There were 397 spoof news stories published in July 2022. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Ted "Eddie Munster" Cruz Says That The Hundreds of Daily Death Threats Don't Scare His RINO Ass One Damn Bit!

Ted "Eddie Munster" Cruz Says That The Hundreds of Daily Death Threats Don't Scare His RINO Ass One Damn Bit!

WAXAHACHIE, Texas - (Satire News) - Ted Cruz who says he was born in Canada, but his 'real' birth certificate shows that he was born in Pudding de Platano, Guatemala, told a reporter with Hearsay Today that he is getting over 800 death threats a day,…

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Funny story: 14 More Russian Generals Defect

14 More Russian Generals Defect

MOSCOW - (Satire News) - The Kremlin Voice has just informed the people of Russia that 14 more top Russian generals have defected. The DV said that the top officers are now in Poland, where they are being treated as heroes by the Polish people.

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Funny story: Japan is Sending Godzilla to Ukraine

Japan is Sending Godzilla to Ukraine

In a great leap forward of advanced molecular cellular biology, nano-technology, and just some good old fashioned voodoo, Japanese scientists have now created an authentic giant lizard out of a normal-sized lizard. Godzilla has been born again!…

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Funny story: Josh Hawley: “I Only Ran From the Capitol Riot Because My Daughters Wanted to Go to Cancun”

Josh Hawley: “I Only Ran From the Capitol Riot Because My Daughters Wanted to Go to Cancun”

Washington - Missouri Senator and all-around douchebag Josh Hawley claimed that he ran like a scared rabbit from the January 6th Capitol rioters he had only a few hours earlier given a fist salute because he was “running late to catch a flight to Can…

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Funny story: PGA Challenges Hypocrites Who joined LIV Golf Tour

PGA Challenges Hypocrites Who joined LIV Golf Tour

BILLINGSGATE POST: With a number of famous professional golfers, including Phil Mickelson, Dustin Johnson, Brooks Koepka and Bryson DeChambeau, jumping from the PGA Tour to the LIV Tour, some bad blood is developing between the members of the two g…

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Funny story: A Sexy-Looking Nevada Newlywed Bride Slips On a Discarded Poker Chip

A Sexy-Looking Nevada Newlywed Bride Slips On a Discarded Poker Chip

LAS VEGAS - (Satire News) - Triana Seacastle, 28, totally planned every aspect of her wedding ceremony to Gregory Nipwater. She took care of planning the entire ceremony from hiring the caterers, to booking the band, to contracting the charcoal dr…

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Funny story: Supreme Court Chief Justice Brett "The Dictator" Kavanaugh Is Pelted With Chicken McNuggets At a Bronx Mickey D's

Supreme Court Chief Justice Brett "The Dictator" Kavanaugh Is Pelted With Chicken McNuggets At a Bronx Mickey D's

THE BRONX, New York - (Satire News) - Tabloid Today has just shown a video of Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh getting his black robed ass pelted with dozens and dozens of Chicken McNuggets at a Mickey D's in the Bronx. The SCOTUS member had…

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Funny story: The World Federation Alliance Has Just Fined Russia (And Putin) $71.8 Million For Illegally Invading Ukraine

The World Federation Alliance Has Just Fined Russia (And Putin) $71.8 Million For Illegally Invading Ukraine

HAMBURG, Germany - (Satire News) - After extensive consideration the World Federation Alliance has decided to issue a $71.8 million fine against Vladimir Putin and the Russian nation. The fine is for Putin's blatant act of Acto Aggresatorio Muchis…

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Funny story: Marjorie Taylor Greene Announces That She Will Be Entering The GOP Presidential Race

Marjorie Taylor Greene Announces That She Will Be Entering The GOP Presidential Race

BALTIMORE - (Satire News) - Marjorie Taylor Greene has just shocked the hell out of a lot of people; including former boyfriends Matt Gatez, Jim Jordan, Rudy Giuliani, and Donald Trump. The vulgar, potty-mouthed MTG, told a reporter with The Ipso…

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Funny story: Someone Has Stolen Two of The Three Books That Were In The Trump Library

Someone Has Stolen Two of The Three Books That Were In The Trump Library

BROOKLYN - (Satire News) - The Brooklyn Police Dept. is reporting that overnight someone broke into the Trump Library and stole two of the three books that were housed in the library. The Trump Library librarian, Henrietta F. Nux, 91, told the inv…

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Funny story: Prince Charles Says That He Loves To Watch The Dallas Cowboys and Their Sexy Cheerleaders

Prince Charles Says That He Loves To Watch The Dallas Cowboys and Their Sexy Cheerleaders

LONDON - (Sports Satire) - Prince Charles recently told Piers Morgan that he actually prefers to watch a Dallas Cowboys game than a Manchester United Red Devils game. Chas, as the Duchess of York (Sarah Ferguson) prefers to call him, noted that he…

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Funny story: The Texas Senate Moves To Move The Average Summer Temperature In Texas From 98.6 Degrees To 103 Degrees

The Texas Senate Moves To Move The Average Summer Temperature In Texas From 98.6 Degrees To 103 Degrees

AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - The state senate of Texas has decided to make changes to state booklets on tourism. By a vote of 61 to 19, with 20 abstintations, the senate will have the state printing company show in the Texas tourism brochures t…

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Funny story: Bezos-Musk, Inc. Is In The Process of Trying To Buy Iceland

Bezos-Musk, Inc. Is In The Process of Trying To Buy Iceland

AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - The largest corporation in the entire solar system has just announced that they are seriously looking into purchasing Iceland. Jeff Bezos, who owns 50% of Bezos-Musk Inc., told a reporter for iNews (Iceland), that h…

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Funny story: Are You A Trump Monkey?

