There have been 188 spoof news stories published in July 2019. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Furious 5th place Hamilton blames other drivers for finishing ahead of him

Furious 5th place Hamilton blames other drivers for finishing ahead of him

Formula 1 world champion, Lewis Hamilton, last night launched a bitter attack on the four drivers who pushed him back into a disappointing 5th place finish in yesterday's thrilling Austrian Grand Prix, which was eventually won by Red Bull's Max Verst...

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Funny story: Alex Ferguson’s trip to Wimbledon “ruined” by people from Liverpool

Alex Ferguson’s trip to Wimbledon “ruined” by people from Liverpool

Wimbledon. Former Man United dictator Alex Ferguson was sensationally escorted out of the Wimbledon Men's Final today after trying to start a fist fight with a 90-year-old woman from Liverpool. It is believed that Ferguson became irate when his enjoy...

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Funny story: Russian Girl, 12, Sent To Siberian Camp For Taking Selfie With Vladimir Putin

Russian Girl, 12, Sent To Siberian Camp For Taking Selfie With Vladimir Putin

A 12-year-old Russian girl who tried to take a selfie with President Vladimir Putin, has been sent to a Siberian work camp for eight years. Vera Ivanovska took the photograph as Mr Putin arrived at the G20 Summit in Osaka on Friday. The president'...

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Funny story: North Korea To Impose Sanctions On US

North Korea To Impose Sanctions On US

In what's already being called a tit-for-tat struggle, the North Korean leader, Kim Jong-un has said that, if Washington does not relax its sanctions against Pyongyang, then North Korea will be forced to impose its own sanctions against the United St...

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Funny story: Trump's Fourth Of July Celebrations To Be "Astronomically Expensive"

Trump's Fourth Of July Celebrations To Be "Astronomically Expensive"

The annual fourth of July celebrations, commemorating the Declaration of Independence of the United States on July 4, 1776, have always been celebrated on its anniversary, and this year will be no different. One major difference this year, howeve...

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Funny story: Labour Party denies that Jeremy Corbyn is losing his, err, memory

Labour Party denies that Jeremy Corbyn is losing his, err, memory

The Labour Party has reacted angrily to suggestions from Whitehall mandarins that Jeremy Corbyn, the leader of the British Labour Party, is losing his memory. The secret memo from two of the country’s top civil servants, allegedly refers to the fo...

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Funny story: New York Woman Offended When Janitor Misinterprets Friendly Small Talk as Their Actually Being on Same Level

New York Woman Offended When Janitor Misinterprets Friendly Small Talk as Their Actually Being on Same Level

Lynn Belcourt, an attorney in New York City who, despite her privileged upbringing, prides herself on being egalitarian in all her affairs, was mildly offended when janitor Jose Gonzalez seemed to misconstrue her friendly, anti-classist small talk as...

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Funny story: Kate Middleton Thinks Roger Federer Is A Bit Dishy

Kate Middleton Thinks Roger Federer Is A Bit Dishy

The Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, has told close friends that she thinks tennis superstar and tomorrow's Wimbledon Men's Singles finalist, Roger Federer, is "a bit dishy". The Duchess will attend the Centre Court spectacular with her siste...

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Funny story: Andrew Yang Calls Pocahontas An Albino Native American

Andrew Yang Calls Pocahontas An Albino Native American

BILLINGSGATE POST: The first question Rachel Maddow asked when it was her turn to question the Democrat candidates was: “Which one of you is Pocahontas and which of you is Yang?” Yang, obviously an inscrutable Oriental; Pocahontas, on the other...

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Funny story: Greek Mythology Debunked

Greek Mythology Debunked

Age-old Greek creation mythology regarding the universe's journey from the primeval void of Chaos to a virtual pantheon of all-powerful deities has been definitively debunked, according to the latest scientific reports. "It's disappointing," said...

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Funny story: Chivalry in Stable Condition and Doing Well

Chivalry in Stable Condition and Doing Well

Contrary to reports that he was dead, verified sources have comfirmed that chivalry is in stable condition and doing well. "It wasn't looking good there for a minute," said Dr. Chase Lancet of New England Medical Center, as he held open the door f...

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Funny story: Metro Council votes to replace scooters with unicycles

Metro Council votes to replace scooters with unicycles

On July 1st, the Nashville Metro Council confirmed the vote to remove all brands of electronic scooters, a decision that will go into effect July 5th. While local residents have been quick to voice their support for scooter removal, the Mayor's offic...

