acceptable, if one is in a position where one’s nose and mouth should be covered and a me...
Read full storyTrump awarded Noble Prize for research into viral disinfectants and invasive light therapy
Scientists in Warsaw, Poland have awarded the 2020 Noble Prize for scientific research to U.S. President Donald J. Trump for advancements in the fields of internal viral disinfectants and invasive light therapy. The Noble Committee made the announce...
Read full storyThousands Volunteer to Visit North Korean Dictator Kim Rather than Stay in Cov-19 Lockdown
According to Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, tens of thousands of Americans suffering from severe cabin fever have volunteered to travel to North Korea for the sole purpose of checking on the medical condition of that country's infamous Dictator, Kim...
Read full storyRight-Wing "Pandemic Preppers" Pledge to Make America Germ-Free Again
Members of the right-wing movement known as the Pandemic Preppers, who have embraced COVID-19 and its trappings not just as a riveting national crisis but as a lifestyle, have tweaked the Trump “MAGA” motto to “Make America germ-free again.” Said...
Read full storyMovie Buff Despondent After Finding Out Dwayne Johnson Is 'Mixed'
Movie buff and racist, Chris Patterson, 45, of Newark, NJ, was crestfallen, Thursday, after discovering that one of his favorite actors is 'mixed'. “I am so disappointed; it is heartbreaking to discover that an actor whose body of work I really ad...
Read full storyLetters to the Editor about Coronavirus
Dear Sir, this crisis has had some good results. One is that we are going back to many of the old ways, with not being able to go out and the supermarket shelves emptied of toilet rolls and suppositories. My husband has gone back to not wiping...
Read full storyNashville Man Questions whether He’s Truly Evolving
Always intent on being on the cutting edge of his species, 42-year-old Trent Buchanan of Nashville, Tennessee, had been certain that he was personally helping advance humanity – only for a call from his mother inquiring about his job status to cause...
Read full storyFamily Has Lost All Track Of Time During Virus Lockdown
A family of four who, like everybody else in Britain, have been enduring the Coronavirus lockdown with mounting frustration and irritation, have now been able to add 'confusion' to that list, after admitting to the fact that they had lost all track...
Read full storyUS Bacon Crisis Leads to Pentagon Red Alert
Waterloo, Iowa - "NO BACON", that was the critical situation report which NSA and top military analysts saw at 5:40am, as they prepared to deliver the White House Daily Brief. For more than half of a century, the Pentagon has been able to tell the Pr...
Read full storyMcDonalds To Honor President Trump With A New Modified Burger
NEW YORK CITY – The McDonalds Corporation has stated that they, like all fast food restaurants, are losing a tremendous amount of business. The New York World Register newspaper is reporting that people are not going out to eat because of the COVI...
Read full storyMultiple Personality Patients Not Coping Well With Social Distancing
The government's social-distancing advice, given to try to limit the spread of any viruses that might be about, are, on the whole, having a positive effect, but there is one section of the population that is finding it nigh-on impossible to keep away...
Read full storyTerminally Ill Patients Resentful They’re Not Dying From Covid-19
(San Louis Obispo, California) The endless media bombardment that has pummeled the public from the Coronavirus pandemic, has overwhelmed the majority of us. Between continual news updates from social media, a cacophony of online broadcasts, and daily...
Read full storyIvanka Trump Reboots Her Clothing Line to do Her Part in Coronavirus War
Like distilleries now making hand sanitizer and the big three automakers converting assembly lines from automobiles to make ventilators, Ivanka Trump has restarted her clothing business to do her part in helping America get through this pandemic (all...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Transferred to US Walter Reed Hospital in Late Night Rescue Mission
(Bethesda, MD) Under direct orders from President Trump, North Korea’s president, Kim Jong Un, was airlifted out of the country’s capital city in a late-night rescue mission, and flown to the United States, where he was admitted to the Walter Reed Ar...
Read full storyCDC Encourages Americans that Lessons They’re Learning from COVID-19 Will Serve Them Well in Next Pandemic, Which Will Likely Be More Like Leprosy
Congratulating Americans on their response to the deadly worldwide COVID-19 pandemic, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention encouraged people that they'll be able to apply the lessons they’re learning from coronavirus in the next pandemic, w...
Read full storyWuhan Now Surrounded By Wall
Wuhan, the Chinese city where it's thought the deadly Coronavirus originated, has been photographed by satellite cameras from space, and is now surrounded by what is thought to be, a tall perimeter wall snaking all the way around the city of 14 milli...
Read full storyHallmark Channel Causes Weight Gain in Women
Lori Laughlin and Steve Guttenberg’s bank accounts aren’t the only thing growing since the Hallmark Channel’s inception. The stories have a certain saccharine formula; always Christmas with blue skies, and a dusting of snow on the ground - and, for s...
Read full storyStock Market. Latest news Headlines
Able Paper and Card fold. Dynamo Elevators coming down. Texas Rifles C.E.O. fired. Blaines Construction cement new deal. Forte Hotels put financial troubles to bed. Strombone Machines on the slide. Carson Fireworks explode onto the market. Gor...
Read full storyGreen Bay Packers Quarterback Aaron Rodgers Says He’s Keeping in Shape by Throwing Passes to Danica Patrick
DEL MAR, California – Aaron Rodgers and his girlfriend, Danica Patrick, have been quietly sheltering in place in their mansion in Del Mar. The Packers quarterback says that, since the two are self-isolating, they go out in the backyard every day,...
