Business Roundup with The Money

Tuesday, 30 July 2019

image for Business Roundup with The Money
Money: It literally makes the globe rotate

"Hi, this is Geoff Dosh."

"And I'm Geoff Wonga."

"Welcome to The Money. Let's have a look at all the money. In Britain, the money was down. In the EU, the money was unchanged. In the US and China the money was up. Tune in tomorrow to check on how much money your money is worth. Now over to Geoff for the Crystal Ball Casino."

"Thanks, Geoff. Today, as usual at Crystal Ball Casino we have a guess at how much money big companies will have in five years time. Apple and Google are down today, that's not because they won't have any money in five years, but because they will have slightly less money than we previously guessed they would have. Meanwhile, Money Banking Group are up, as always. Because at a casino, always bet on the house."

"Thanks, Geoff. Now for the conglomerated Crystal Ball Casino figures, where we add together all the money that we guess companies will have in five years time for each country. In Britain, the guess index was up slightly, in Germany it rose as well. The guess index was down in France, so that's bad news for them. Let's hope they can do something in the next week to make our guesses more positive. That should improve their numbers."

"Thanks, Geoff. Now that's all from The Money, until tomorrow."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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