Russian Girl, 12, Sent To Siberian Camp For Taking Selfie With Vladimir Putin

Written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 1 July 2019

image for Russian Girl, 12, Sent To Siberian Camp For Taking Selfie With Vladimir Putin
She's a bit tall for 12, but then again, he's a bit short for 66

A 12-year-old Russian girl who tried to take a selfie with President Vladimir Putin, has been sent to a Siberian work camp for eight years.

Vera Ivanovska took the photograph as Mr Putin arrived at the G20 Summit in Osaka on Friday. The president's security team moved in quickly and escorted her from the scene. She was taken away for questioning, and later flown back to Moscow by Aeroflot, arriving late on Saturday afternoon.

A court having already heard her case in her absence, Ivanovska was then whisked away to a camp on the Gulag Archipelago, an extremely cold outpost at this - or, indeed, any other - time of the year, where she will spend time cooped-up for the next eight years, until she's well-and-truly learnt her lesson.

It's not all bad news for Vera, though. She'll be allowed to take a cold shower every morning, whether she likes it or not, and will receive two bowls of gruel per day - often accompanied by hot grit. There's plenty of work available to make the time pass more quickly, ranging from breaking rocks into small pieces, to mineral mining, in mines that descend as far as 800 meters under the Siberain plains.

Vera was available for comment, but, rather wisely for her years, said nothing.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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