Read full storyAmerican Idol’s “Sing-at-Home” Show Was a Tremendous Success
HOLLYWOOD – The producers of American Idol are high-fiving each other, as their idea to have all 20 singers perform in the privacy of their own homes hit it out of the ballpark. The show’s host, Ryan Seacrest, said he was amazed at how smoothly th...
Read full storyThe Queen Is Having Another 'Annus Horribilis' - And It's Only April!
The carefully chosen words of Her Majesty the Queen in her Guildhall message in 1992, about her 'annus horribilis' are often fondly remembered and dragged out at parties, but, even though we are only halfway through April, it looks like this year is...
Read full storyLocal Housewife Comforted That Homeowners’ Association Will Support Her in These "Unprecedented Times"
(Carbondale, Illinois) In these times of uncertainty that surround the Coronavirus pandemic sweeping the globe, many people feel isolated, with few physical and social links to keep them grounded. To help understand this, we called Illinois resident...
Read full storyBirmingham Zoo Gets Creative to Offset Operational Costs
(Birmingham, Alabama) As the Coronavirus continues to keep the country in a virtual lockdown state, many US businesses have had to shutter and weather the storm. For some, it can be a simple closing of a small shop or hair salon, but for others, it i...
Read full storyWebMD Algorithms Prove Unflappable on Company's Covid-19 Self Diagnosis Site
(Elgin, Illinois) Since its founding in 1998, WebMD has been a valuable medical website to educate its visitors on a myriad of health-related topics. From learning about Morgellons Disease to understanding if your body is low on Hyaluronic Acid, WebM...
Read full storyPandemic an opportunity for investors
The world might be in lockdown, but there's big money to be made out there by eagle-eyed capitalists. Funeral company, Grave Situation, of Bury, England have reported a 350% increase in turnover for April, after they offered a two-for-the-price-of...
Read full storyManchester United Captain Harry Maguire Going To Barcelona?
It seems almost too unbelievable to be true - especially at this moment in time, with the whole world at the mercy of a global health scare from the Coronavirus pandemic - but it seems that Manchester United and England defender, Harry Maguire, has s...
Read full storyScientists at NASA Now Admit That the Big Dipper is Really Not as Big as Everyone Thinks It Is
HOUSTON – A group of extremely brilliant scientists at NASA have made an amazing discovery regarding the Big Dipper (aka Ursa Major). After implementing a brand new state-of-the-art extremely-high-powered telescope, that was produced on the Paci...
Read full storySpoof Writer Checks Discussion Boards Every Thirty Minutes
Leading Spoof writer, the illustrious Dr. Billingsgate, holder of several doctorates, and known to have at least thirty-seven patents to his name, reportedly took five minutes to look around thespoof.com message boards commenting on how much the disc...
Read full storySnickers To Revert To Being Called Marathon
Snickers, the US chocolate bar that, until July 1990, was sold in the UK under the brand name Marathon, is to revert back to its more popular traditional name, because people think Snickers sounds daft. Snickers were introduced in the United State...
Read full storyPresident Trump Presented With Panda From Xi Jinping
In a show of genuine heartfelt friendship, and to show that his relationship with the US really matters, the Chinese leader, Xi Jinping, has sent a gift of a giant panda to President Trump. The panda arrived in a crate unloaded from a Chinese junk...
Read full storyNo one is teaching Pythagorus's Theorum
It would appear that while many parents have been homeschooling their children during the Coronovirus lockdown, no-one is teaching Pythagoras' Theorem. So, in order to right this small, but not insignificant, oversight, here it is: In a right-a...
Read full storyGreta Thunberg New Single Out This Week
Greta Thunberg, the Swedish schoolgirl global warming climate change environmental activist, has had an exhausting twelve months, wagging her admonishing index finger at governments worldwide, but she's also been busy in the recording studio, and rel...
Read full storyManchester United Captain Harry Maguire Has Put In Increased Pay Claim
There may not be much football being played at the moment, due to the Coronavirus shutdown, but everyone has to eat, and food costs money, and this seems to be the primary reason why Manchester United and England central defender, Harry Maguire, has...
Read full storyTom Brady and Rob Gronkowski Are Together Again
FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts – One of the NFL’s most successful all-time quarterback/receiver duos is being reunited. Long-time New England Patriots teammates and best friends, Tom Brady and Ron Gronkowski, will once again get to thrill football fan...
Read full storyPresident Trump Says Pandas Are Responsible For Covid-19
President Donald Trump put another spanner in the spokes of already-frail US/China relations this morning, when he blamed the Coronavirus outbreak on the pandas at Beijing Zoo. The zoo has nineteen pandas, and, as a treasured specie, they are kept...
Read full storyPeeping Tom Thrives as Millions Are Ordered to Shelter in Place
As millions throughout the country are ordered to hunker down at home due to the COVID-19 pandemic, one group is benefiting greatly from the widespread shelter-in-place advisories: peeping Toms. "Not to sound creepy, but they're sitting ducks," sa...
Read full storyRoger Stone’s Yorkie Just Got Hosed
BILLINGSGATE POST: The noose just got tighter for Roger Stone. Judge Amy Jackson Berman denied him a retrial. The only man in the World with a tattoo of Richard Nixon on his back is going to have to wait for President Trump to pardon him. Judge B...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Explains Why She Fired Her Vuvuzela Player
MEMPHIS, Tennessee - It’s no secret that Taylor Swift has one of the best bands in the music business. Her band members are all seasoned veterans who have played with everyone from Shakira and Miley Cyrus to Willie Nelson and The Roseanne Barr Bl...
Read full story