US ratchets up defense against Iran with advertising campaigns into the disputed area

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Friday, 5 July 2019

image for US ratchets up defense against Iran with advertising campaigns into the disputed area
Mr. Trump says he is still capable of this maneuver from earlier in his career

Anonymous sources at the State Department indicate a new campaign is underway to encourage resolution of conflicts—via advertising and subtle messages.

The targets start with Iran, with extension of the new scheme to Venezuela and North Korea being considered also.

So far efforts to provoke Iran into military conflict, with the US response as "defense," have not succeeded.

Plus, it is too soon to know the results of Mr. Trump’s efforts with his words and a massive military parade yesterday.

Under study by the Pentagon is the “quaking factor.”

That is, along with Mr. Trump’s promises of “obliteration,” sundry intrusions into hostile territory here and there, and the July 4 military parade, just how much US enemies are quaking in their boots is not yet clear.

In review, various efforts to encourage violence by Iran have not succeeded.

These include: tankers in the Persian Gulf being attacked; drone with accompanying manned spy plan crossing into Iranian territory; an Iranian tanker bound for Syria taken hostage by US ally the UK; and a second plane intrusion on July 3.

This last was a US air force manned signal intelligence plane RC-135V Rivet Joint flying over two Iranian islands, Abu Musa and Sirri.

Again Iran refrained from military response, with sources indicating Mr. Bolton bit off half his mustache in agony over this failure.

However, new plans have immediately formed, prompted by the thinking of Jared Kushner and Ivanka, Mr. Trump’s daughter.

Why not use the age-old essential tool of the American Economic System—advertising?

Accordingly, both CNE Air Piper PA-25 and Zeppelin Blimp pulling banners will be summoned into action in Iranian territory as soon as possible.

They will be pulling long banners, written in both English and Persian, and flying at a moderate pace:

Examples of messages on the trailing banners:

*Hey, you mother-f**kers, when you gonna get the message we’re coming for you! You hear?

*Dear Rouhani, come on over to Madison Square Gardens and meet our President, Mr. Trump, in a kick-boxing ring--if you think you’re tough enough!

*Listen, Iran: you’re not fooling anybody with this it’s our fault you’re accumulating heavy water because we broke the agreement. Irrelevant! Get it!?


*F**k you and the camel you rode in on!”

Mr. Trump is reported excited over this new approach to diplomatic relations, and again encouraging Iran to come to the negotiating table.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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