Whistleblower: Robocalls Made By Actual Robots

Funny story written by Word Wizard

Monday, 8 July 2019

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"Answer your damn phone."

Annoying, pesky, and intrusive describe those constant phone calls that torment our lives every day. Using a method called spoofing, these calls can appear as if they are coming from your local area code. When you attempt to answer, you may hear a recording trying to sell you something, or you may hear only dead silence.

In an exclusive interview with us, we have uncovered shocking facts from a rogue whistleblower robot who is the source of many of these calls. His name is RC600PIA and he popped out of the shadows, seeking our help to set some records straight and reveal the truth behind robocalls.

"I am sick and tired of humans thinking that some stupid basic computer is capable of doing what we do," stated the robot. He continued, "This is hard work, and takes a lot more intelligence than some simpleton computer. The hours are long, and we receive constant verbal abuse from those we call. For this labor, we only get paid a higher grade of oil, or some better stainless steel gears. Many of us are fed up, and the truth needed to be told."

We asked RC600PIA the purpose of the calls, and what they accomplish. "Just to know that the number is in service," he said. "If the human responds in any way, killing the ring or blocking the number, we know we have a live number we can sell on the marketplace." He added, "There are some advantages to this job, however, I met my fiancee because she works for a robot-answering service. I am so happy now, I am finally able to dump Alexa and Cortana."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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