Iceland Is Melting

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 25 July 2019

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Time is running out for Iceland

An environmental crisis is unfolding in the north Atlantic, after it was revealed that, due to global warning and climate change, Iceland is melting.

The Nordic island country with a population of just under 358,781 used to have an area of 103,000 km², but a recent study estimated that, if the current rate of meltosity continues unabated, the country will have been reduced to a few ice cubes by 2100.

Indeed, if current levels of meltonomics are increased - for instance, by defrosting refrigerators too often - it may become possible to fit the whole of Icleand inside a refrigerator before that date.

It's thought that a contributory factor to Iceland's problems is that so many Icelanders like to eat ice, and this has gone on unchecked for centuries.

Iceland's capital, and largest city, is Reykjavík, which is never easy to spell, and almost as hard to say, especially if you've had a few. Residents there are desperately attempting to stem the flow of ice floes flowing into the sea by refusing to turn their heating on when it gets extra chilly, and only eating salads.

Eating ice-cream has also been banned, in an effort to preserve ice stocks.

Iceland has been in its current location ever since the last Ice Age, and many houses are still built of ice from that time. If Iceland does completely melt, its government may have to ask Greenland if Icelanders can go and stay with them, at least until Iceland starts to form again at the next Ice Age.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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