Greek Mythology Debunked

Funny story written by Chrissy Benson

Monday, 1 July 2019

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"I really miss Athena," said a Greek classics professor, dismayed to learn that an inspiring Greek myth was but a myth.

Age-old Greek creation mythology regarding the universe's journey from the primeval void of Chaos to a virtual pantheon of all-powerful deities has been definitively debunked, according to the latest scientific reports.

"It's disappointing," said Greek classics professor Theo Gionappoulos of Staten Island University in New York. "But the evidence of a different sort of evolution is pretty compelling."

Gionappoulos added that, in fact, the most recent research calls into question the existence of goddesses like Aphrodite and Athena altogether. "It's a real blow," he said.

Spiritually rudderless following this sweeping refutation of their foundational assumptions about the dawn of creation, Gionappoulos, along with many other Greeks, has turned to the more scientifically-substantiated tradition of Christianity, whose teachings, unlike the baseless tales of Greek gods, have been well verified in many peer-reviewed scientific journals.

Even so, while Gionappoulos has found solace in his new, more reasoned perspective, he admits that, for him, the transition hasn't always been easy. "Mary's okay, but, honestly, I really miss Athena," he said. "I was a big fan."

While have many expressed great sympathy with regard to Greeks' ultimate humiliation at having their cherished spiritual beliefs exposed as no more than fairy tales, some feel that the debunking ought to have come as no surprise.

"Their spiritual myths are at least called myths," said college student Tyler Glass. "That might have been their first clue."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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