Are You A Trump Monkey?

The Jan 6 committee is closing in, and Trump supporters are getting scared. They want to distance themselves from the Evil One. Ivanka says she supported what Bill Blair said about the election NOT being stolen. Even Melania is saying she was taki…

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Funny story: A Group of Ukrainian Naval Freedom Fighters Have Captured Russia's Top Naval Officer, Admiral Svetlana Svetvinski

A Group of Ukrainian Naval Freedom Fighters Have Captured Russia's Top Naval Officer, Admiral Svetlana Svetvinski

ON THE WATERS OF THE BLACK SEA - (Satire News) - The Ukrainian government has just made it known that a group of Ukrainian naval fighters report that they have captured Russia's top naval officer, Admiral Svetlana Svetvinksi. The admiral was aboar…

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Funny story: Little NRAers Practice Their Shooting Skills By Blasting Away At Woodpeckers

Little NRAers Practice Their Shooting Skills By Blasting Away At Woodpeckers

BEAVER BELLY, Mississippi - (Satire News) - There is no group anywhere in the United States who allows kids as young as four-years-old to be be members; not the Optimist club, or the Kiwanis club, or the Knights of Columbus or even the Ku Klux Klan.

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Funny story: Putin Finds Difficulties With ‘DeNazifying’ Ukraine - Russian Soldiers Are Shooting Themselves.

Putin Finds Difficulties With ‘DeNazifying’ Ukraine - Russian Soldiers Are Shooting Themselves.

Dictator For Life Putin is facing a great conundrum with his ‘DeNazification’ of Ukraine- Russian soldiers are shooting themselves and their comrades out of confusion. They have been brainwashed into beleiving that the people of Ukraine are still und…

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Funny story: President Biden Fines Trump $29 Million For Causing The Trumpapalooza Heat Wave

President Biden Fines Trump $29 Million For Causing The Trumpapalooza Heat Wave

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - VP Harris met with President Trump and the two have decided that the heat wave that is gripping the nation is truly one horrendously mothereffen satanic occurrence. The National Rumblings News Agency reports that…

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Funny story: Switzerland Is Sending 7 Soldiers And a Cook To Ukraine

Switzerland Is Sending 7 Soldiers And a Cook To Ukraine

BERN, Switzerland - (Satire News) - President Ignazio Daniele Giovanni Cassis of Switzerland, has just informed the Swiss people that he is responding to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy asking the countries of the world for help. President…

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Funny story: Maldives to be the First Fake Country

Maldives to be the First Fake Country

The Republic of Maldives will be the first to sink, according to climate experts, since the islands are already so low to the water. Despite many right-wing experts, climate change has already raised sea levels and scared the shit out of residents of…

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Funny story: The BBC Is Reporting That Their Is a Growing Groundswell To Pick Cheryl Cole To Be The Next British Prime Minister

The BBC Is Reporting That Their Is a Growing Groundswell To Pick Cheryl Cole To Be The Next British Prime Minister

LONDON - (Satire News) - Word coming from the BBC is that now that PM Boris Johnson is on his way out the 10 Downing St. door, suggestions and opinions as to who should replace him are falling from the foggy English sky. Names that have been tosse…

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Funny story: Nancy’s Comin’ In Hot!

Nancy’s Comin’ In Hot!

Nancy Pelosi hopped on the redeye to Taiwan, and this has made China very upset. Who knew the Great Worker’s Fascist Paradise could be taken down by a gal named Nancy?! Will Pelosi topple the regime when she steps off the heavily-protected plan…

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Funny story: Place Yer Bets - Where will the next Mass Shooting be?

Place Yer Bets - Where will the next Mass Shooting be?

Vegas is taking odds. And now more betting establishments around the world want in on the action. Many people have stopped caring about America and its religious fanaticism of guns. From one law (the Second Amendment – this came second? After all…

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Funny story: Trump's Dead Wife Ivana Becomes a Huge Tax Break - By Being Buried at His Golf Course

Trump's Dead Wife Ivana Becomes a Huge Tax Break - By Being Buried at His Golf Course

Donald Trump recently buried his first wife, Ivana, at the National Golf Club in NJ. The 465-acre, 38-hole golf club is now a cemetery and is exempt from all sales and income taxes and any other taxes. Thinking ahead, Trump, either spent cash…

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Funny story: Trump Was Told By A Homeless Woman That 18,394 Ballots That Were Cast For Him Ended Up In Guatemala Whorehouse

Trump Was Told By A Homeless Woman That 18,394 Ballots That Were Cast For Him Ended Up In Guatemala Whorehouse

MAR-A-LAGO - (Satire News) - It appears that these days Donald Trump doesn't know his orange ass from a hole-in-the-ground. Individuals report seeing him walking the beach at his Mar-a-Lago complex dressed in a red MAGA shirt, no pants, no shoes,…

