There were 395 spoof news stories published in July 2022. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Naked Photos of Kimberly Guilfoyle Are Found In a San Francisco Bank Safety Deposit Box
SAN FRANCISCO - (Satire News) - One of the country's most well-known political leeches is Kimberly Guilfoyle. The 53-year-old Guilfoyle was once married to the governor of California, Gavin Newsom, and after her divorce from Newsom, she dated two…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene Talks About The Initials She Had Tattooed On Her Hooha
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Comedian Zydeco Dupree recently said that there are three things that Marjorie Taylor Greene is not shy about, (1) It's her dozens of extremely well-documented coital couplings with lots of well-known men. (2) Her v…
Read full storyLeBron James Has Been Giving Melania Trump's Son Barron, Basketball Lessons
NEW YORK CITY - (Sports Satire) - One of the greatest NBA players to ever dribble a basketball has been giving Barron Trump, some fundamental basketball lessons. James spoke with his good friend Sports Bet Gazette writer Zorro La Bamba, and he wan…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene And President Biden Have Become Sexting Buddies
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Many of us recall Laurel & Hardy, Abbott & Costello, Lennon & McCartney, and Donald & Stormy. Boom Boom News writer Hacienda Fiddle has just broken the story of a brand new sexting duet..."Biden &…
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth Falls Off Her Horse During A Fox Hunt
LONDON - (Satire News) - BuzzFuzz (UK) is reporting that Queen Elizabeth took a royally horrendous fall as she was on her monthly fox hunt near Windsor Castle. Prince Charles, who was with his mum, said that her majesty's horse, "Buffy," got spook…
Read full storyPenny Mordaunt Takin’ It Off!
A source close to Penny Mordaunt has stated that if Penny doesn’t win the Conservative race and become the next shamed and Benny Hill-ed PM, she will start modeling. First bathing suits. Then lingerie. Then … ? (Tasteful nudes?) If you are a pr…
Read full storySexy Tweets From The Mouth of Marjorie Taylor Greene
BALTIMORE - (Satire Tweets) - Marjorie Taylor Greene says that if her hooha could talk everyone, especially old, blue-haired GOP women, would be shocked as to what utterances would come out of her sexy, sweet beaver (muffin). MTG says that she lea…
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth Will Travel To Barcelona, Spain To See About Purchasing a 500-Year-Old Moorish Castle
LONDON - (Satire News) - Queen Elizabeth, 96, will be traveling on Royalty 1, the queen's personal 747 jet to visit Barcelona, Spain. She will be accompanied by her son Prince Charles, her best friend Piers Morgan, Len Goodman, and eight Buckingha…
Read full storyThe BBC Is Reporting That Their Is a Growing Groundswell To Pick Cheryl Cole To Be The Next British Prime Minister
LONDON - (Satire News) - Word coming from the BBC is that now that PM Boris Johnson is on his way out the 10 Downing St. door, suggestions and opinions as to who should replace him are falling from the foggy English sky. Names that have been tosse…
Read full storyA Sexy-Looking Nevada Newlywed Bride Slips On a Discarded Poker Chip
LAS VEGAS - (Satire News) - Triana Seacastle, 28, totally planned every aspect of her wedding ceremony to Gregory Nipwater. She took care of planning the entire ceremony from hiring the caterers, to booking the band, to contracting the charcoal dr…
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth To Raffle Off Her Lampshade Hat To Aid Ukraine
LONDON - (United Kingdom Satire) - Queen Elizabeth has agreed to her good friend Piers Morgan's suggestion that she take one of her over 4,700 hats and raffle it off in order to raise money for Ukraine. Queen Elizabeth praised Morgan and informed…
Read full storyThe Sexy Women of Duck Dynasty Will Be Putting Out a New Nude Calendar For 2024
WEST MONROE, Louisiana - (Satire News) - The sexy women of the bayou's of Louisiana TV Show "Duck Dynasty" have agreed to put out a second nude calendar in the name of charity. The ladies of the bearded "Bubba's" first appeared in a nude calendar…
Read full storyThe Out-of-Control Wildfires In Great Britain Are Now Threatening To Destroy Windsor Castle
WINDSOR, England - (Satire News) - The huge wildfires that have scorched the English countryside are now threatening to destroy the 11th century Windsor Castle. Windsor Castle was originally built by The Silas F. Smillinberger Castle Constructing…
