President Donald Trump has said that as a result of the 2019 Gold Cup final defeat the United States suffered at the hands of Mexico, the two countries are now in a state of war.
The US women's team became World Cup champions by beating the Netherlands 2-0 in Paris, also on Sunday, but the men's team came up short, losing 1-0, after wasting a hatful of chances against their criminal, terrorist neighbors from south of the border.
When informed of the defeat, President Trump pulled out his phone and tweeted a declaration of war to his Mexican counterpart, whatever his name is.
Military chiefs-of-staff were summoned to the White House in the early hours of Monday morning, and told to ready the army and air force for a full-scale attack on Mexico City. Trump got busy on Twitter, pouring his vitriol on anything he deemed Mexican, including chinchillas, tortillas and sombreros.
He said he would "annihilate Mexico to death", but, after intervention by senior White House officials, this was later downgraded to a humble message of congratulation to the victorious Mexican team.