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Funny story: A School of Sperm Whales Nearly Sinks Cambodia's Aircraft Carrier The Bamboo Stick

A School of Sperm Whales Nearly Sinks Cambodia's Aircraft Carrier The Bamboo Stick

SOMEWHERE ON THE BLACK SEA - (Satire News) - The pride and joy of the Cambodian navy, the aircraft carrier, The Bamboo Stick, was nearly sunk after it was severely rammed by a school of five huge sperm whales while on the Black Sea. A spokesperson…

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Funny story: He Said-Xi Said: Biden And Xi Jinping Differ On Joe’s Forklift Sex Caper

He Said-Xi Said: Biden And Xi Jinping Differ On Joe’s Forklift Sex Caper

BILLINGSGATE POST: Did Vice-President Biden have sex with 3 Chinese hookers while driving a forklift down an alley in the Dongcheng District of Beijing during a diplomatic visit in 2013? At the time, it seemed mildly noteworthy, but not particul…

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Funny story: Johnson out after government ministers resigned en masse

Johnson out after government ministers resigned en masse

As the zipper of time descends on its endless journey, the trousers of fate begin to loosen. Boris Johnson has discovered that the underpants of history, which he had only just begun to fill, are now soiled with the memory of his shitness for all tim…

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Funny story: President Biden Is Looking Into Having The Right Wing Leaning Supreme Court Scrapped

President Biden Is Looking Into Having The Right Wing Leaning Supreme Court Scrapped

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Biden has stated that he is sick and tired of The Supreme Court acting like it is the fucking law of the land. He noted that 89.3% of the American people would like to see SCOTUS scrapped and replaced w…

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Funny story: Queen Elizabeth Has Just Adopted a Rescue Fox Hunt Hound

Queen Elizabeth Has Just Adopted a Rescue Fox Hunt Hound

LONDON - (Satire News) - Queen Elizabeth figures that throughout her more than nine decades on earth, she has probably had over 400 pets; including dogs, cats, hamsters, canaries, goldfish, gerbils, turtles, horses, goats, and an aardvark. But acc…

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Funny story: Naked Photos of Kimberly Guilfoyle Are Found In a San Francisco Bank Safety Deposit Box

Naked Photos of Kimberly Guilfoyle Are Found In a San Francisco Bank Safety Deposit Box

SAN FRANCISCO - (Satire News) - One of the country's most well-known political leeches is Kimberly Guilfoyle. The 53-year-old Guilfoyle was once married to the governor of California, Gavin Newsom, and after her divorce from Newsom, she dated two…

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Funny story: Switzerland Is Totally Engulfed In The Out-of-Control Trumpapalooza Heat Wave!

Switzerland Is Totally Engulfed In The Out-of-Control Trumpapalooza Heat Wave!

BERN, Switzerland - (Satire News) - A spokesperson for the Swiss government has informed the news media that record-breaking temperatures are being recorded all over "The Land of Chocolate." The capital city of Bern recently set an all-time record…

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Funny story: LeBron James Has Been Giving Melania Trump's Son Barron, Basketball Lessons

LeBron James Has Been Giving Melania Trump's Son Barron, Basketball Lessons

NEW YORK CITY - (Sports Satire) - One of the greatest NBA players to ever dribble a basketball has been giving Barron Trump, some fundamental basketball lessons. James spoke with his good friend Sports Bet Gazette writer Zorro La Bamba, and he wan…

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Funny story: God Comes Out as Transgender

God Comes Out as Transgender

The religious community has been in a state of uproar since the news this week that God has come out as transgender. We should clarify that we are referring to Yahweh/Jehovah, the God of the Israelites, as portrayed in the old and New Testaments, and…

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Funny story: A Kansas Farmer Teaches His Rooster To Crow The Star-Spangled Banner

A Kansas Farmer Teaches His Rooster To Crow The Star-Spangled Banner

WIZARD OF OZ, Kansas - (Satire News) - Kansas farmer, Oleander F. Window, 58, says that he has been raising egg-laying hens for over 37 years. He pointed out that he has seen lots of unusual things, from a Rhode Island Red hen that will lay seven…

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Funny story: Texas, the Serial Killer

Texas, the Serial Killer

According to one source, from 1976 to 2021 the state of Texas has executed 573 inmates. The next highest states are Virginia and Oklahoma, with 113 each. According to my calculator, those last two states missed out on killing 460 people. According…

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Funny story: New Supreme Court Guidance - Biden Can't Do Anything Without States O.K.

New Supreme Court Guidance - Biden Can't Do Anything Without States O.K.

Justice Roberts and Our New “Confederacy” Court members just issued Guidelines for the new session in the Fall. Basically, States can overrule any Presidential actions - (this is going by the Original Constitution). And each of the five Justices…

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Funny story: Trump's Doctor Says He Definitely Has Fibbafucism

Trump's Doctor Says He Definitely Has Fibbafucism

DETROIT - (Satire News) - The former Golfer-in-Chief flew to Detroit on TransCountry Airlines, to see a specialist who deals in advanced stages of Fibbafucism. Merriman Webster defines Fibbafucism as the end result of an individual constantly lyin…

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Funny story: A Russian Fighter Jet Is Downed When It Hits A Flock of Oversized Hummingbirds

A Russian Fighter Jet Is Downed When It Hits A Flock of Oversized Hummingbirds

MOSCOW, Russia - (Satire News) - The Kremlin Voice has just reported that a Russian fighter jet has been downed when it hit what eyewitnesses say, was a flock of oversized hummingbirds. The jet was on a mission to attack the Ukrainian town of Sums…

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Funny story: London's The Daily Mail Has Been Purchased By The World’s Largest Corporation Bezos-Musk Inc.

