The Arctic Circle Doesn't Exist!

Written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Friday, 19 July 2019

Tuktovaktuk, Northwest Territories, Canada. Famed explorer Etaoin Shrdlu has sent The Spoof an email from Tuktovaktuk that may change how we think of the Arctic.

Shrdlu's email included a photo of him standing at a signpost on the Inuvik-Tuktovaktuk Highway, south of this community. The sign clearly states that he is standing on the Arctic Circle. However, the sign is supported by two heavy posts that stand in a straight line under the sign. There is no circle evident... anywhere!

Apparently, the Canadian government has perpetrated a hoax on gullible tourists, enticing them to make the journey on this foreboding stretch of seemingly endless road, in order to see the famed, but non-existent, Arctic Circle. Unlike the continental divide, where a visitor can empty a cup of water and see it flow in two directions simultaneously, the dubious Circle offers no evidence of its existence.

Shrdlu spent two days searching for a circle on the ground, but found nothing but caribou dung. He has asked the Auto Club to forewarn their members that, in the words of Gertrude Stein, when you reach the notorious circle,"There is no there there."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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