Taylor Swift Explains Why She Fired Her Vuvuzela Player

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 18 April 2020

image for Taylor Swift Explains Why She Fired Her Vuvuzela Player
Taylor said she hated to fire Elvira Jane because she is one of the best vuvuzela players in the nation.

MEMPHIS, Tennessee - It’s no secret that Taylor Swift has one of the best bands in the music business.

Her band members are all seasoned veterans who have played with everyone from Shakira and Miley Cyrus to Willie Nelson and The Roseanne Barr Blues Trio.

Swift recently spoke with Buck Yazoo of Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine.

She was asked how her band is doing during the C-19 pandemic.

Taylor said that they are all doing fine, sheltering-in-place and trying to keep busy by playing Scrabble, Pictionary, and Spin-the-Bottle.

She laughed as she said that some of her band members are using the Spin-the-Bottle game to catch up on their drinking.

Tay-Tay sadly pointed out that she had to let her long-time vuvuzela player, Elvira Jane Muckenfuss, go after finding out that she had revealed things of a personal nature to one of the supermarket tabloids, The Global World.

Yazoo asked what she had revealed, and she said that she told The Global World that she sleeps in the nude.

Taylor said that, in 30 years, she has only slept in the nude three times.

She pointed out that all three times were because of the fact that the electricity had gone out and she was as hot as a gurgling volcano ready to erupt.

Miss Muckenfuss will most likely end up playing for a band that has used a vuvuzela player in the past like Patty Cake & The Bakers or The Country Cowpokes of Corpus Christi.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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