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Funny story: Kylie Minogue Furious At Sir David Attenborough

Kylie Minogue Furious At Sir David Attenborough

There was real Australian soap-style drama at Glastonbury on Sunday, when Aussie pop princess Kylie Minogue became enraged before her performance had actually started, by Sir David Attenborough, who came onstage immediately before her. Minogue, wh...

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Funny story: I'll stop bodies falling from aircraft over Britain with my big face says Olly Murs

I'll stop bodies falling from aircraft over Britain with my big face says Olly Murs

Following yesterday's tragic incident when a stowaway on a Kenya Airlines aircraft fell into the back garden of a sunbather in Clapham, South London, pop icon, Olly Murs, has offered to use his huge face to prevent his fellow Brits from being killed...

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Funny story: Trump's 4th Of July Parade

Trump's 4th Of July Parade

Trump is having his military 4th of July parade! Bone spurs vanished! Couldn’t the $5million be spent to buy diapers for babies held prisoners at the border by the Health and Human Services Department under the direction of parade-hungry Donald T...

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Funny story: Boris Calls For Return of Public Hanging

Boris Calls For Return of Public Hanging

In what is being seen as a bid to upstage his fellow prime ministerial hopeful, Jeremy Hunt, Boris Johnson yesterday told a local Conservative Party Association that one of the first things he would do as PM would be to reintroduce public hanging.

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Funny story: Meghan And Harry's Baby, Archie, Says He Won't Attend Christening Service

Meghan And Harry's Baby, Archie, Says He Won't Attend Christening Service

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Prince Harry and his wife Meghan, have a problem: their son Archie has said he refuses to be christened with the name 'Archie', and will not attend his own christening later today. The royal couple had planned to ha...

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Funny story: Ayatollah’s Rice Pudding Recipe ‘May Contain Nuts’

Ayatollah’s Rice Pudding Recipe ‘May Contain Nuts’

Tehran, Iran - (Pisstarchios): Iran’s President Rouhani is in the doghouse after an outbreak of allergic convulsions at a recent state dinner was traced to ‘something truly horrid ‘ in the dessert course. Guests complained that Sholezard, a tradit...

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Funny story: Plenty Of Trump Haters Now Think James Comey Sucks

Plenty Of Trump Haters Now Think James Comey Sucks

Washington AC/DC - Despite the millions of valid reasons to loathe Donald Trump, his firing of FBI chief James Comey was actually a pretty fine slam dunk. That’s the upshot of a recent opinion survey that’s rated slippery-slimy Comey as a mendacio...

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Funny story: US ratchets up defense against Iran with advertising campaigns into the disputed area

US ratchets up defense against Iran with advertising campaigns into the disputed area

Anonymous sources at the State Department indicate a new campaign is underway to encourage resolution of conflicts—via advertising and subtle messages. The targets start with Iran, with extension of the new scheme to Venezuela and North Korea bei...

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Funny story: Nashville Woman Takes a Licking from Relentless Black Cat

Nashville Woman Takes a Licking from Relentless Black Cat

Melanie Meadows of Nashville, Tennessee, recently took a licking from a relentless black cat named Sammy. "He was unstoppable," said Meadows of the panther-like feline who slunk up unnoticed as she stepped out of the shower early one morning. "And...

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Funny story: Mr. Miyagi from "Karate Kid" film is appointed new Brexit adviser

Mr. Miyagi from "Karate Kid" film is appointed new Brexit adviser

In a radical move today, the UK Government announced the appointment of Mr. Miyagi, the quiet and eccentric apartment handyman from the "Karate Kid" film as special adviser on the UK's departure from the EU. Mr. Miyagi will be introducing his theo...

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Funny story: Trump's Independence Day Parade Plot

Trump's Independence Day Parade Plot

Washington, D. C. Exclusive to The Spoof. If you thought that there must be more to President Donald Trump's insistence on a military roll-out on the nation's Mall today, you were right. Through a fluke in electronic transmission, The Spoof has le...

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Funny story: All Bill Cosby's Fellow Prisoners Have Escaped

All Bill Cosby's Fellow Prisoners Have Escaped

Prison officials at the facility where former comedian Bill Cosby is currently incarcerated say there has been a mass breakout, and that the only person now left 'in custody', is the man who used to play Dr. Huxtable. Guards coming on duty this mo...

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Funny story: Gibraltar to be rebuilt on Olly Murs' big face in the event of a disorderly Brexit say Foreign Office

Gibraltar to be rebuilt on Olly Murs' big face in the event of a disorderly Brexit say Foreign Office

The island of Gibraltar will be abandoned to the Spanish and rebuilt on the big face of British pop icon, Olly Murs, in the event of a no-deal Brexit, it has been revealed. A Foreign Ofice spokesman told newsmen last night: "If we leave the EU wit...

