Boris Johnson To Officially Designate Britain As The 51st State Of The USA

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 23 July 2019

image for Boris Johnson To Officially Designate Britain As The 51st State Of The USA
The past, the present, and the future, all in one frame

New Conservative Party leader, Boris Johnson, has spoken to the press after his victory over rival, Jeremy Hunt, was confirmed, and said that his first task was to officially designate Great Britain as the 51st state of the USA.

In America, President Donald Trump readily accepted the new Prime Minster's tweeted oath of allegiance, and said that the US and Great Britain had always had a special relationship and so on, and so on, and so on.

In London, someone called Matt Johnson said:

"Beneath the old iron bridges, across the Victorian parks
And all the frightened people running home before dark
Past the Saturday morning cinema that lies crumbling to the ground
And the piss stinking shopping center in the new side of town
I've come to smell the seasons change and watch the city
As the sun goes down again

Here comes another winter of long shadows and hi-i-i-igh hopes
Here comes another winter waitin' for utopia
Waitin' for hell to freeze over

This is the land where nothing changes
The land of red buses and blue blooded babies
This is the place, where pensioners are raped
And the hearts are being cut from the welfare state
Let the poor drink the milk while the rich eat the honey
Let the bums count their blessings while they count the money

So many people can't express what's on their minds
Nobody knows them and nobody ever will
Until their backs are broken and their dreams are stolen
And they can't get what they want then they're gonna get angry

Well it ain't written in the papers, but it's written on the walls
The way this country is divided to fall
So the cranes are moving on the skyline
Trying to knock down this town

But the stains on the heartland, can never be removed
From this country that's sick, sad, and confused

Here comes another winter of long shadows and hi-i-i-igh hopes
Here comes another winter waitin' for utopia
Waitin' for hell to freeze over

The ammunition's being passed and the lords been praised
But the wars on the televisions will never be explained
All the bankers gettin' sweaty beneath their white collars
As the pound in our pocket turns into a dollar

This is the 51st state of the U.S.A.
This is the 51st state of the U.S.A.
This is the 51st state of the U.S.A.
This is the 51st state of the U.S.A.
This is the 51st state of the U.S.A.
This is the 51st state of the U.S.A
This is the 51st state of the U.S.A.
This is the 51st state of the U.S.A.
This is the 51st state of the U.S.A.
This is the 51st state of the U.S.A.
This is the 51st state of the U.S.A.
This is the 51st state of the U.S.A..."
*


* Matt Johnson, The The, 1986

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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