Damien Hirst Makes Strange Stipulation In His Will

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 2 July 2019

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Rumours are rife in the world of art, that Damien Hirst, the artist who is repeatedly lampooned for being a non-artist, and for copying the work of others, has made a strange stipulation within his last will and testament, which will see him respectfully dissected lengthways, and preserved in formaldehyde.

The 1995 Turner Prize winner is famous for his tinkerings with the carcasses of dead animals, having 'showcased' such macabre works as 'The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living' - a shark in formaldehyde, 'Mother and Child Divided' - a cow and its calf cut into sections and displayed, and a sheep in a tank of formaldehyde entitled 'Away from the Flock'.

The artist's first animal installation, 'A Thousand Years', was a large glass case containing maggots and flies feeding on a rotting cow's head.

Wikipedia notes that:

Hirst [once] said: "I can’t wait to get into a position to make really bad art and get away with it. At the moment, if I did certain things, people would look at it, consider it, and then say 'f off'. But after a while, you can get away with things."

Now Hirst has gone the whole hog, if you'll pardon the pun. He's dabbled with the remains of animals so often, that it looks as if he won't be happy until he, himself, is pickled in formaldehyde, and displayed in an art gallery for his adoring fans to ogle.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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