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Funny story: Hitler, Stalin Meet on Russian Side of Border

Hitler, Stalin Meet on Russian Side of Border

Just inside the Russian Border. Oct. 7, 1939. Exclusive to The Spoof. With the Polish incident over and all Polish resistance at an end, Adolf Hitler today stepped over the line separating German-held Poland from Russian-annexed Poland, and shook the...

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Funny story: Blue Bell Ice Cream Licker Caught!

Blue Bell Ice Cream Licker Caught!

Americans can scoop their ice cream without fear tonight after news that the Blue Bell Licker has been apprehended. Not since Son of Sam paralyzed New York City in the 1970s has a nation been so gripped with terror. The Licker, as authorities ha...

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Funny story: Damien Hirst Makes Strange Stipulation In His Will

Damien Hirst Makes Strange Stipulation In His Will

Rumours are rife in the world of art, that Damien Hirst, the artist who is repeatedly lampooned for being a non-artist, and for copying the work of others, has made a strange stipulation within his last will and testament, which will see him respectf...

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Funny story: Trump Gaffe Was Only Heard Because Somebody Was Listening

Trump Gaffe Was Only Heard Because Somebody Was Listening

It's been revealed this morning, that President Donald Trump's glaring error in his Fourth of July speech, when he mentioned there being 18th-century airports, was only noticed because of the unusual circumstance of somebody actually listening to wha...

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Funny story: Phil Neville Philosophical About England Defeat

Phil Neville Philosophical About England Defeat

England Women's football team coach, Phil Neville, was philosophical in defeat last night, as his charges went out of the World Cup in Paris with a 2-1 reverse at the hands of holders and favorites, the USA. Neville told reporters: "It's back to t...

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Funny story: Prince Harry Says He'll Have Nanny Smack Archie's Bottom If He Does It Again

Prince Harry Says He'll Have Nanny Smack Archie's Bottom If He Does It Again

There was a right, royal rumpus in the Royal roost this morning when Archie Windsor, newly-christened son of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, started playing up fuck at breakfast, causing his mum and dad to get into a right strop with him. Archie,...

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Funny story: Deal of the Century kicks off at the World Bridge Championships in Yemen.

Deal of the Century kicks off at the World Bridge Championships in Yemen.

The 44th World Bridge Team Championships will be held at the Wuhan International Convention Centre at Wuhan, China, from Saturday 14th to Saturday 28th September 2019. However, in a clear case of hijacking a Chinese event, US president Donald Tru...

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Funny story: US player Alex Morgan “wasn’t pretending to drink tea but offering to give British men a blow-job” according to close-up footage

US player Alex Morgan “wasn’t pretending to drink tea but offering to give British men a blow-job” according to close-up footage

America’s 2-1 win over England on Tuesday may have been a blow to British men and women, but there’s a silver lining in the cloud. Football experts who watched Alex Morgan’s strange hand gesture after the game have confirmed that she wasn’t “pretendi...

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Funny story: England Women's Football Hooligans Go On The Rampage

England Women's Football Hooligans Go On The Rampage

Football hooliganism, a thing that was thought by the authorities to have been battered into the past, reared its ugly head again in France last night, as hundreds of female England 'thugesses' went on the rampage through the streets of Paris, causin...

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Funny story: A-1 sex robots evolution and spirit extraction as answer to climate change

A-1 sex robots evolution and spirit extraction as answer to climate change

The latest news with these A1 sex robots leads away from and beyond sex—beyond even recent developments in genital-sensing, interior wifi, and talk-amount control button. Do all sex robots have to be sexy? Longer and RoboBanger Associates say n...

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Funny story: Fourth Of July Celebrations Labeled "Shit" By Man

Fourth Of July Celebrations Labeled "Shit" By Man

As the crowds left a rain-soaked Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC last night, having witnessed a 'no expenses spared' military showcase extravaganza to rival anything seen before, one man was already berating the tremendous waste of money expended o...

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Funny story: Boris Johnson nearly landed major role in 'The Lion King'

Boris Johnson nearly landed major role in 'The Lion King'

Barmy Boris Johnson auditioned to be in the Lion King. Sources close to the British MP claim Boris loves the film so much, he auditioned to be one of the main characters in Disney's live-action remake of the Lion King. Initially, Boris auditioned...

