North Pole is Missing - in More Ways Than One

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Monday, 22 July 2019

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Warsaw, Poland. Spoof News Service. Etaoin Shrdlu, fresh from his disappointing effort to locate the Arctic Circle, has reportedly failed in a second venture, this time into the ice north of Canada. This trek was financed by the Polish government.

Motivated by a childhood desire to "find the North Pole," Shrdlu mounted an overland expedition last winter with the pole as his destination. After scouring the ice for several weeks, he returned dejected from his fruitless journey.

"We used GPS, a variety of sophisticated electronic paraphernalia - all to no avail. We photographed every square inch of a region for 10 miles in all directions from the spot designated on maps as the pole. There was no pole there, nor was there any indication that there ever had been a pole placed there. Like the Arctic Circle, it doesn't exist."

The Polish interest in his exploration, however, had nothing to do with the top of the earth. Poland's government was interested in tracking down a rumor that a small band of Poles had headed north through Finland into the Arctic to escape either the Russians or the Germans in World War II. All had returned after the war except one. The Poles with Shrdlu's group. however, were unable to find the north Pole.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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