London Homophobic Night Bus Attack Boys Face Being Bummed On Live TV As Punishment

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 26 July 2019

image for London Homophobic Night Bus Attack Boys Face Being Bummed On Live TV As Punishment
This wasn't the bus, but it could very well have been!

The four boys arrested and charged with the homophobic attack of two women who refused to kiss for them on a London bus in May, may have to face an extraordinary punishment if convicted - a sound, powerful and sustained bumming by muscular gay men, live on national television.

The boys, aged 15, 16, 16 and 17, approached Melania Geymonat and her date Chris, who doesn't have a surname, on the N31 bus in West Hampstead, on its way to Camden Town, at about 02:30am on 30 May.

Melania told police that her assailants were aggressive, spoke about sexual positions, lesbians, and how they wanted her and Chris to kiss, so they could watch. She and Chris refused, arousing the ire of the frisky lads, and a beating took place.

Not being very bright, the boys were soon picked up, and charged with the attack.

They've also been charged with various offences including theft, handling stolen goods, and possessing cannabis. Sound like right nasty pieces of work, don't they?

All was progressing nicely with the case, and legal procedures being correctly observed, until this morning, when a press conference was called by new prime minister, Boris Johnson. His hardline approach to crime has been bolstered by the news from the US that executions are to be resumed there, and, he said:

"I see no reason why we should not follow America's lead. For too long now, criminals have been let off too lightly with a gentle 'slap of the wrists', and told not to do it again. We're going to put that right, starting here with these naughty boys on the bus."

An open-mouthed press corps listened as Johnson then went on to describe the fate that awaited the boys should guilty verdicts be returned. He said:

"I'm not much of a fan of homosexuals myself, but we have to 'live and let live', and we can't have bus travel being made as unpleasant as this was. A jolly good ramming from the back by big, strong men, with their families and friends watching on TV, should be enough to take the wind out of these lads' sails."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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