There were 3,125 spoof news stories published in 2019. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to browse the spoof news archives.

Funny story: Harry Maguire Says He Didn't Sign Last Season Because Jose Mourinho Was Manager

Harry Maguire Says He Didn't Sign Last Season Because Jose Mourinho Was Manager

Manchester United central defender, Harry Maguire has revealed the real reason he didn't sign for the club a year ago, when Jose Mourinho was the Reds' boss: Jose Mourinho. Maguire, 26, had been on the United radar for the last two summer breaks,...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Under Investigation After Making Phone Call To Jamie Vardy

Harry Maguire Under Investigation After Making Phone Call To Jamie Vardy

Manchester United and England centre-half, Harry Maguire, is in hot water this evening, after he was discovered making a telephone call to his former teammate at Leicester City, Jamie Vardy. Maguire and Vardy were best friends at Filbert Street, w...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire: Arsenal Might Be Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's Last Match In Charge

Harry Maguire: Arsenal Might Be Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's Last Match In Charge

The Premier League season is only six matches old, yet we already find ourselves speculating on who the first managerial casualty will be, and, with Manchester United hosting Arsenal on Monday night at Old Trafford, is it possible that Ole Gunnar Sol...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire: Players Are Fed Up Of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer

Harry Maguire: Players Are Fed Up Of Ole Gunnar Solskjaer

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender who joined the Red Devils in an £80million summer transfer from Leicester City, has said the ongoing rumours over the future of manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, are starting to have a negative effec...

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Funny story: Manchester United Give Harry Maguire Captain's Armband

Manchester United Give Harry Maguire Captain's Armband

Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy of English football, signed by Manchester United for £80million from Leicester City on Monday, is to be given the Old Trafford captain's armband as a gesture of just how valuable an asset the cl...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Wins National Lottery

Harry Maguire Wins National Lottery

In a story almost too unbelievable to be believed, the Manchester United and England centre-half, Harry Maguire's namesake, Mr. H Maguire of Manchester, has won the National Lottery jackpot this weekend. Mr. Maguire, whose first name - coincidenta...

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Funny story: Liverpool FC In Trouble After Five Fail Drug Tests

Liverpool FC In Trouble After Five Fail Drug Tests

The row over Liverpool fielding a young and inexperienced team to face Aston Villa in the EFL Cup defeat last week gathered new momentum today, after it was revealed that five of the youngsters had failed their drug tests. The names of the players...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Signing Was "The Last Straw", Says Alexis Sanchez

Harry Maguire Signing Was "The Last Straw", Says Alexis Sanchez

Alexis Sanchez, the Manchester United striker, who has signed a season-long loan deal with Italian giants, Inter Milan, has said his decision to leave Old Trafford was finally taken when manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer bought Harry Maguire for £80millio...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Involved In Strange Incident Before Match On Sunday

Harry Maguire Involved In Strange Incident Before Match On Sunday

Manchester United's £80million defender, Harry Maguire, has revealed details of a strange incident in the changing room before Sunday's Premier League opener against Chelsea, when the star's head was too big to fit through the headhole in his shirt.

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Funny story: Mauricio Pochettino Seen Circling Emirates

Mauricio Pochettino Seen Circling Emirates

Mauricio Pochettino, the former Tottenham Hotspur manager, who, earlier in the week had been spotted in various locations around Manchester, was last night seen lurking around the Emirates Stadium before, during and after Arsenal's 2-1 Europa League...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Take All Manchester United Penalties From Now On

Harry Maguire To Take All Manchester United Penalties From Now On

Manchester United boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer revealed last night that, after Marcus Rashford's penalty blunder against Crystal Palace yesterday, and Paul Pogba's earlier miss against Wolves, that £80million newboy Harry Maguire will take all the Reds...

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Funny story: Manchester United Ready To Give Pochettino Manager's Job

Manchester United Ready To Give Pochettino Manager's Job

Manchester United executives are thought to be putting the finishing touches to a deal that would install Mauricio Pochettino to the coveted Old Trafford manager's job, but will wait until after today's game with Aston Villa to make an announcement.

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Suspended Indefinitely For Playing With Inflated Balls

Harry Maguire Suspended Indefinitely For Playing With Inflated Balls

BILLINGSGATE POST: Harry Maguire, the most expensive defender in world football, has been suspended after Manchester United fought to a 1-1 draw with lightly regarded Southampton yesterday. After challenging his team to improve their performance...