London's The Daily Mail Has Been Purchased By The World’s Largest Corporation Bezos-Musk Inc.

LONDON – (Satire News) – Piers Morgan is reporting that Britain’s mid-market newspaper, The Daily Mail, has just been purchased by the biggest corporation in the entire world Bezos-Musk Inc. Jeff Bezos said that they will be changing the name of t…

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Funny story: Alabama's Claude "Bubba" Smick Family Reunion Was Naturally NRA-Theme Oriented

Alabama's Claude "Bubba" Smick Family Reunion Was Naturally NRA-Theme Oriented

DUCK DUNG, Alabama - (Satire News) - The Claude "Bubba" Smick family recently had their annual family reunion at Claude's little 3-acre farm, Redneck Acres. The yearly family get-together was quite nice, with lots of taters, baloney, okra, corn-on…

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Funny story: Bezos-Musk Inc., Has Just Filed a $12.7 Billion Class Action Lawsuit Against Donald Trump

Bezos-Musk Inc., Has Just Filed a $12.7 Billion Class Action Lawsuit Against Donald Trump

AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - The world's largest company Bezos-Musk Inc., which is headquartered deep in the heart of Texas, has just filed a $12.7 billion class action lawsuit against Donald "Lard Butt" Trump. Bezos-Musk, Inc., is represented…

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Funny story: Republican Senator Liz Cheney's Approval Rating With Democrat Voters Is 97.9%!

Republican Senator Liz Cheney's Approval Rating With Democrat Voters Is 97.9%!

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The latest QuinniPinni Poll shows that Wyoming Sen. Liz Cheney, who is a Republican, has just had the highest approval rating by members of the opposing party in the history of the United States. The poll showed…

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Funny story: Schedule F for Fuck It Up!

Schedule F for Fuck It Up!

Donny “The Bull” Trump wrote a Schedule F before he was kicked to the curb. With such a plan, he can fire any federal employee he wants. But wait – there’s more! Anyone who wants to change the law to suit himself – and put his faithful slime in va…

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Funny story: Queen Elizabeth To Raffle Off Her Lampshade Hat To Aid Ukraine

Queen Elizabeth To Raffle Off Her Lampshade Hat To Aid Ukraine

LONDON - (United Kingdom Satire) - Queen Elizabeth has agreed to her good friend Piers Morgan's suggestion that she take one of her over 4,700 hats and raffle it off in order to raise money for Ukraine. Queen Elizabeth praised Morgan and informed…

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Funny story: Three Supreme Court Justices Request A Biden Reappointment

Three Supreme Court Justices Request A Biden Reappointment

The three Supreme Court Justices were reported to be embarrassed by the current news about President Pussy Grabber. Oh, the embarrassment! There's his mob boss tactics, sexual misconduct allegations, witness intimidation, jury tampering, the Ja…

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Funny story: President Biden Has Hired a Navaho Rain Dancer To Be The U.S. Official Rainmaker

President Biden Has Hired a Navaho Rain Dancer To Be The U.S. Official Rainmaker

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - America is experiencing it's worst drought in the history of the nation. President Biden has decided to turn to an individual that he heard about from Las Vegas entertainer and part Native-American Wayne Newton.

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Funny story: The Out-of-Control Wildfires In Great Britain Are Now Threatening To Destroy Windsor Castle

The Out-of-Control Wildfires In Great Britain Are Now Threatening To Destroy Windsor Castle

WINDSOR, England - (Satire News) - The huge wildfires that have scorched the English countryside are now threatening to destroy the 11th century Windsor Castle. Windsor Castle was originally built by The Silas F. Smillinberger Castle Constructing…

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Funny story: Josh Hawley Is The Biggest Scaredy Cat Pussy In America

Josh Hawley Is The Biggest Scaredy Cat Pussy In America

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Josh Hawley has just been named The Biggest Pussy in Washington D.C. Vice President Kamala Harris said that the junior limp-wristed senator from Missouri appears to have some of "Cheeto Face" Trump's wimpish DNA…

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Funny story: Marjorie Taylor Greene And President Biden Have Become Sexting Buddies

Marjorie Taylor Greene And President Biden Have Become Sexting Buddies

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Many of us recall Laurel & Hardy, Abbott & Costello, Lennon & McCartney, and Donald & Stormy. Boom Boom News writer Hacienda Fiddle has just broken the story of a brand new sexting duet..."Biden &…

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Funny story: Why Won’t Anyone Help Those Poor Cocaine Dealers?

Why Won’t Anyone Help Those Poor Cocaine Dealers?

Mar-A-Lago insiders have whispered into this reporter’s ear the real reason why Mexico has rounded up a couple of major cocaine cartel Capos. Like Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzmán, who was tried in New York. Why there? Isn’t that where someone sometimes liv…

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Funny story: NASA's New $10.3 Billion Space Telescope Is Astoundingly Astounding!

NASA's New $10.3 Billion Space Telescope Is Astoundingly Astounding!