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Funny story: Landmark Wisconsin Court Decision Disappointingly About an Actual Landmark

Landmark Wisconsin Court Decision Disappointingly About an Actual Landmark

Residents of Greyfall, Wisconsin, were excited to hear about a landmark court decision issued by their local district court, only to learn disappointingly that the "landmark" decision merely designated a new town landmark - specifically, a monument h...

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Funny story: Man Wants To Know If Saying Nice Things About LGBT+ Will Help Him Get Ahead

Man Wants To Know If Saying Nice Things About LGBT+ Will Help Him Get Ahead

A man who instinctively feels that there is something 'not quite right' about the LGBT+ movement and its members, wants to know if it would benefit him in any way, should he show some 'fake support' for the movement. The man, who, to protect his a...

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Funny story: Campus Security Officers Run Away From Massive Brawl Between Two Education Professors

Campus Security Officers Run Away From Massive Brawl Between Two Education Professors

Iowa. Campus security officers ran away in sheer terror from a massive brawl between two education professors at St. Luke's College in Winneshiek County on Thursday, June 27th, for the simple reason that they didn't have enough training to properly...

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Funny story: Trump Reads Food Menu, Blames Teleprompter

Trump Reads Food Menu, Blames Teleprompter

On the 4th of July event, Donald Trump read a food menu instead of a speech about the American Revolution. He blamed the error on the rain and the teleprompter. True, it was raining, and the teleprompter may have shorted out, his bone spurs could hav...

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Funny story: Cat Put Amongst Pigeons

Cat Put Amongst Pigeons

Animal Rights campaigners were 'up in arms' in Cumbria yesterday afternoon, after they were made aware of the plight of a neighbourhood cat that had been put amongst some pigeons. According to the activists, the Carlisle cat was an unwilling parti...

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Funny story: Erectile Dysfunction Man Cured By Sexy Wench With Big Oomlaaters

Erectile Dysfunction Man Cured By Sexy Wench With Big Oomlaaters

Medical personnel at one of Berlin's top research institutes have admitted they were "speechless" after a patient who had suffered erectile dysfunction for more than 14 years, was suddenly 'cured' when he set eyes upon a supersexy barmaid with whoppi...

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Funny story: Colin Kaepernyuk Dyes Hair Red, White And Blue To Protest Flag: Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!

Colin Kaepernyuk Dyes Hair Red, White And Blue To Protest Flag: Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!

BILLINGSGATE POST: Colin Kaepernyuk dyed his hair red, white and blue to protest the American flag. Kaepernyuk, who gained fame by letting his hair grow so that he would look like Curly of the Three Stooges, intervened with Nike, requesting they pu...

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Funny story: CBP staff with internal review and solid proof AOC is full of baloney

CBP staff with internal review and solid proof AOC is full of baloney

The problem at the border includes hordes of women and children, with parents separated from their kids, and kept in “concentration camps.” Into this hurly-burly came Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC), interviewing the inmates. She reported they had...

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Funny story: Dictionary Opened On Very Rude Word

Dictionary Opened On Very Rude Word

A man who picked up an English dictionary from a table, and randomly opened it, noticed a swear word at the top of the page that clean took his breath away. The unsavory incident happened at a school during break time, when the man saw the book "j...

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Funny story: Adolf Hitler Group To Sue Accusers For Defamation

Adolf Hitler Group To Sue Accusers For Defamation

A group of Adolf Hitler enthusiasts, angry at the outrageous way the former German Chancellor is always portrayed as some mad, despotic leader with a lunatic streak, have decided to sue anyone who has said anything negative about der Führer for 'defa...

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Funny story: Meghan under fire over Jeremy Corbyn chest tattoo

Meghan under fire over Jeremy Corbyn chest tattoo

There was widespread concern in royal circles last night after the Duchess of Sussex told The Mail On Sunday that she'd had a likeness of leftie Labour Party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, tattooed on her chest. In yesterday's edition, she revealed: "I've...

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Funny story: Trump Declares War On Mexico After USA Gold Cup Loss

Trump Declares War On Mexico After USA Gold Cup Loss

President Donald Trump has said that as a result of the 2019 Gold Cup final defeat the United States suffered at the hands of Mexico, the two countries are now in a state of war. The US women's team became World Cup champions by beating the Nether...

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Funny story: Man Says He Would Do The Same Thing Again, If It Were Necessary

Man Says He Would Do The Same Thing Again, If It Were Necessary

A man who took extraordinary steps to resolve a particularly difficult situation, says he would do exactly the same thing again if necessary. As tricky situations go, the one faced by Englishman, Moys Kenwood, couldn't have been much trickier. It...