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Funny story: Manchester United Manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's Head Is Getting Smaller

Manchester United Manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's Head Is Getting Smaller

Rumours are rife around Old Trafford this morning, as speculation rises that Manchester United coach Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's head is getting smaller. Solskjaer was photographed alongside new signing, £80million former Sheffield United, Hull City an...

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Funny story: U.S. Threatens to Send Mitch McConnell to Iran - Iran Agrees To New Nuclear Deal

U.S. Threatens to Send Mitch McConnell to Iran - Iran Agrees To New Nuclear Deal

In a rare moment of cooperation between the State Department and the Trump White House, the United States threatened to gift Iran with Mitch McConnell, and shook Iran's Mullahs to their core. "We simply cannot accept this generous offer to send th...

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Funny story: Mauricio Pochettino Seen At Manchester Piccadilly

Mauricio Pochettino Seen At Manchester Piccadilly

Mauricio Pochettino, the former Tottenham Hotspur manager, who was sacked by the north London club earlier this week, looks like he may be about to become the new Manchester United boss, after he was seen alighting from a train at Piccadilly Station...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Has Had 'Second Thoughts' About Manchester United

Harry Maguire Has Had 'Second Thoughts' About Manchester United

Having previously told news reporters he would never sign for Premier League football giants Manchester United because he hated them, Harry Maguire has now had 'second thoughts', and signed for the Reds on Monday, for a ridiculous £97million. Magu...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Diagnosed With Terminal Katsaridaphobia: Future Uncertain

Harry Maguire Diagnosed With Terminal Katsaridaphobia: Future Uncertain

BILLINGSGATE POST: Harry Maguire has never vowed to play again at Old Trafford until the cockroaches infesting the locker rooms have been equipped with safety helmets. As reported yesterday by crack reporter Monkey Woods, the Manchester United defen...

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Funny story: Man In Boardroom Smelt It, But Had Not Dealt It

Man In Boardroom Smelt It, But Had Not Dealt It

A man in a boardroom meeting has told how he became aware of an odious smell that had nothing to do with him. Michael Brackley, 26, an executive trainee at Pratley-Whiffer Marketing Consultants explained that he was in a group policy meeting on ma...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire performs famous Dragonball move during training, injuring three teammates

Harry Maguire performs famous Dragonball move during training, injuring three teammates

Yesterday during a training session at Old Trafford, star Man Utd defender performed the famous 'Kamehameha' in a mock attempt to stop Daniel James' shot. Unbeknownst to tbe defender, a real beam of light actually shot out and hit three other play...

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Funny story: Sadio Mané Can't Stand Mo Salah Anymore

Sadio Mané Can't Stand Mo Salah Anymore

There's trouble brewing in the Anfield dressing room tonight, after Liverpool's Sadio Mané told striking partner, Mo Salah, that he is so angry with the Egyptian, that he no longer regards him as a friend, and doesn't want to talk to him anymore.

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Funny story: Old Bag Shopping Trolley Sales At 40-Year High

Old Bag Shopping Trolley Sales At 40-Year High

Figures out today reveal an unexpected upturn in retail sales for the month of January, with many shops that sell those 'old bag' shopping trolleys (pictured) reporting a huge increase in demand. The trolleys are the preferred method of conveying...

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Funny story: Bezos Takes Over National Enquirer and Merges it With Washington Post

Bezos Takes Over National Enquirer and Merges it With Washington Post

Although it was thought that the National Enquirer would become the advertising insert of the venerable Washington Post, it turns out it is actually to become more of a print version of Amazon.com. Bezos has long envied the Enquirer's place on th...

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Funny story: Mane's VAR mistake

Mane's VAR mistake

~Anfield After a 1-1 draw with Manchester United on Sunday, Sadio Mane was outraged with Manchester United's goal, saying that it should not have stood. He criticised VAR, and said that it had been used wrongly, claiming that Liverpool should have...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire: It Would Be Nice To End My Career Winning Trophies At City

Harry Maguire: It Would Be Nice To End My Career Winning Trophies At City

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United central defender, has dropped a veritable bombshell in the lap of Reds' boss, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, by saying that, although he is currently enjoying life at Old Trafford, he would like to end his career winning t...