HOUSTON, Texas - (Satire News) - Spaced Out Weekly Magazine reports that everyone at NASA is very excited at the sucess that the Bill Nelson Space Telescope is having. Space experts state that the $10.3 billion infrared space observation telescope…

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Funny story: Amy Coney Barrett – Whore for God

Amy Coney Barrett – Whore for God

Now that Amy Coney Barrett has fulfilled her religious cult’s mandate – to get her positioned in America’s highest court in order to turn the nation into a true theocracy where unbelievers can be burned at the stake once again (just like in America’s…

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Funny story: The “Free Julian Assange” Show

The “Free Julian Assange” Show

Welcome to the Free Julian Assange Show! We have a tote board to show how many donations we’ve received to free Julian, and it’s still at zero. But even more exciting, we have famous world leaders on the phone, here to tell you what they’ve b…

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Funny story: The Reason Why Putin Has Threatened To Invade Belgium

The Reason Why Putin Has Threatened To Invade Belgium

MOSCOW - (Satire News) - Japan's national news agency, Saki News has just broken the story that Putin is getting ready to unleash his communist might on the tiny European country of Belgium. And according to Belgium's local press the reason is sim…

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Funny story: Gov. Greg Abbott Angrily Confronts 13 Immigrants From Guatemala And They Spit All Over "Wheelchair Willie's" Ugly Face

Gov. Greg Abbott Angrily Confronts 13 Immigrants From Guatemala And They Spit All Over "Wheelchair Willie's" Ugly Face

EAGLE PASS, Texas - (Satire News) - "Wheelchair Willie," (aka Gov. Greg Abbott) stood in front of 13 immigrants from Guatemala and told them that they need to get back to Guadalajara (Abbott flunked Spanish in high school and in college). One of h…

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Funny story: President Biden Tells The Big U.S. Oil Companies To Lower Their Damn Prices or He'll Buy All of Our Oil From Mexico

President Biden Tells The Big U.S. Oil Companies To Lower Their Damn Prices or He'll Buy All of Our Oil From Mexico

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Biden said he has had it with Exxon-Mobil, Shell, Conoco, Chevron, and Phillips 66, and thinking that they can keep on gauging the pockets of every man and woman in the nation. He pointed out that each…

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Funny story: The IRS Says Trump Owes $7.6 Billion In Back Taxes

The IRS Says Trump Owes $7.6 Billion In Back Taxes

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - A top national news agency has uncovered an IRS story about Trump, in which it is alleged that he owes Uncle Sam $7.6 billion in unpaid taxes. Tapioca Swizzle with The Vox Populi News Agency stumbled upon the Tru…

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Funny story: Vandals Spray Paint Graffiti All Over Trump's New Library

Vandals Spray Paint Graffiti All Over Trump's New Library

BROOKLYN - (Satire News) - Well Trump's Library has been hit by the graffiti sprayers. The Brooklyn Police Department said that they were called at 3:27 am, about someone spraying graffiti all over the Trump Library. When the library first open…

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Funny story: A Freak Fire In The New England Patriots Locker Room Destroys 37 Footballs Along With 63 Jock Straps

A Freak Fire In The New England Patriots Locker Room Destroys 37 Footballs Along With 63 Jock Straps

FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts - (Sports Satire) - A fire of unknown origin started in the Patriots locker room and quickly spread to the equipment closet. A Patriots custodian Otto Tox, 78, said that as he was eating his lunch in the outdoor picnic ar…

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Funny story: Airplane Travel is Dead

Airplane Travel is Dead

Since mask mandates have lifted and people are no longer forced to stay at home against their will, everybody wants to fly fly away! To go anywhere! ANYWHERE – just get me the fuck outa here! There has been a lot of trouble over people trying to g…

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Funny story: Vladimir Putin Has Told Every Priest and Every Nun To Leave Russia Within 24-Hours or Else

Vladimir Putin Has Told Every Priest and Every Nun To Leave Russia Within 24-Hours or Else

MOSCOW, Russia - (Satire News) - Russia's vile, vulgar, creep leader is getting weirder by the hour. The Kremlin Voice reported that Vladimir Nikita Putin, has stated that he wants all Catholic priests and nums to leave Russia within 24 hours.

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Funny story: NASCAR Driver Toby Tarbinski Is Suspended For Two Weeks For Using Illegal Windshield Wiper Fluid

NASCAR Driver Toby Tarbinski Is Suspended For Two Weeks For Using Illegal Windshield Wiper Fluid

CHARLOTTE, North Carolina - (Sports Satire) - NASCAR regrets having to suspend one of their drivers for a violation regarding windshield wiper fluid, A rep for NASCAR stated to Sports Territory Magazine's Tango Brisket, that after an extensive inv…

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Funny story: British Corporations Glad Brexit is Gone - Profits Way Up - Thanks Boris

British Corporations Glad Brexit is Gone - Profits Way Up - Thanks Boris

Boris Johnson will always be remembered as the enforcer of Brexit, the legal change that destroyed Britain's economy for the small business owners. His legacy is that of being a Destroyer - when he was not acting the Clown. But all the huge…

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Funny story: Queen Elizabeth Will Travel To Barcelona, Spain To See About Purchasing a 500-Year-Old Moorish Castle