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Funny story: Man with broom in supermarket trolley kills nine

Man with broom in supermarket trolley kills nine

A man from Shadwell in East London was held by police outside a local branch of Lidl yesterday afternoon after the new broom that he'd placed in his trolley killed nine of his fellow shoppers. Toby Dell, 43, from Cable Street, wreaked havoc in the...

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Funny story: Student's Favorite Color Was 'Slime Green'

Student's Favorite Color Was 'Slime Green'

A 16-year-old ladyboy student in a school in Bangkok, caused chaos in an English lesson when he answered a question about color preference by declaring that he liked white, but that his favorite color was 'slime green'. His classmates exploded wit...

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Funny story: Trump Defends Fourth of July Speech

Trump Defends Fourth of July Speech

This July Fourth was the occasion for President Donald Trump's much-ballyhooed Independence Day celebration in Washington, D.C. Trump's patriotic speech drew derision from certain quarters for its, er, unique approach to history. Unfortunat...

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Funny story: ITVBe Announces Improved Intellectual Content With Updated "Real Housewives" Franchise

ITVBe Announces Improved Intellectual Content With Updated "Real Housewives" Franchise

In a bid to improve its falling ratings, ITV's flagship channel ITVBe, the "reality" based station for those with nothing better to do, like watching paint dry or doing the ironing, has announced that it is adding to the controversial and intellectua...

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Funny story: Tear Down That Wall: Mexico To Dig Super Canal From Brownsville To San Diego

Tear Down That Wall: Mexico To Dig Super Canal From Brownsville To San Diego

BILLINGSGATE POST: Mexican President Lopez Obrador announced today that Mexico will not build a wall separating Mexico and the United States. Long a misfire between President Trump and Mexico, recent developments in the trade arrangements between t...

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Funny story: Brexit Latest: Britain Stocks Up on Gruel

Brexit Latest: Britain Stocks Up on Gruel

According to reports, Britain's supermarkets are stockpiling supplies of gruel in anticipation of a spike in demand for the thin, watery, flour-based product, if, as expected, Britain leaves the European Union on October 31. Many experts predict t...

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Funny story: God Ignores Prayer From Lonely Drunken Resident For Special Woman To Show Up In His Life

God Ignores Prayer From Lonely Drunken Resident For Special Woman To Show Up In His Life

The Almighty Creator of the Heavens, the Earth, Outer-Space, and everything that is 'seen and unseen' in the complicated fabric that holds the physical and spiritual realms of the Universe together in unfathomable ways, ignored a prayer he received f...

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Funny story: Gallows Humor: I've Got a Mellow Noma

Gallows Humor: I've Got a Mellow Noma

As regular readers of The Spoof are aware, I celebrated my 89th birthday last week. But what you don't know is that the highlight of that day was my trip to a Kaiser dermatologist for my regular three-month checkup for skin cancer, which has plagued...

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Funny story: Tour De France Start Delayed After Rider Rips His Knackers On Seat

Tour De France Start Delayed After Rider Rips His Knackers On Seat

The first stage of the Tour de France was delayed in Brussels yesterday, after one of the riders injured his testicles on the narrow strip of leather that passes for the saddle on his bike. Thierry Ballax, who rides for the Painful-Castrata team,...

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Funny story: 2020 Democrat Hopefuls Release Campaign Slogans

2020 Democrat Hopefuls Release Campaign Slogans

There can be no disputing that "Make America Great Again" served its purpose well for President Trump. He wasn't the first to use it, but he has a knack of having a finger on the pulse of the country, recycled the phrase - and it helped, it seems.

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Funny story: Jeffrey Epstein Invites Women’s Soccer Team To His Mansion

Jeffrey Epstein Invites Women’s Soccer Team To His Mansion

BILLINGSGATE POST: After turning down offers to visit the White House and the International House of Pancakes, the U.S. Women’s Soccer Team accepted an offer from Jeffrey Epstein to visit his mansion in New York City. A ticker-tape parade through...

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Funny story: 'Stand-offish' Meghan refuses to allow newsmen to listen while she goes to the bathroom

'Stand-offish' Meghan refuses to allow newsmen to listen while she goes to the bathroom

The Duchess of Sussex attracted more press criticism yesterday after she requested privacy when she goes to the toilet. Under-fire, Meghan, was slammed by journalists who were refused permission to listen at the door while she went to the bathroom...