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Funny story: Karl Lagerfeld Cat To Make Changes To Brand

Karl Lagerfeld Cat To Make Changes To Brand

The death of German fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld on Tuesday, and the subsequent revelations about his will, might well mean huge changes ahead for the Lagerfeld empire. Lagerfeld, 85, left his $200million fashion empire entirely in the hands of...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Given Go-ahead To Stay In Bed Late On Monday Morning

Harry Maguire Given Go-ahead To Stay In Bed Late On Monday Morning

Harry Maguire, the new pin-up boy of football, who signed for Manchester United for £80million from Leicester City last Monday, made his debut at Old Trafford against Chelsea this afternoon, and has received the go-ahead from manager Ole Gunnar Solsk...

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Funny story: Unproductive Aussies farted out of their jobs

Unproductive Aussies farted out of their jobs

Australian business men and women (do they fart too?) have discovered a way of ridding their companies of useless unproductive workers, causing a humongous 'stench'. Employees on long contracts who are caught 'resting on their laurels' or, on the...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Buy Some New Football Boots

Harry Maguire To Buy Some New Football Boots

Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy of English football, who signed for Manchester United for £80million from Leicester City on Monday, says he might buy some new football boots, as a special treat to himself for becoming the most...

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Funny story: Trump Advises Netanyahu on Avoiding Prison

Trump Advises Netanyahu on Avoiding Prison

Benjamin Netanyahu, Israel's Prime Minister, faces a possible trial on charges of bribery, fraud and corruption after his attorney general announced that he would file for an indictment. Seeking advice from someone who's been there, he reached out to...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Meet President Donald Trump

Harry Maguire To Meet President Donald Trump

White House sources say that President Donald Trump is to hold conference talks with new Manchester United signing, fresh-faced, good-looking golden boy, and 'brick shithouse', Harry Maguire. The pair will talk on a variety of issues, including f...

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Funny story: Polar Bears Are Changing Color

Polar Bears Are Changing Color

Polar Bears, the big, beautiful 'White Warriors of the North', are adapting to climate change in a totally unexpected way that was unforeseen by scientists, in that they are changing their color. The bears, who live almost 'unseen' in the totally...

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Funny story: Drug Cartel Sues Energy Drink Corporation over Trademark Infringement

Drug Cartel Sues Energy Drink Corporation over Trademark Infringement

Earlier this week, 'The Office of Envigado,' (former enforcement wing of the Medellin Cartel that inherited their turf and business connections)(source Wikipedia) in a stunning move; filed a lawsuit in the Seventh Circuit, US District Court for the N...

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Funny story: Trump Cancels the 1848 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo with Mexico

Trump Cancels the 1848 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo with Mexico

President Trump signed an executive order today to unilaterally cancel the 1848 Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo. Under the treaty at the end of the Mexican-American War, on July 4, 1848, the United States agreed to pay Mexico US$15 million for the lan...

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Funny story: Manchester United Dumps Ole Gunnar: “Action” Jackson To Take Reins

Manchester United Dumps Ole Gunnar: “Action” Jackson To Take Reins

BILLINGSGATE POST: Manchester United announced today that manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has been fired, to be replaced by Jack “Action” Jackson, an American topflight manager who caught their eye last year after posting an undefeated season with the...

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Funny story: The REAL Reason the Marshall Kim Jong-Un and President Donald Trump Talks Broke Down

The REAL Reason the Marshall Kim Jong-Un and President Donald Trump Talks Broke Down

Saigon, Vietnam Although the world was left wondering why Trump left the North Korean-U.S. Disarmanent Talks early is because there was an incident that was kept secret. While many news agencies went along with the idea that Kim was soft on givin...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Signs Affidavit Not To Let Jamie Vardy Score On September 14th

Harry Maguire Signs Affidavit Not To Let Jamie Vardy Score On September 14th

New Manchester United defender, Harry Maguire, who signed for the Reds from Leicester City for £80million on Monday, has signed a second legal document, an affidavit with the club's solicitors affirming that, when his new club meet his old club at Ol...

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Funny story: City Centre Retail Success Story Keeps On Growing

City Centre Retail Success Story Keeps On Growing

The value of being selected as the UK City of Culture has been proven beyond all shadow of a doubt, after the news that Hull, the 2017 incumbent, has expanded its city centre retail trade exponentially, according to local gossip. Despite losing it...