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth Has Just Sold Her Extremely Expensive 2022 Lamborghini Murcielago Deluxe
LONDON - (Satire News) - A source inside Buckingham Palace has just announced that her majesty, Queen Elizabeth, has just sold her 2022 Lamborghini Murcielago Deluxe, which was only one of 17 that were manufactured. She reportedly sold her extreme…
Read full storyPrince Charles Will Fly To Moscow And Meet With Russian President Vladimir Putin
LONDON - (Satire News) - Buckingham Palace has just informed the British public that Charles, the Prince of Wales, will be traveling to Russia. The prince will meet with Vladimir Nikita Putin, in the newly-remodeled Commemorative Mrs. Joseph Stali…
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth Has Just Adopted a Rescue Fox Hunt Hound
LONDON - (Satire News) - Queen Elizabeth figures that throughout her more than nine decades on earth, she has probably had over 400 pets; including dogs, cats, hamsters, canaries, goldfish, gerbils, turtles, horses, goats, and an aardvark. But acc…
Read full storyJapan is Sending Godzilla to Ukraine
In a great leap forward of advanced molecular cellular biology, nano-technology, and just some good old fashioned voodoo, Japanese scientists have now created an authentic giant lizard out of a normal-sized lizard. Godzilla has been born again!…
Read full storyWyoming Livestock Scientists Develop a Goat That Tastes Just Like Chicken
CHEYENNE, Wyoming - (Satire News) - Scientists and chemists with the Wyoming State Dept. of Animal Husbandry (WDDAH) have just announced that they have just developed a goat that tastes exactly like Kentucky Fried Chicken. The discovery was made a…
Read full storyThe Boston Evening Moon Newspaper Has Just Learned That Marjorie Taylor Greene Worked As a Pole Dancer While Attending College
BOSTON - (Satire News) - Marjorie Taylor Greene is strongly denying that during her days at the University of Georgia, where she majored in Ballroom Dancing and minored in Danish Porn, that she worked part-time as a pole dancer. She told a reporte…
Read full storyPrince Charles To Visit England's Fighting Troops In Ukraine
LONDON - (UK Satire) - London's Tickety Boo News is reporting that Prince Charles has been asked by PM Boris Johnson to visit war-torn Ukraine. Chas, as Simon Cowell calls him, is politicking to possibly replace PM Johnson. There are several qu…
Read full storyParts of The Kalahari Desert Are Under Two Feet of Water
THE KALAHARI DESERT, South Africa - (Satire News) - If anyone thought that The Trumpapalooza Global Warming and Global Flooding were both a hoax, then they have just been given a damn good sound education on the ways of the wild world we all live in.
Read full storyTrump Recently Said That Kim Jong-un Is One Dumb, Stupid, Fat Ass Tub of Lard (Pot/Kettle)
ALLIGATOR NUTS, Florida - (Satire News) - If there is one thing that can be said about Trump, it's that the Big Mac-eating asshole is one arrogantly, sarcastic pussy grabber. Ivanka's evil-as-shit father, recently told one of his FEW remaining fri…
Read full storyKim Kardashian Says That The Bruthas Will Pay Trump Back For All of His Pussy Grabbing
HOLLYWOOD - (Satire News) - Hollywood celebrity Kim Kardashian, who is head-over-heels in love with Pete Davidson of "Saturday Night Live," says that she can't wait for Lard Belly Trump to become an inmate at Sing Sing Prison. She is so excited ab…
Read full storyElon Musk Wins $47 Million In The Texas State Lottery
AUSTIN - (Satire News) - One of the richest men in the world has just won $47 million in the latest edition of the Texas State Super Lone Star Lottery. Musk who has more money that Europe, Bill Gates, China, Oprah Winfrey, Venezuela, Tom Brady, an…
Read full storyThe San Antonio Spurs Sign Norway's 19-Year-Old High-Flying, Slam-Dunking Sensation Ingrid Cervinger
SAN ANTONIO, Texas - (Sports Satire) - San Antonio Spurs Coach Gregg Popovich is excited that the Spurs have signed the 19-year-old high-flying, slam-dunking Norwegian sensation, Ingrid Cervinger. The young lady who can literally fly like Superwom…
Read full story14 More Russian Generals Defect
MOSCOW - (Satire News) - The Kremlin Voice has just informed the people of Russia that 14 more top Russian generals have defected. The DV said that the top officers are now in Poland, where they are being treated as heroes by the Polish people.