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Funny story: How Writing Sounds if Your "E" Won't Print

How Writing Sounds if Your "E" Won't Print

Hi, D: I usually start with your full you-know-what or your funny alias, but I can't today, as a symbol in our ABCs following "d" and prior to "f" won't print on my laptop, so I'm avoiding any word with that symbol in it. And you must know that i...

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Funny story: Man Admits Defeat In 'Ambulance Game'

Man Admits Defeat In 'Ambulance Game'

A man who, for the past 17 years, has struggled to finish a children's educational game called 'The Ambulance Gridlock Game', has finally decided to 'call it a day', and admit defeat. The game, played on a plastic 6x6 grid, where 'vehicles' can be...

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Funny story: Independence Day And What It Means For The Rest Of The World

Independence Day And What It Means For The Rest Of The World

'Independence Day', the 1996 movie about aliens from a distant galaxy who attempt to attack planet Earth, and both destroy and annihilate the world's population to death during the 4th of July celebrations, is to be shown on TV screens across the Uni...

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Funny story: Illusion Backfires As Magician Vanishes

Illusion Backfires As Magician Vanishes

Where's Waldo? Professional magician and illusionist, Waldo the Wonderful, is missing and the FBI is even involved. While conducting a performance at a Willow Creek theatre, Waldo was attempting to make his assistant, Kelli Kinetic disappear, but...

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Funny story: Serious Man Acknowledges Ridiculous Nature of Life

Serious Man Acknowledges Ridiculous Nature of Life

After decades of rarely even cracking a smile, serious-minded Brett Carwyle of New York City, someone never known for his sense of humor, finally came to acknowledge the ridiculous nature of life. “It’s a shit-show,” said Carwyle, grinning and sha...

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Funny story: The Man Who Speaks In Seven-word Sentences

The Man Who Speaks In Seven-word Sentences

TheSpoof.com has received information pertaining to the strange antics and behavior of an individual who, in normal, everyday conversation, speaks only in sentences containing seven words - no more, no less. The man, Bernard Septimus, born on 7 Ju...

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Funny story: Trump Orders Death to Robocallers

Trump Orders Death to Robocallers

The White House. Donald Trump, answering an unwanted call that allegedly came from NBC, announced that his "Big Idea" for the 2020 campaign would be an abrupt and, in some cases, brutal end to unsolicited robocalls and other telemarketing intrusions.

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Funny story: Extending Weiner Family Serves Proof That University Was Successful At Promoting Safe Choices And Responsibility By Handing Out Free Contraceptives

Extending Weiner Family Serves Proof That University Was Successful At Promoting Safe Choices And Responsibility By Handing Out Free Contraceptives

Central Iowa. When Todd Weiner, son of Brad and Martha Weiner, received a free condom during his 'new student' orientation session at Cockland University in the Fall of 2017, he felt confused, at first. Coming from a conservative Lutheran family...

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Funny story: Pamplona Bull Run Results In No Deaths Again

Pamplona Bull Run Results In No Deaths Again

The annual 'Running of the Bulls' bull run in the Spanish city of Pamplona got off to a disappointing start today when absolutely nobody - not a single person - was killed. The event is a major attraction for the city, with morbid spectators takin...

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Funny story: Faceless Couple Worry About Who Their Unborn Child Will Look Like

Faceless Couple Worry About Who Their Unborn Child Will Look Like

PIC Listen 253 A faceless couple who are expecting their first child have written that they are concerned over what the baby is going to look like, and who it is most going to resemble when it is born. George and Heather Humdrum, of New Jerse...

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Funny story: Wimbledon: Roger Federer v. Novak Djokovic Match To Be Attended By Pair Of Parasites

Wimbledon: Roger Federer v. Novak Djokovic Match To Be Attended By Pair Of Parasites

Tomorrow's Wimbledon Men's Singles final between number seed, Roger Federer, and tournament favorite and number 1 seed, Novak Djokovic, is to have two special guests: the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Windsor, and her sister-in-law, the Duchess of Cambri...

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Funny story: Sir Kim Darroch Falls On His Sword, And Will Not Be Available For Tiffin

Sir Kim Darroch Falls On His Sword, And Will Not Be Available For Tiffin

The UK ambassador to the United States, Sir Kim Darroch, who attracted some rather negative criticism from the White House, and President Donald Trump in particular earlier today, has fallen on his sword. Darroch's leaked memo to Prime Minister Th...

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Funny story: Man Got Soap In His Eye

Man Got Soap In His Eye

It's a bather's worst nightmare - lathering up during a nice, warm shower, smearing soap into every nook and cranny of your aching body, and then, without realizing it, slapping a lump of the soap into your eye - an experience we could all do without...