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Funny story: Trans female athletes highly prized by college recruiters

Trans female athletes highly prized by college recruiters

Following record-setting performances by trans female high school athletes across the country, college recruiters are taking notice of the impact these athletes are having on women’s sports. “Well, what we’re seeing is nothing short of a revolutio...

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Funny story: On Becoming A Storm Trooper - One Piece Of Armor At A Time

On Becoming A Storm Trooper - One Piece Of Armor At A Time

They take you on when you are crippled, weak. They know that, when you are vulnerable, they can mold you into the relentless warrior machine they want you to be. In the beginning, you can wear only black, in homage to the All Great, Ever-Seeing, A...

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Funny story: Banksy Now In Existential Period

Banksy Now In Existential Period

Banksy, the street artist, whose stencil-design works attract media attention all over the world, has changed direction, and has now entered his 'Existential Period'. The Bristol-based artist is famous for stealing around under cover of darkness w...

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Funny story: Jurgen Klopp Set For Liverpool Exit?

Jurgen Klopp Set For Liverpool Exit?

Liverpool manager, Jurgen Klopp, has aroused speculation amongst fans that he harbours a secret desire to become a ventriloquist, and has had a mouthful of new teeth fitted to help him to achieve his goal. Klopp was being interviewed by the BBC's...

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Funny story: The Sultan Of Brunei Is A Bender

The Sultan Of Brunei Is A Bender

News is emerging from the little-known South-East Asian country of Brunei Darussalam this morning, that the nation's mega-rich leader, the Sultan of Brunei, is as bent as a nine bob note. Hassanal Bolkiah, whose real name is Haji Hassanal Bolkiah...

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Funny story: More Than Half Of Denmark Is Now Built From Lego

More Than Half Of Denmark Is Now Built From Lego

It's been confirmed that significantly more than half of all buildings constructed in Denmark since 2001 have been built from Lego. The figure is actually 97%. Lego is the Danish company that produces the children's interlocking plastic buildin...

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Funny story: Teacher Embarrassed By Algebra Question

Teacher Embarrassed By Algebra Question

A teacher at a school in Bangkok was left red-faced on Friday after a student asked him a question about algebra that he could not answer. Moys Kenwood, 49, was teaching a Science lesson, during the course of which, the name 'Albert Einstein' came...

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Funny story: Arabic Porno Magazine Goes On Sale From Today

Arabic Porno Magazine Goes On Sale From Today

A 'Men's Magazine', so indecent, that we are unable to print a picture from it, goes on sale in the Persian Gulf from today. Instead, we have provided a picture of another magazine of a similar ilk, which is also geared towards Arabic men. The...

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Funny story: Quantum Mechanics Book Left Man Stumped

Quantum Mechanics Book Left Man Stumped

A text book about Quantum Mechanics that one man pulled off a library shelf because he'd always fancied learning about what Quantum Mechanics really were, probably made him wish he hadn't bothered when he discovered that the subject was rather too ba...

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Funny story: Cheaply Purchased Trac Phone Runs Out Of Minutes As Man Desperately Tries To Provide Advice To Others

Cheaply Purchased Trac Phone Runs Out Of Minutes As Man Desperately Tries To Provide Advice To Others

Beloit, Wisconsin. Brad Steiner's trac phone ran out of minutes last Friday, February 1st, after he spent the entire evening desperately trying to provide deep advice to others who were feeling emotionally distressed and extremely troubled. Brad,...

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Funny story: Popsicles Melting at Alarming Rate

Popsicles Melting at Alarming Rate

A daycare center in Oakland, California, experiencing the extreme effects of rising global temperatures, has reported that popsicles are melting at an alarming rate. “Children are our future,” said daycare attendant Maria Vazquez, “and our kids ar...

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Funny story: Polyana Viana Teaches Man A Painful Lesson

Polyana Viana Teaches Man A Painful Lesson

A man who tried to rob the MMA fighter, Polyana Viana, outside her apartment in Brazil, received his comeuppance in no uncertain terms, when the UFC competitor kicked the living shit out of him. Viana was outside her Rio de Janeiro home when the m...

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Funny story: Man Who Eats A Lot Of Fish Develops A Hankering For The Sea

Man Who Eats A Lot Of Fish Develops A Hankering For The Sea

A man who eats an astonishing amount of fish and chips for his tea, has revealed how, recently, he has experienced a strange, burning inner passion to live in the sea. Moys Kenwood, 55, eats a plate of fish and chips, on average, four times a week...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Save Bolton And Bury

Harry Maguire To Save Bolton And Bury

The futures of the two football clubs under threat of expulsion from the Football League due to financial reasons, Bury F.C. and Bolton Wanderers, are secure tonight, after Manchester United's record £80million defender Harry Maguire stepped in to gu...