Read full storyA Freak Fire In The New England Patriots Locker Room Destroys 37 Footballs Along With 63 Jock Straps
FOXBOROUGH, Massachusetts - (Sports Satire) - A fire of unknown origin started in the Patriots locker room and quickly spread to the equipment closet. A Patriots custodian Otto Tox, 78, said that as he was eating his lunch in the outdoor picnic ar…
Read full storyPrince Charles Says That He Loves To Watch The Dallas Cowboys and Their Sexy Cheerleaders
LONDON - (Sports Satire) - Prince Charles recently told Piers Morgan that he actually prefers to watch a Dallas Cowboys game than a Manchester United Red Devils game. Chas, as the Duchess of York (Sarah Ferguson) prefers to call him, noted that he…
Read full storyNASCAR Driver Toby Tarbinski Is Suspended For Two Weeks For Using Illegal Windshield Wiper Fluid
CHARLOTTE, North Carolina - (Sports Satire) - NASCAR regrets having to suspend one of their drivers for a violation regarding windshield wiper fluid, A rep for NASCAR stated to Sports Territory Magazine's Tango Brisket, that after an extensive inv…
Read full storyJosh Hawley Is The Biggest Scaredy Cat Pussy In America
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Josh Hawley has just been named The Biggest Pussy in Washington D.C. Vice President Kamala Harris said that the junior limp-wristed senator from Missouri appears to have some of "Cheeto Face" Trump's wimpish DNA…
Read full storyBezos-Musk Inc., Plans To Develop A Spaceship That Can Carry 900 Passengers and 200 Animals
AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - The largest corporation in the entire world, Bezos-Musk Inc., which is bigger than Coca Cola, Ford Motors, Exxon-Mobil, McDonalds, and Paul Bunyan Brand Condoms combined, is in the early planning stages of developing a…
Read full storyPutin’s Pox’ll Knock Yer Sox Off
Are you a shithead dictator who loves to stick your dick into any opening? Well, fella, there may be consequences. Mother Nature loves when people fuck anything that moves. Vlad Putin has been walking funny. Now some will say he’s just getting ol…
Read full storyTed "Eddie Munster" Cruz Says That The Hundreds of Daily Death Threats Don't Scare His RINO Ass One Damn Bit!
WAXAHACHIE, Texas - (Satire News) - Ted Cruz who says he was born in Canada, but his 'real' birth certificate shows that he was born in Pudding de Platano, Guatemala, told a reporter with Hearsay Today that he is getting over 800 death threats a day,…
Read full storyDuring The Height of World War II British Prime Minister Winston Churchill Was Smoking 19, Twelve-Inch Long Cigars a Day
LONDON - (Satire News) -The United Kingdom Cigar Guild has revealed that the biggest British cigar smoker of all time was World War II Prime Minister Sir Winston Leonard Spencer McCoy Churchill. At the height of the war Sir Winston was smoking 19,…
Read full storyManchester United Has Signed Chicharito's Amazing 16-Year-Old Cousin Chicharonsito
MANCHESTER, England - (Satire News) - The Mancunians of Manchester are thrilled as their Red Devils team has just signed one of Mexico's best football players. The striker named Antonio Mercurio Balcazar, is only 16, and he is already regarded as…
Read full storyNASA's New $10.3 Billion Space Telescope Is Astoundingly Astounding!