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Funny story: Trump Repeals Newton's Laws of Thermodynamics

Trump Repeals Newton's Laws of Thermodynamics

Science Town, USA President Donald Trump has announced at a press conference that he's just heard about Newton's Laws of Thermodynamics. He said, "Who is this Newton guy? He's not even American and he's setting laws for the American people? I had my...

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Funny story: UK ambassador to be sent to Belmarsh Prison with cell next to Julian Assange

UK ambassador to be sent to Belmarsh Prison with cell next to Julian Assange

Striking new memoranda have stirred world leaders, always sensitive about their leadership prowess. Disclosures from UK’s Ambassador to the US, Sir Kim Darroch, leaked via Isabel Oakeshott of The Daily Mail, indicate just what he thinks of the Tru...

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Funny story: TV Guide 11 July

TV Guide 11 July

19:00. Evening Brunch. Adrian Boring and Sally Smile present the weekly magazine programme. Today, the latest in umbrellas, and how to clean your kettle. 20:00. Arse Clinic. Join the team at St Rectum's Hospital as they attempt to fix a prolapse,...

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Funny story: Harry Potter Banned from School

Harry Potter Banned from School

A school near Reading has banned Harry Potter from its shelves, as the books encourage abused children to run away with large hairy men. The head teacher Robert Sinjin Hole of St Juniper's, near Reading, claimed the first book promoted child traff...

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Funny story: Ocasio-Cortez Is Thinking (Out Loud) Again

Ocasio-Cortez Is Thinking (Out Loud) Again

Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) is still considered a freshman in the House of Representatives but talks like a seasoned veteran in the arena of national politics. Believing that our system is totally flawed, she proposes revolutionary ideas almo...

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Funny story: Sanctions Weekly Round-up

Sanctions Weekly Round-up

It's been a busy week in the world of Sanctions, and there has been so much activity, that we thought it only right and proper that we devote some space to the topic, to show which countries have been doing the finger-wagging, and which are the ones...

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Funny story: Talking Dog For Sale: Make Offer

Talking Dog For Sale: Make Offer

BILLINGSGATE POST: Slim Everdingle was driving around Washington and he sees a sign in front of a house in the suburbs. “Talking Dog For Sale.” He rings the bell, and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. Slim goes into the b...

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Funny story: Attorney General Recusal As Epstein-Barr Goes Viral

Attorney General Recusal As Epstein-Barr Goes Viral

New York City, NY - (Teenage Glandular Secretions): There is feverish internet speculation tonight amid claims of a Justice Department stitch-up, after convicted serial pervert, Jeffrey Epstein, was busted at his swanky Upper East Side home. The...

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Funny story: President Plum calls for resignation of congresswoman over anti-Cyania remarks

President Plum calls for resignation of congresswoman over anti-Cyania remarks

President Plum of Purpalon is expressing shock and outrage after discovering the social media comments of a congresswoman who dared to question his motives for helping the Bluish people. According to President Plum, "We should all work to eliminat...

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Funny story: Trump Announces He Will Convert Government Into a Reality Show

Trump Announces He Will Convert Government Into a Reality Show

Mar-O-Lago, FL President Donald Trump made an announcement at his latest press conference: "I understand why everybody's mad at me, and in a bad mood, and making up fake news and all. It's because there hasn't been any good TV entertainment progra...

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Funny story: LGBT+ School To Open In Autumn

LGBT+ School To Open In Autumn

Authorities in Birmingham have announced details of a new ultramodern school facility that will open in the city in September, which will cater specifically, and exclusively for the needs of LGBT+ students. The school, which has been built at a co...

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Funny story: Putin Makes Fun Of Trump’s 4th Of July Parade

Putin Makes Fun Of Trump’s 4th Of July Parade

Vladimir Putin belittled Trump’s parade. Seriously, like a schoolyard chant, it was a case of, “Mine is bigger than yours.” Putin’s mockery sparked the question: Could this romance be over? No more three-hour private meetings with only a Russian tran...

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Funny story: Russian Bot Thrilled With Invite to Trump Social Media Summit at White House

Russian Bot Thrilled With Invite to Trump Social Media Summit at White House

Washington - A Russian internet bot took some time off from his busy schedule of circulating far right political nonsense on Facebook and Twitter, after being invited to the Trump Social Media event in Washington yesterday. The bot, known only by...