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Funny story: Man Amazed At Things He Discovered In Loft

Man Amazed At Things He Discovered In Loft

A man who was asked by his mother to go up and get something from in her loft, was amazed at some of the things he found there. Moys Kenwood, from Hull in East Yorkshire, ascended the loftladder with a degree of trepidation at what lay in wait, in...

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Funny story: Humanity Will Outlive Insects by at Least a Month, Claims Optimistic Report

Humanity Will Outlive Insects by at Least a Month, Claims Optimistic Report

The world is still recovering from a shock caused by the latest scientific report claiming that all insects may be extinct by the end of the century, which will result in a collapse of the planetary ecosystem. In an effort to plant a seed of opti...

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Funny story: Trump Orders Cohen Have His Gums Painted With Gentian Violet For Lying

Trump Orders Cohen Have His Gums Painted With Gentian Violet For Lying

BILLINGSGATE POST: Ominously, the day began with the Four Horses of the Apocalypse peacefully munching oats in the White House stables; their teeth tipped with rubber so that they would not wake up Slim Everdingle from his troubled slumber. Slim was...

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Funny story: Local Employee Decapitated For Having Too Many Unexcused Absences

Local Employee Decapitated For Having Too Many Unexcused Absences

St. Paul, Minnesota. The corporate staff at Pete's National Decking Products, a factory that produces household furniture items and outdoor decking material, executed one of their employees last Monday at 12:30 pm. Thomas Waters, 42, was allo...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire: Manchester United Can Be Champions

Harry Maguire: Manchester United Can Be Champions

Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender, has said that his team can still win the Premier League title this season - and he can prove it. The Yorkshireman was speaking after United's stunning 2-1 victory over their intens...

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Funny story: Outrage at Facebook IQ and Extremism Test

Outrage at Facebook IQ and Extremism Test

In a bid to resurrect its faltering reputation, and in the face of a possible US$3billion fine, Facebook Nerd-in-Chief, Mark Zuckerberg, has decided to clean up his corrupt organisation. Not before time, you might say. In a surprise and hastily-c...

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Funny story: West Brom Fans Disrespectful To Fallen War Heroes

West Brom Fans Disrespectful To Fallen War Heroes

Remembrance Day is the day when those who perished in battle are honoured with a celebration of their bravery, and recognition of the price they paid for our freedom. We should observe it, each in our own way, but, ideally, not in the way some sectio...

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Funny story: Chinese Takeaway Has Opened On The Moon

Chinese Takeaway Has Opened On The Moon

It's been revealed that the very first Chinese takeaway has been opened on the Moon. The news was announced as part of Chinese state media's press conference on the Chang'e-4 space probe, which is exploring the dark side of the Moon, and hopes to...

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Funny story: Scientists Link Youtube Political Propaganda Videos to 5 Point Drop in Average IQ of Americans

Scientists Link Youtube Political Propaganda Videos to 5 Point Drop in Average IQ of Americans

Atlanta - Scientists studying an apparent 5-point drop in the average IQ of adults in the United States, have established a connection between the fall in test results and the online and television viewing habits of those subjects. The research...

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Funny story: Man Spotted Lad Wearing Fake Adidas Trainers

Man Spotted Lad Wearing Fake Adidas Trainers

Not all of us can afford the best in clothing and shoes, and often, we have to make do with cheaper substitutes. This was exactly the scenario at a Bangkok school this week, when an English instructor witnessed one of the students in one of his c...

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Funny story: Wife Beats Up Hubby Because of a Song

Wife Beats Up Hubby Because of a Song

Truth be told -- it wasn't just ANY song the hubby was crooning. It was that old 1909 song, "My Wife's Gone to the Country (Hurrah! Hurrah!)." Music by Ted Snyder, with lyrics by Irving Berlin and George Whiting. Here's an excerpt: My wif...

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Funny story: Jeff Bezos Divorce Proves Money Can't Buy Happiness

Jeff Bezos Divorce Proves Money Can't Buy Happiness

The world's richest man, Amazon boss, Jeff Bezos and his wife, MacKenzie, are to divorce after 25 years of marriage, proving, without a shred of a doubt, the old maxim that money can't buy you happiness. Bezos created the multinational technology...