Queen Elizabeth Will Travel To Barcelona, Spain To See About Purchasing a 500-Year-Old Moorish Castle

LONDON - (Satire News) - Queen Elizabeth, 96, will be traveling on Royalty 1, the queen's personal 747 jet to visit Barcelona, Spain. She will be accompanied by her son Prince Charles, her best friend Piers Morgan, Len Goodman, and eight Buckingha…

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Funny story: An American Stealth Bomber Flies Over Downtown Moscow Totally Undetected

An American Stealth Bomber Flies Over Downtown Moscow Totally Undetected

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Biden has just stated that modern technology is a truly amazing thing, what with iPhones, iPads, iVibrators, and of course America's state of the art iSteath Bombers. He informed the American press that…

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Funny story: Hotlanta (aka Atlanta) Is Hot as Hell as The Thermometer Hits 114!!!

Hotlanta (aka Atlanta) Is Hot as Hell as The Thermometer Hits 114!!!

HOTLANTA, Georgia - (Satire News) - Well the Dixie city known as "Hotlanta" has truly lived up to it's name. Weathermen and weatherwomen in the Georgia state report that due to the Trumpapalooza Heat Wave, the thermometer hit 114 degrees! It wa…

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Funny story: Gov. Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott Mandates That From Now On All Early Voting Democrat Ballots Will Have To Be Placed In a Ballot Box In Amarillo

Gov. Greg "Wheelchair Willie" Abbott Mandates That From Now On All Early Voting Democrat Ballots Will Have To Be Placed In a Ballot Box In Amarillo

AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - "Wheelchair Willie," better known as "The Asshole From Texas," recently told a reporter with The Amarillo Morning Messenger newspaper that he is even more popular than Texas athletes Dak Prescott (Cowboys), Jose Altuve…

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Funny story: Paris Cancels Their Very Popular Annual Bi-Sexual Ooh La La Parade Due To A Lack of Participation

Paris Cancels Their Very Popular Annual Bi-Sexual Ooh La La Parade Due To A Lack of Participation

PARIS, France - (Satire News) - The city of Paris is sad to report that they have had to cancel this year's Annual Bi-Sexual Ooh La La Parade. The parade was first started back in 1991, by two lesbionic sisters Francine and Fifi Daffodil. This…

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Funny story: Russia's Pride and Joy Aircraft Carrier The Mrs. Nikita Kruschev Finally Arrives Back In Russia

Russia's Pride and Joy Aircraft Carrier The Mrs. Nikita Kruschev Finally Arrives Back In Russia

MOSCOW - (Satire News) - The Kremlin Voice is reporting that Russia's biggest naval vessel The Mrs. Nikita Khrushchev has arrived back home. The state-of-the-art vessel was badly damaged, when it was hit with 14 torpedoes fired from the Ukrainian…

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Funny story: What Do You Mean By ‘Mental’ Illness, Congresswomen?

What Do You Mean By ‘Mental’ Illness, Congresswomen?

Rep. Debbie Lesko (R-AZ) said that she would rather shoot and kill her five grandchildren than give up her right to keep and bear arms. When her grandkids were reached for comment, the oldest said: “She said what? That bitch! Well, for next Christ…

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Funny story: President Putin Tells The Swiss Government That He Has Melted Their Submarine The Chocolate Wave

President Putin Tells The Swiss Government That He Has Melted Their Submarine The Chocolate Wave

MOSCOW - (Satire News) - President Putin texted the leader of Switzerland, Ignacio Cassis and told him that Russian welders had melted the captured submarine, The Chocolate Wave. Cassis texted him back telling him that he was extremely angry, as t…

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Funny story: Matt Gaetz Does Stand-Up Comedy

Matt Gaetz Does Stand-Up Comedy

Matt Gaetz doesn’t look like a thumb, he looks like a shoe. But I hate deriding a man for his looks when his personality is so odious. Matt tried a little stand-up comedy at the latest American Nazi party rally (or however they’ve re-branded thems…

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Funny story: Weather Experts Say That Global Warming Is Not Caused By El Nino, La Nina, or La Inamorata - They Put All of The Blame On Donald Trump

Weather Experts Say That Global Warming Is Not Caused By El Nino, La Nina, or La Inamorata - They Put All of The Blame On Donald Trump

HACKENSACK, New Jersey - (Satire News) - Climate Change Magazine has just revealed the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about Global Warming. Weather experts, such as climate scientists, environmental experts, and meteorological m…

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Funny story: Putin’s Pox’ll Knock Yer Sox Off

Putin’s Pox’ll Knock Yer Sox Off

Are you a shithead dictator who loves to stick your dick into any opening? Well, fella, there may be consequences. Mother Nature loves when people fuck anything that moves. Vlad Putin has been walking funny. Now some will say he’s just getting ol…

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Funny story: Canada Informs Ukraine That They Are Sending Them 2 Million Strips of Canadian Bacon

Canada Informs Ukraine That They Are Sending Them 2 Million Strips of Canadian Bacon

OTTAWA, Canada - (Satire News) - The Canadian government has just informed Ukraine that they have shipped 2 million strips of Canadian bacon to them via Delta Airlines. The bacon is from Quebec's Celine Dion Canadian Bacon Factory, and is consider…

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Funny story: The GOP Illustrated Magazine Names Donald Trump "The Sorriest Republican Ever!"