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Funny story: The Wind in the Boris

The Wind in the Boris

"Hello, my furry wumpkin friend," said Boris. "Shall we go a-rowing down yonder river? With Mole and Squirrel and that Slut. Tally-ho, splendid! "I'm to be made top chief at Boris Hall, have you heard? They're going to crown me with gold. To be ho...

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Funny story: Epstein, Swinestein, The Pervs Just Keep Coming

Epstein, Swinestein, The Pervs Just Keep Coming

New York City, NY - (ReUterus): Emergency flack jackets have been issued to members of the New York Barr Association ahead of predicted fallout in NYC’s latest perversion of justice case. A claque of former lawyers and publicists for convicted ju...

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Funny story: Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly, Was On Slippery Slope

Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly, Was On Slippery Slope

An old woman who swallowed a horse, acknowledged, shortly before her death, that the key to her demise was actually her initial decision to swallow a fly, something that, once she had done it, could not easily be undone, and she was hooked. The fl...

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Funny story: President Trump: Boris Johnson Showed Big Balls Over Sir Kim Darroch Affair

President Trump: Boris Johnson Showed Big Balls Over Sir Kim Darroch Affair

President Donald Trump has said that he admires Boris Johnson, and the way that he dealt with the row over the former UK ambassador to the United States, Sir Kim Darroch. Faced with a mounting diplomatic problem over leaked emails from Sir Kim in...

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Funny story: Scared: Your Kids

Scared: Your Kids

A study by the group Action For Children has found that children as young as 11 have admitted to being terrified about terrorism, homelessness and what’s going to happen after Brexit. This is odd, because kids are normally only concerned about themse...

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Funny story: US 'Chaperone' Politician Arouses His Wife's Suspicions

US 'Chaperone' Politician Arouses His Wife's Suspicions

The US politician who refused an interview with a female reporter unless she brought along a male chaperone, have aroused the suspicions of his wife, it seems. Robert Foster, a Republican candidate for Mississippi governor, told reporter, Larrison...

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Funny story: Queen summons army to quell rebellious Scots

Queen summons army to quell rebellious Scots

Her Majesty the Queen was at the head of a five thousand-strong army marching to the Scottish border last night. The Queen has grown weary of Scottish dissent and repeated calls for independence from the United Kingdom, and will attempt to quell t...

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Funny story: Facebook to introduce, Odious, Right-Wing, Knuckle-Dragger List

Facebook to introduce, Odious, Right-Wing, Knuckle-Dragger List

Social media giants, Facebook, are to give users of the platform the chance to move people on their friends list, who exhibit, unsavoury, extreme right-wing tendencies, into a category that will run in tandem with their regular friends list but will...

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Funny story: I'll Beat Trump's Bloody Head In: Dalai Lama's Shock Outburst

I'll Beat Trump's Bloody Head In: Dalai Lama's Shock Outburst

His Holiness, The Dalai Lama, shocked Buddhists across the world last night, by telling journalists that he's "had enough of that f******g cretin, Donald Trump," and vowed to "beat his bloody head in" at the earliest opportunity. Speaking at a pre...

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Funny story: California Earthquakes Part of a Plot To Eject Golden State

California Earthquakes Part of a Plot To Eject Golden State

The plot to separate California from the rest of the country has been exposed thanks to a government whistleblower. Although the truth has come out, it might be too late to save California because the plan is in motion and unstoppable. Operation F...

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Funny story: Math Teacher Suspended: Inappropriate Word Problems on Tests

Math Teacher Suspended: Inappropriate Word Problems on Tests

Anaheim, CA. Exclusive to The Spoof. An ultra-conservative school board in ultra-conservative Orange county today placed on administrative leave and removed from the classroom, a popular high school math teacher whose students consistently had the hi...

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Funny story: Grannies knit a tea-cosy for Britain

Grannies knit a tea-cosy for Britain

Ladies across the UK are toiling like crazy to knit a giant tea-cosy to cover the whole country. The enormous knitwear is intended to protect Britain in the event of a no-deal Brexit. Women's Institute spokeswoman Menstrua Geoffcock explained, "Th...

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Funny story: Football Gossip: Palace, Jay-Z, Scottish "Insult", Rafa Warning, Lamps Back at Chelsea

Football Gossip: Palace, Jay-Z, Scottish "Insult", Rafa Warning, Lamps Back at Chelsea

Arsenal are prepared to add defenders Calum Chambers, Carl Jenkinson or midfielder Mohamed Elneny into any potential deal for Crystal Palace's Wilfried Zaha. The Gunners have already had a £40m offer for the 26-year-old Ivory Coast winger rejected.

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