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Funny story: Trump Declares War On Iran: Sidewinder Missiles Take Out Camel Caravan

Trump Declares War On Iran: Sidewinder Missiles Take Out Camel Caravan

BILLINGSGATE POST: In an extreme example of asymmetric warfare, President Trump retaliated against Iran for attacks on oil tankers in the Persian Gulf by unleashing a barrage of Sidewinder Missiles this morning. Early satellite photos show camel bod...

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Funny story: Bookworm Has Read Some Awful Books Lately

Bookworm Has Read Some Awful Books Lately

A man who considers himself something of a bookworm, has revealed how, over the last few months, he has had the misfortune to have selected for reading several books that have turned out to be an absolute bag of shite. Moys Kenwood, 55, reads book...

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Funny story: Weightlifter Drops Dumbbell On His Face Due To Severe Depression While Song, "Dust In The Wind," Plays In The Background

Weightlifter Drops Dumbbell On His Face Due To Severe Depression While Song, "Dust In The Wind," Plays In The Background

Wisconsin. On the morning of Tuesday, February 26th, local Prairie du Chien resident, Tom Smith, 39, dropped a 50-pound dumbbell on his face while doing heavy incline presses at a gym several blocks down the street from where he lives. Feeling...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire To Replace Ole Gunnar Solskjaer As Manchester United Manager

Harry Maguire To Replace Ole Gunnar Solskjaer As Manchester United Manager

In an announcement from Old Trafford just minutes ago, it was revealed that Manchester United manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, is to be replaced with immediate effect by £80million summer signing from Leicester City, Harry Maguire. Maguire, 26, beco...

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Funny story: Harry Maguire Now More Popular Than Harry Potter, Google Search Reveals

Harry Maguire Now More Popular Than Harry Potter, Google Search Reveals

Harry Maguire, the fresh-faced, good-looking, record-breaking £80million Manchester United defender, is now even more popular than Harry Potter, a Google search has revealed. The little-lad magician has been the most popular 'Harry' for decades, b...

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Funny story: Michael Cohen gets Hollywood Blvd Star

Michael Cohen gets Hollywood Blvd Star

Hollywood, CA. The Bored Directors - yes, that's what they call themselves - of the famed Hollywood Walk of Fame, voted today to place a star on the fabled sidewalk in recognition of Michael "Flip" Cohen's unequaled performance before House and Senat...

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Funny story: Home Secretary Has Blood On His Hands

Home Secretary Has Blood On His Hands

Home secretary, Sajid Javid, the man who was responsible for the revoking of Shamima Begum's British citizenship, has now become responsible for the death of another British citizen - Shamima's 3-week-old son, Jarrah, who died of pneumonia in a Syria...

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Funny story: This Country Declares War On That One

This Country Declares War On That One

After mounting tension over the last two weeks between the two countries, fighting finally broke out along the border, and a declaration made at 3pm this afternoon, was that This Country is at war with That One. Hostilities then commenced in earne...

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Funny story: People Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report

People Still Go To Church On Sunday While Cheating On Each Other And Looking For More Money, According To Report

After surveys and statistical data were analyzed at the University of Colorado last week, the results indicated that people actually do cheat on each other constantly, while looking for more money as they steadfastly maintain a need to go to Church e...

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Funny story: Man Became Sexually Aroused In Queue At Bakery

Man Became Sexually Aroused In Queue At Bakery

A man waiting in line at a bakery shop in New York has told friends how, in looking around at the various items for sale, he became sexually aroused. Arthur Fandango stood in the queue at the Jake's Cakes bakery in Queens, when his absent-minded g...

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Funny story: New Study Shows that Everything Happens for No Reason Whatsoever

New Study Shows that Everything Happens for No Reason Whatsoever

A new study conducted by the Quantum Institute of Life Theory strongly suggests that contrary to the feel-good mantra that everything happens for a (presumably divine) reason, in actual fact everything happens for no reason whatsoever. “It’s a lit...

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Funny story: No Parking: A Story of Revenge

No Parking: A Story of Revenge

They say New Year’s Eve in New York is special. Well, this one was, that’s for sure. At least for me. I stare down at the stained blue rug. The corpse has been wheeled out to the mortuary van, but the chalk outline of the literary critic’s tortured body remains as a creepy reminder for me and the other ten members of my writing club. The clock is striking twelve; the New Year has begun. But s...

