Trump Declares War On Mexico After USA Gold Cup Loss

Written by Monkey Woods

Tuesday, 9 July 2019

image for Trump Declares War On Mexico After USA Gold Cup Loss
There are no chinchillas in Mexico

President Donald Trump has said that as a result of the 2019 Gold Cup final defeat the United States suffered at the hands of Mexico, the two countries are now in a state of war.

The US women's team became World Cup champions by beating the Netherlands 2-0 in Paris, also on Sunday, but the men's team came up short, losing 1-0, after wasting a hatful of chances against their criminal, terrorist neighbors from south of the border.

When informed of the defeat, President Trump pulled out his phone and tweeted a declaration of war to his Mexican counterpart, whatever his name is.

Military chiefs-of-staff were summoned to the White House in the early hours of Monday morning, and told to ready the army and air force for a full-scale attack on Mexico City. Trump got busy on Twitter, pouring his vitriol on anything he deemed Mexican, including chinchillas, tortillas and sombreros.

He said he would "annihilate Mexico to death", but, after intervention by senior White House officials, this was later downgraded to a humble message of congratulation to the victorious Mexican team.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more