National Rifle Association Office Closed Today

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 30 July 2019

image for National Rifle Association Office Closed Today
Go smash a window while you can!

In a surprise development, members of the public who visited the offices of the National Rifle Association (NRA) in Fairfax County, Virginia this morning, have described the building as closed, "boarded-up", windows smashed, car park empty, and "looking abandoned".

The NRA has come under intense pressure recently, both from the public and in the media, in the aftermath of high-profile shootings, such as the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting and the Stoneman Douglas High School shooting.

Indeed, including last weekend's shootings at the Gilroy Garlic Fair, where three people - including two children - were killed, there have been 246 mass shootings in the US this year.

The NRA has steadfastly stuck by its decision to defend the right of all Americans to bear arms, even in the face of the numerous tragedies and almost countless deaths caused by their illegal use.

With its backing by powerful and influential figures, the NRA has, until now, been able to successfully defend its position, but the closure of its office today may signify a change.

Members of the public had gone to Fairfax County to demonstrate outside the NRA building, but finding it closed, were, at the time of writing, looking around for combustible materials with which to remove it from the face of the earth.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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