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Funny story: Trump To Meet Ice Cube Over Future Of Hip-Hop

Trump To Meet Ice Cube Over Future Of Hip-Hop

President Donald Trump took a break from his day-to-day presidential duties of upsetting the leaders of other nations, insulting his political rivals, and edging the US and the rest of the world nearer to Armageddon, by announcing that he is to meet...

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Funny story: LGBT Groups Hostile Towards Queerbaiting

LGBT Groups Hostile Towards Queerbaiting

LGBT groups have today been demonstrating once again, as is their wit - this time about Queerbaiting in music and television. Queerbaiting is a practice that involves making subtle hints within a song or show that it might contain some aspect of i...

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Funny story: Trump Plans To Build Casinos Along Length Of Border

Trump Plans To Build Casinos Along Length Of Border

President Donald Trump today revealed details of his plans for the development of land in the border area with Mexico, plans which are dominated by the somewhat surprising intention to build a number of 'Supercasinos'. The casinos would, Trump say...

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Funny story: Jussie Smollett Says All White People Attacked Him

Jussie Smollett Says All White People Attacked Him

Jussie Smollett, the black African-American actor who used to star in the Empire TV series, claims he has been the victim of a callous, vicious, and malicious race-motivated attack by every single white person on the planet, and he's deadly serious.

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Funny story: Noel Gallagher And Elton John To Record Live Wembley Album Before FA Cup Final

Noel Gallagher And Elton John To Record Live Wembley Album Before FA Cup Final

Two Titans of the music world, Sir Elton Hercules John and Mr. Noel Gallagher, have agreed to come together to record a live album in front of the 100,000 crowd at Wembley Stadium, before this season's FA Cup final between their respective favourite...

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Funny story: Neural Implant that Could Translate Brain Activity in Stupid People

Neural Implant that Could Translate Brain Activity in Stupid People

Most humble, open-minded people can not only communicate with well-structured sentences, but also with gestures such as subtle eye movements. Then, there are those individuals who are arrogant and stupid-ass. They can't read any subtle gestures, l...

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Funny story: Iceland launches new low cost cryonics service

Iceland launches new low cost cryonics service

Frozen food retailer Iceland took the lucrative cryonics industry by surprise today with the launch of a low cost service for those wishing to freeze their body, or parts of it, for the future. Marketed under the brand name 'Super-Chill', the serv...

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Funny story: Scientists Cautiously Pessimistic about Climate Change

Scientists Cautiously Pessimistic about Climate Change

Following publication of the most recent U.S. government climate assessment report, scientists are cautiously pessimistic regarding the impact of global warming. “I’m not going to sugarcoat things,” said climatologist Robert Garland, Ph.D., “but...

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Funny story: Theodore McCarrick Hopes There Is No God

Theodore McCarrick Hopes There Is No God

The former archbishop of Washington, D.C., who is currently mired in allegations of sexual abuse, has said that he hopes that there is no God, otherwise he is in a shitload of trouble. Theodore McCarrick, now 88, faces charges of sexually abusing...

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Funny story: Michael Jackson Breaks Silence

Michael Jackson Breaks Silence

In a tiny, aging building along a busy Mesa, Arizona street, local fortune teller Madam Lisbane finishes a palm reading for one of her regular customers. She tells her that the coming equinox will create unimaginable havoc in her life, and that she m...

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Funny story: Mauricio Pochettino Spotted In Manchester Trafford Centre Buying Household Items

Mauricio Pochettino Spotted In Manchester Trafford Centre Buying Household Items

Shoppers at Manchester's Trafford Centre retail complex became excited this afternoon, after former Tottenham Hotspur manager, Mauricio Pochettino, was seen with his wife, shopping for bed linen. He was also carrying some towels and two cushions.

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Funny story: Jussie Smollett Diagnosed As Color Blind

Jussie Smollett Diagnosed As Color Blind

Jussie Smollett, the African-American former star of the TV series 'Empire', has suffered a another setback today, after he was diagnosed as color blind, by me. Smollett isn't just borderline color blind, either. The star, who was paid $65,000...

