Could Cthulhu Be Donald Trump's Real Name?

Funny story written by Zabdgrov667

Wednesday, 31 July 2019

image for Could Cthulhu Be Donald Trump's Real Name?
If You're Driving to Washington DC and See This... Use the Brakes.

DUNWICH Massachusetts - The Democrats of the US Congress began their efforts to Impeach Donald J. Trump on November 8, 2016. However, "investigations" to determine his motivations, his base of power, and his true origins began many, many months earlier. The world became witness to the incoherent ramblings of Special Counsel Robert Mueller on July 24th, when he sat before the US Congress to give testimony on his knowledge regarding an election which defied "ruling class" expectations.

Some would say that the Robert Mueller of January 2017 was a man of keen intellect, whose mind always had a sharp and laser-like focus.... did something happen? Why was the hearing delayed? What reason kept an "aide" named Aaron Zebley at his side during the testimony?

By unconfirmed reports - NSA, CIA, FBI, hacked security systems, perhaps even the Illuminati - Donald John Trump only sleeps two hours each night. There are no video recordings of the man asleep. Of course, there is no reason that the CIA or the FBI or the NSA would attempt to make such recordings, even if Congress said they should attempt such recordings. All Americans are protected by the 4th Amendment, from searches ordered in "secret courts."

What happens if citizens of the United States vote for an extra-dimensional being whose existence sets the fabric of reality hurling like a black hole that's wrapped on a Möbius strip flickering infinitely where there is time-backward, time-forward, and other phases of incomprehensible states.

Can a single "tweet" be filled with 140 Eldritch Runes of Madness from forgotten halls of R'lyeh?

Most legal scholars do not analyze the US Constitution in terms of powerful, alternate-quasi-space, god-like, alien beings which cannot be described in worldly concepts. Is it a "high crime" when one warps the frail minds of old men who believe themselves to be "The Law", yet whither at the revelation that infinity is no different from a singularity after being surrounded by an unbound matrix of trans-infinity?

Rumor has it that the Illuminati have chosen not to oppose President Donald J Trump. Apparently, their official public statement was "what manner of man can stand against the one which is Cthulhu?"

The medical profession has incontrovertible evidence to the existence of "TRUMP DERANGEMENT SYNDROME" - those who have spent the most years in Washington DC seem to be afflicted by its worst forms of dementia.

Outside of Washington DC (and California), there are many who calmly accept Donald Trump as the MUCH Lesser "evil", because when they hear the phrase "Unspeakable Horror of Infinite Corruption" - it's a reference to Clintons.

Apocalypse News - maybe H.P. Lovecraft was closest to the right answer, even though he said nothing about 2020.


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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