Putin Ridicules Trump’s 4th Of July Parade

Written by K.C. Bell

Tuesday, 9 July 2019

image for Putin Ridicules Trump’s 4th Of July Parade
"And his ball bearings were shot."

Vladimir Putin belittled Trump’s parade. Seriously, like a schoolyard chant, it was a case of, “Mine is bigger than yours.” Putin’s mockery sparked the question: Could this romance be over? No more three-hour private meetings with only a Russian translator and absent anyone taking notes?

Putin added, “And his tanks were rusty.”

About to get up out of bed, but hearing Putin's latest ridicule, “His tanks were rusty?” Trump collapsed back into bed, remaining tweet-less, cold compresses applied to his forehead, moaning, “My tanks aren’t rusty. Just ask Melania.”

But Putin wasn’t finished. He needled on, “Were they tanks Trump used during the American Revolution?”

Ouch!

Trump ordered Kellyanne Conway to send Michael Cohn to Russia to tell Putin to quit making fun of him. Kellyanne reminded him that Cohn was in jail. Then send Michael Flynn. Flynn was grounded and might be going to jail as well. Trump then order Kellyanne to send Paul Manafort, his Russian connection for all very private dealings with Russia. Kellyanne informed him that Manafort was also in jail.

“What about Roger Stone?”

Kellyanne was heard to say Stone was under indictment, the judge had his passport, and he wasn’t going anywhere. Okay, send Jerad. Jerad already blew that away saying, No. Russian weather doesn’t agree with him.

Then you go.

Not my job.

Trump sat up in bed and asked precisely what Kellyanne did in the White House. She told him to settle down, not to worry about Putin. Putin was still his exceptional, good pal.

She would order a Hot Toddy for him with root beer flavor and the new issues of Playboy and Kick-Ass magazine. The White House chef just took a peach cobbler out of the oven, one of his favorites, and Jeffrey Epstein would like a pardon, quick, or else, as would Manafort, and Flynn, which are all no-nos. Lastly, the British ambassador just called you inept.

"In dept?"

"No inept. As incompetent, a failure, juvenile."

"But not in dept."

"No, sir."

“Da. The teleprompter Trump used was hacked. Like his 2016 vote count? Perhaps? You think? Da? Net?”

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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