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Funny story: Simple brain zapper gives older adults the cognitive skills of a 20 year old

Simple brain zapper gives older adults the cognitive skills of a 20 year old

A Birmingham man has invented an electrical device which he claims dramatically improves the working memory of older adults. The ‘Cerebrummie’ is the brainchild of retired BT engineer Arthur Monke and goes on sale next week for only £4.99 in selec...

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Funny story: Man Absolutely Nails Perfect Wave to Passing Driver

Man Absolutely Nails Perfect Wave to Passing Driver

A man driving back from the dump today absolutely nailed his wave to a minor acquaintance who passed him in his car. “It was just fantastic,” said the man. “The guy drove past me, I recognized his car, I made eye contact and then gave a cool nonch...

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Funny story: Black Hole Needs To Pull Up Its Pants

Black Hole Needs To Pull Up Its Pants

Newly-released images have stunned the scientific community. A Nobel Prize recipient was quoted as saying, "Nobody wants to see that. Put on some underwear or something." This latest test confirms the hypothesis that the universe is composed of...

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Funny story: Karl Lagerfeld Used To Stroke His Cat

Karl Lagerfeld Used To Stroke His Cat

The late fashion designer, Karl Lagerfeld used to stroke his cat, Choupette, it's been revealed. Lagerfeld, who died on Tuesday, aged 85, would sit for hours in a high-backed swivel chair gently stroking the beautiful, silky, white fur of Choupett...

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Funny story: Man Endured Tortuous Khmer Wedding

Man Endured Tortuous Khmer Wedding

It should have been a time for happiness and rejoicing on Saturday, but one man who was invited to a wedding enjoyed the whole tortuous, tedious torment so little, that he kept asking his wife: "Are we nearly at the end of this caper?" Moys Ken...

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Funny story: Elton John is not actually gay

Elton John is not actually gay

For decades, Elton John has prided himself on being one of the most annoyingly obvious homosexuals on Earth. However, his apparent act as a "brown dirt cowboy" is based on a lie. TheSpoof can exclusively reveal that Elton is, in fact, a half-man,...

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Funny story: H&M To Consider Namechange After Confusion With Famous Footballer

H&M To Consider Namechange After Confusion With Famous Footballer

The fashion clothing retailer, H&M, are said to be considering a namechange for their brand, after it was revealed that many of their customers are under the impression that the company is run by the Manchester United and England central defender...

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Funny story: Writing Instructor Has Trouble Completely Barring Students from Using Adverbs

Writing Instructor Has Trouble Completely Barring Students from Using Adverbs

In her course emphasizing punchy, to-the-point writing, Crestwood Community College Professor Sandra Finn strongly advises her students to avoid using adverbs, but found she had trouble completely barring them from doing so. “I tried to tell them...

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Funny story: Indian Fighter Pilot To Captain Cricket Team Against Pakistan In World Cup

Indian Fighter Pilot To Captain Cricket Team Against Pakistan In World Cup

Indian fighter pilot, Abhinandan Varthaman, the man captured then released by Pakistan after his bombing raid went wrong, has been praised by millions on social media, and has been awarded the highest accolade known to Indians - he is to be allowed t...

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Funny story: Martina Navratilova Changes Her Name To Martin

Martina Navratilova Changes Her Name To Martin

Former women's tennis star, Martina Navrátilová, has announced that she has changed her name to 'Martin'. It's not immediately apparent why the 18-time Grand Slam singles winner has decided to make this alteration, but it is almost irrelevant, as...

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Funny story: Elton John FA Cup Final Performance Offer Snubbed

Elton John FA Cup Final Performance Offer Snubbed

Sir Elton Hercules John, the popular singer, who has millions of fans worldwide, has offered his services as pre-match entertainment at this year's FA Cup final between his beloved Watford, and Manchester City, at Wembley Stadium in May, but has been...

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Funny story: Snow Forecast For Switzerland Again

Snow Forecast For Switzerland Again

Weather forecasters in the wonderful Alpine winter wonderland of Switzerland are in an excitable mood this morning, after it was looking like snow would once again fall in the country, just as it always does. Heavy snowfalls are expected in Anderm...

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Funny story: White House Will Fill Vacant Federal Jobs by Lottery

White House Will Fill Vacant Federal Jobs by Lottery

Mira-la-go, FL There are very many federal jobs left open that Trump has never filled. Also, of the people that Trump DID appoint, more are quitting every day. Therefore, since the Human Resources Department, the ones who do the hiring and firing,...

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