The GOP Illustrated Magazine Names Donald Trump "The Sorriest Republican Ever!"

NEW YORK CITY - (Magazine Satire) - It seems that with each new day, Donald Trump keeps getting his orange-colored ass kicked from each and every direction. His personality, or actually lack of, has been smashed by former friends, cabinet members,…

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Funny story: Satan Has Infiltrated PetSmart!

Satan Has Infiltrated PetSmart!

This just in: Satan, the Lord of Darkness and Ayatollah of Rock ‘N Rolla (No, that was the Lord Humongous!) has infiltrated the peace-loving PetSmart chain with its evil rainbow flags! Don’t they know the only rainbow comes from a God named either…

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Funny story: Trump Says He's Never Heard of The Proud Boys, The Oath Keepers, The Ku Klux Klan, or The Boy Scouts

Trump Says He's Never Heard of The Proud Boys, The Oath Keepers, The Ku Klux Klan, or The Boy Scouts

MANHATTAN - (Satire News) - The New York Sunshine Observer newspaper has just learned that after watching the Senate Condemnatory Hearing On The Evil Terrorist Assault On Jan.6, Don "The Has-Been" Trump insists that he has never heard of The Proud Bo…

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Funny story: The "Fixer Upper" Couple Chip and Joanna Gaines Now Own Over Half of Waco, Texas

The "Fixer Upper" Couple Chip and Joanna Gaines Now Own Over Half of Waco, Texas

WACO, Texas - (Satire News) - The very first design and renovation show to hit the airwaves in the US was "Fixer Upper." The show featured husband and wife Chip and Joanna Gaines of Waco Texas. Chip was a frustrated stand-up musician and Joanna…

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Funny story: The US Supreme Court Is Considering Banning Bows and Arrows

The US Supreme Court Is Considering Banning Bows and Arrows

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - An article that appeared in the magazine "SCOTUS Today & Tomorrow," states that due to the rising injuries in New Mexico and Arizona, The Supreme Court may vote to ban bows and arrows. Chief Justice John Robe…

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Funny story: A Freak Snowstorm Drops 27 Inches of Snow On Laredo, Texas

A Freak Snowstorm Drops 27 Inches of Snow On Laredo, Texas

LAREDO, Texas - (Satire News) - The average summer temperature in Laredo, Texas is 106. But thanks to the Canadian Yukon Express of 2022, the city on the US-Mexico border just saw 27 inches of snow fall on the town on the Rio Grande River. Lare…

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Funny story: Trump Is Now Insisting That Over 73,000 Citizens Living In Japan Illegally Voted For Joe Biden

Trump Is Now Insisting That Over 73,000 Citizens Living In Japan Illegally Voted For Joe Biden

BROOKLYN - (Satire News) - The biggest liar in the history of the United States, Donaldo Trump, now is spewing forth that he heard from a Japanese Geisha girl, that over 73,000 people in Japan voted for Joey Biden. The Trumptard said that he got t…

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Funny story: R. Kelly Is In Dire Crises

R. Kelly Is In Dire Crises

London Press: After R. Kelly was sentenced Wednesday to 30 years in prison, his lawyers filed an international human rights abuse case with the UN. They want to transfer Mr. Kelly to Bastoy prison in Norway. U.S. District Judge Anna Banana handed…

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Funny story: The GOPs Top Pussy Grabber - You Know His Name - Is So Depressed He Hasn't Eaten a Big Mac in 35 Minutes

The GOPs Top Pussy Grabber - You Know His Name - Is So Depressed He Hasn't Eaten a Big Mac in 35 Minutes

MAR-A-LAGO, Florida - (Satire News) - The Trumptard's goofy son (Eric) told GOPicky Magazine that his orange daddy is so damn depressed that he is talking about moving to Russia. Eric the Stupid, also remarked that his father is looking more and m…

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Funny story: Anheuser-Busch Has Just Developed Snack-Tasting Beer

Anheuser-Busch Has Just Developed Snack-Tasting Beer

ST. LOUIS - (Satire News) - The Anheuser-Busch Brewing Co. has just had it's chemists, brewmasters, and scientists devise a new type of beer-related product that will literally revolutionize the beer-consuming industry. Wanda Beth Stimmio, a spoke…

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Funny story: The Pedophiles For Trump Group Is Thinking About Disbanding

The Pedophiles For Trump Group Is Thinking About Disbanding

CHICKEN SALAD CREEK, Kentucky - (Satire News) - One of Donald Trump's most supportive groups, next to the Proud Boys, The Oath Keepers, The Sluttards For The Trumptard, and The Ku Klux Klan is thinking about possibly disbanding. Kentucky's Pedophi…

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Funny story: A 6-Foot-9-Inch Tall Kicker Signs With The Dallas Cowboys

A 6-Foot-9-Inch Tall Kicker Signs With The Dallas Cowboys

DALLAS - (Sports Satire) - Jerry Jones just spoke with Sports Bet Gazette writer Zorro La Bamba about his brand new addition to the Cowboys team. Jones told La Bamba that one of his scouts Woody Woolweather, found Ray Roy Hulaburger kicking for a…

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Funny story: Elon Musk Wins $47 Million In The Texas State Lottery