HOUSTON, Texas - (Satire News) - Spaced Out Weekly Magazine reports that everyone at NASA is very excited at the sucess that the Bill Nelson Space Telescope is having. Space experts state that the $10.3 billion infrared space observation telescope…
Read full storySarah Ferguson, The Duchess of York, Has Sold Her Windsor Estates Castle
WINDSOR ESTATES, England - (Satire News) - One of England's most famous redheads, Sarah Ferguson, has decided that the time has come for her to sell her huge English castle. The Duchess of York told Tickety Boo News reporter Brompton Boxgrove, tha…
Read full storyA Fantastic Rugby Player Who Plays For The Great Britain National Rugby Team Has Been Signed By The Dallas Cowboys
DALLAS, Texas - (Sports Satire) - The Sports Bet Gazette is reporting that one of the greatest players to ever play for the Great Britain National Rugby Team, has just been signed by the world-famous Dallas Cowboys. Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has s…
Read full storyStephen Curry of The World Champion Golden State Warriors Buys His 3-Year-Old a Clear Mouthpiece Just Like The One He Uses
SAN FRANCISCO - (Satire News) - The NBA world champion Golden State Warriors are happy to report that their super star MVP player has decided to pass up the fabulous offer that was offered to him by the owner of The Boston Celtics. Curry told Sher…
Read full story'Putin's Death Heads' - Big New Band in Russia...
Putin has the older Russians in his pocket, as he controls all the TV station and other media - and they hear of Ukrainian Atrocities, day and night. Now he wants the younger Russians - so younger KGB agents, just learning the ropes - have forme…
Read full storyJosh Hawley: “I Only Ran From the Capitol Riot Because My Daughters Wanted to Go to Cancun”
Washington - Missouri Senator and all-around douchebag Josh Hawley claimed that he ran like a scared rabbit from the January 6th Capitol rioters he had only a few hours earlier given a fist salute because he was “running late to catch a flight to Can…
Read full storyThe Royal Fog Research Group Finds That The English Actually Drink More Tea Than All of The World's Countries Combined
LONDON - (Satire News) - Buckingham Palace has just learned that the United Kingdom's research agency, The Royal Fog Research Group, has just conducted a survey of all of England's 27 counties. The group surveyed over 800,000 Britons, and they fou…
Read full storyWeather Experts Say That Global Warming Is Not Caused By El Nino, La Nina, or La Inamorata - They Put All of The Blame On Donald Trump
HACKENSACK, New Jersey - (Satire News) - Climate Change Magazine has just revealed the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about Global Warming. Weather experts, such as climate scientists, environmental experts, and meteorological m…
Read full storyPresident Biden Says That Colin Kaepernick Is The Best Sports Advisor In The History of The United States
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Biden called up former San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick, and thanked him for accepting the federal position of national sports advisor. POTUS said that he went out of his way to see that…
Read full storyThe Loch Ness Monster and the Future of War
A recent dig in Morocco has uncovered plesiosaurs that were able to exist in fresh water, not just salt. This has given speculation that the Loch Ness monster could have been real this whole time. A top secret Scottish marine biologists (hasn’t…
Read full storyAre You A Trump Monkey?
The Jan 6 committee is closing in, and Trump supporters are getting scared. They want to distance themselves from the Evil One. Ivanka says she supported what Bill Blair said about the election NOT being stolen. Even Melania is saying she was taki…
Read full storyMarjorie Taylor Greene Announces That She Will Be Entering The GOP Presidential Race
BALTIMORE - (Satire News) - Marjorie Taylor Greene has just shocked the hell out of a lot of people; including former boyfriends Matt Gatez, Jim Jordan, Rudy Giuliani, and Donald Trump. The vulgar, potty-mouthed MTG, told a reporter with The Ipso…
Read full storyThe Texas Senate Moves To Move The Average Summer Temperature In Texas From 98.6 Degrees To 103 Degrees
AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - The state senate of Texas has decided to make changes to state booklets on tourism. By a vote of 61 to 19, with 20 abstintations, the senate will have the state printing company show in the Texas tourism brochures t…
Read full storyDozens of Wildfires Spread Out of Control All Over London!
LONDON - (Satire News) - One longtime resident of London, Reginald F. McPatio, 67, said that he has never seen so much damn fire and so much damn smoke in his entire life. He noted that watching the out-of-control English fires on the telly, was l…
Read full storyPlace Yer Bets - Where will the next Mass Shooting be?
