Dating Site Changes Name as Result of Overfishing

Written by Chrissy Benson

Monday, 15 July 2019

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There may no longer be plenty of fish in the sea, but there are plenty on the Fish Farm!

Popular online dating site Plenty of Fish, a.k.a. POF, has changed its name to Fish Farm in the wake of predictions that continuation of current commercial fishing practices will result in fishless oceans by 2050.

"There simply aren't plenty of fish in the sea anymore," said POF/FF dating expert Savannah Heaton. "We couldn't, in good conscience, continue to claim that the dating pool, or any pool, for that matter, is teeming with keepers - except for one: the fish farm."

Some have criticized the name change, noting that what is euphemistically referred to as the aquaculture industry is as big, dirty, and dangerous as factory farming on land, and, thus, the term "Fish Farm" has less than positive connotations. Fish farms require massive amounts of antibiotics, hormones, and pesticides simply to keep shrimps and fishes alive in dirty, overcrowded conditions, and they confine such majestic marine animals as salmon, accustomed to swimming hundreds of miles in the open ocean, to cramped spaces in which they can scarcely navigate.

Nevertheless, Heaton feels that the Fish Farm moniker is apt for the online dating scene. "It's true that the specimens in such places are not exactly in prime condition," she said. "But that's what dating is all about - not waiting around for the perfect prospect, but working with the pool you've got."

And from the responses of its love-seeking clients, it seems that Fish Farm may be onto something with the new moniker. "I like the idea of a fish farm," said 24-year-old Candace Jones. "It makes my odds of snagging someone a lot better than in the regular ocean. And I don't want my men being able to swim too far away."

Interested in finding your own romantic specimen, raised in captivity just for you? Check out the Fish Farm website at factoryfarmfling.web

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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