"It Wasn't Me!", Said Girl

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 29 July 2019

image for "It Wasn't Me!", Said Girl
It wasn't her

A filthy young New York streetgirl accused of stealing and eating some chocolate from a shop, has claimed she wasn't responsible, despite the evidence still being all over her face.

The grotty urchin, who looked about 5 years old, was interviewed by police officers outside a 7-eleven in Harlem, after a store employee identified her.

When questioned, the girl, with tousled hair, ragged clothes, and a stream of snot all along her top lip, told officers:

"It wasn't me!"

Several eyewitnesses who had been in the 7Eleven at the time, also pointed the finger of guilt at the girl, but she stubbornly repeated her denial:

"It wasn't me!"

One of the officers took pity on the girl, and took her to a nearby restroom, so that she could use the toilet and clean up her face.

Then, with the girl now freshly spruced-up, the officers reviewed the store's CCTV footage of the incident, proving, without any shadow of a doubt, that the suspect was the thief. Calmly, the girl asked:

"Don't you need some kind of 'physical evidence' of stolen goods?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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