Elon Musk Wins $47 Million In The Texas State Lottery

AUSTIN - (Satire News) - One of the richest men in the world has just won $47 million in the latest edition of the Texas State Super Lone Star Lottery. Musk who has more money that Europe, Bill Gates, China, Oprah Winfrey, Venezuela, Tom Brady, an…

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Funny story: Increase In School Shootings Expected To Offset Unwanted Births From Abortion Ban, Study Shows

Increase In School Shootings Expected To Offset Unwanted Births From Abortion Ban, Study Shows

An academic research paper on the impact to population demographics found that an increase in unwanted births due to the Roe v Wade abortion ruling is expected to be offset by a parallel increase in deaths related to school shootings in the next 3 ye…

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Funny story: 75th annual sausage weigh man show

75th annual sausage weigh man show

Today in Balderdash marks the 75th annual Sausage weigh man show. The show begins at 9:00pm tonight and will have music by the country metal band the Fartknockers and comedy double act Tate n Lyle will also be performing in the "Fosters Liver" tent.

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Funny story: Barron Trump Hates His Father So Much He Wants To Legally Change His Last Name

Barron Trump Hates His Father So Much He Wants To Legally Change His Last Name

MANHATTAN, New York - (Satire News) - It is no secret that Melania Trump cannot stand her husband (Donaldo), but Cinderella St. Lamb, a reporter with The Daily Drama News Agency, has just revealed that Trump's youngest son, Barron who is 15, has alre…

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Funny story: Federal Investigations Have Found That Trump Personally Chose 2,803,708 FAKE Electors

Federal Investigations Have Found That Trump Personally Chose 2,803,708 FAKE Electors

WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - US investigators have uncovered a huge, huge, really huge Trump fake elector scam. It appears that old "Orange Penis" (aka Trump) in a desperate act of trying to steal the election that was clearly won by Joe Bid…

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Funny story: If Evangelicals were truly honest . . .

If Evangelicals were truly honest . . .

Corinthians 13:4-8 (from the DJTV) 4 Trump is not patient, Trump is not kind. He envies everyone, he boasts like a drunken soldier, he is proud. 5 He dishonors others, he is self-seeking, he is easily angered, he keeps a long record of wrongs. 6 T…

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Funny story: Ivanka Trump Throws Her Hat, or Rather Her Two-Piece Bikini Swimsuit Into The New York City Mayoral Race

Ivanka Trump Throws Her Hat, or Rather Her Two-Piece Bikini Swimsuit Into The New York City Mayoral Race

NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The estranged daughter of the "Evil Trumpturd," Ivanka Trump, has just announced that she will be running for mayor of New York City on the Democratic ticket. Yes, you read it right, the 40-year-old, who was cut out…

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Funny story: Guns ‘R Fun!

Guns ‘R Fun!

Thank you, America, for teaching the world that guns are fun. A madman in Copenhagen, Denmark – the happiest place on Earth (Disneyland does NOT have a copyright on happiness) has now taken his gun into a shopping mall and killed some people. Just…

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Funny story: Drug Junk Food Coming Soon to Make Life Worthwhile Again

Drug Junk Food Coming Soon to Make Life Worthwhile Again

Since Elon Musk joked about buying Coca-Cola and returning it to the original recipe using cocaine, serious investors and inventors have been giving consideration to other food and drinks consumed by billions of people every day. Try the new Meth…

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Funny story: Clint Eastwood Says If He Ever Sees Trump In Person He'll Kick The Anti-American SOB In His Pussy-Grabbing Balls

Clint Eastwood Says If He Ever Sees Trump In Person He'll Kick The Anti-American SOB In His Pussy-Grabbing Balls

HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - The man who became famous as Roddy Yates, the ramrod on the 50's TV western "Rawhide" told Tittle Tattle Tonight reporter Pico de Gallo that if he ever sees Trump on the street, he is going to kick the motherfucking racist…

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Funny story: A Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus Clown Is Fired When It's Learned He's An Ex-Guatemalan Drug Cartel Hitman

A Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus Clown Is Fired When It's Learned He's An Ex-Guatemalan Drug Cartel Hitman

NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - In one of the most unusual stories to come down the Pike, BuzzFuzz is reporting that a very popular clown who has been with the Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus for 9 years has just been let go. Ike Rack…

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Funny story: Trump Recently Said That Kim Jong-un Is One Dumb, Stupid, Fat Ass Tub of Lard (Pot/Kettle)

Trump Recently Said That Kim Jong-un Is One Dumb, Stupid, Fat Ass Tub of Lard (Pot/Kettle)

ALLIGATOR NUTS, Florida - (Satire News) - If there is one thing that can be said about Trump, it's that the Big Mac-eating asshole is one arrogantly, sarcastic pussy grabber. Ivanka's evil-as-shit father, recently told one of his FEW remaining fri…

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Funny story: Pizza Hut Has Just Introduced Their Limited Donald Trump Hamalicious Pizzalooza Pizza Which Consists of 97% Ham

Pizza Hut Has Just Introduced Their Limited Donald Trump Hamalicious Pizzalooza Pizza Which Consists of 97% Ham

PLANO, Texas - (Satire News) - Word from Pizza Hut headquarters is that the pizza giant has just introduced their Donald Trump Hamalicious Pizzalooza Pizza, which consists of 3% cheese and 97% ham. A spokesperson for the pizza corporation said tha…

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