Joe Biden Wins Over Sheep Vote In Montana

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Saturday, 20 July 2019

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BILLINGSGATE POST: Asked by Rachel Maddow if he was surprised by the hospitality of the sheep while he was campaigning in Montana, the Vice-President responded with a sheepish smile:

"Hell no. The sum-bitches kicked out two brand new pairs of Eddie Bauer hip boots on me while we were romping around in the barn. I knew they were happy though, cuz they were grinning from ear to ear."

"How did you know they were grinning?" asked the turtle-necked, pseudo loony, her patented come-hither look sequestered over her horn-rimmed glasses.

"Used what they call a Montana pole," replied the bemused gentleman, who was but one heart-beat away from the presidency a few years ago. "While I got their back legs trapped in my Eddie Bauers, I put this pole with a mirror attached in front of their head to see if they were smiling."

"You gotta be kidding.”

"No worries, Rachel. There’s no age of consent for sheep in Montana.”

“Do you think Trump will use this against you if you win the nomination?”

“Hell no. They all signed a “non-disclosure agreement.”

Slim Everdingle: “This ain’t Kansas, Toto.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Wonder if he nailed Dolly the Sheep”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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