Vegas is taking odds. And now more betting establishments around the world want in on the action. Many people have stopped caring about America and its religious fanaticism of guns. From one law (the Second Amendment – this came second? After all…
Read full storyThe Government of Scotland Tells Trump To Never Again Set Foot In Their Nice, Lovely, Anti-Racist Country
EDINBURGH, Scotland - (Satire News) - The beautifully delightful country of Scotland, which has been described as peaceful, romantic, beautifully green, celtic, and poetic has made it known that the lying likes of one Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump ar…
Read full storyNancy’s Comin’ In Hot!
Nancy Pelosi hopped on the redeye to Taiwan, and this has made China very upset. Who knew the Great Worker’s Fascist Paradise could be taken down by a gal named Nancy?! Will Pelosi topple the regime when she steps off the heavily-protected plan…
Read full storyHotlanta (aka Atlanta) Is Hot as Hell as The Thermometer Hits 114!!!
HOTLANTA, Georgia - (Satire News) - Well the Dixie city known as "Hotlanta" has truly lived up to it's name. Weathermen and weatherwomen in the Georgia state report that due to the Trumpapalooza Heat Wave, the thermometer hit 114 degrees! It wa…
Read full storyPGA Challenges Hypocrites Who joined LIV Golf Tour
BILLINGSGATE POST: With a number of famous professional golfers, including Phil Mickelson, Dustin Johnson, Brooks Koepka and Bryson DeChambeau, jumping from the PGA Tour to the LIV Tour, some bad blood is developing between the members of the two g…
Read full storyPresident Biden Fines Trump $29 Million For Causing The Trumpapalooza Heat Wave
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - VP Harris met with President Trump and the two have decided that the heat wave that is gripping the nation is truly one horrendously mothereffen satanic occurrence. The National Rumblings News Agency reports that…
Read full storyA 77-Year-Old Great Grandmother Swims From New York City To Portsmouth, England Backwards
NEW YORK CITY - (Sports Satire) - A great grandmother from Hoboken, New Jersey, has accomplished a truly amazing feat. 77-year-old Myrtle Waterhickory swam from the New York City Harbor to the Portsmouth, England harbor; and she did it backwards.
Read full storyTrump's Dead Wife Ivana Becomes a Huge Tax Break - By Being Buried at His Golf Course
Donald Trump recently buried his first wife, Ivana, at the National Golf Club in NJ. The 465-acre, 38-hole golf club is now a cemetery and is exempt from all sales and income taxes and any other taxes. Thinking ahead, Trump, either spent cash…
Read full storyVladimir Putin Has Told Every Priest and Every Nun To Leave Russia Within 24-Hours or Else
MOSCOW, Russia - (Satire News) - Russia's vile, vulgar, creep leader is getting weirder by the hour. The Kremlin Voice reported that Vladimir Nikita Putin, has stated that he wants all Catholic priests and nums to leave Russia within 24 hours.
Read full storySomeone Has Stolen Two of The Three Books That Were In The Trump Library
BROOKLYN - (Satire News) - The Brooklyn Police Dept. is reporting that overnight someone broke into the Trump Library and stole two of the three books that were housed in the library. The Trump Library librarian, Henrietta F. Nux, 91, told the inv…
Read full storyBarron Trump Hates His Father So Much He Wants To Legally Change His Last Name
MANHATTAN, New York - (Satire News) - It is no secret that Melania Trump cannot stand her husband (Donaldo), but Cinderella St. Lamb, a reporter with The Daily Drama News Agency, has just revealed that Trump's youngest son, Barron who is 15, has alre…
Read full storyThe World Federation Alliance Has Just Fined Russia (And Putin) $71.8 Million For Illegally Invading Ukraine
HAMBURG, Germany - (Satire News) - After extensive consideration the World Federation Alliance has decided to issue a $71.8 million fine against Vladimir Putin and the Russian nation. The fine is for Putin's blatant act of Acto Aggresatorio Muchis…
Read full storySupreme Court Chief Justice Brett "The Dictator" Kavanaugh Is Pelted With Chicken McNuggets At a Bronx Mickey D's
THE BRONX, New York - (Satire News) - Tabloid Today has just shown a video of Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh getting his black robed ass pelted with dozens and dozens of Chicken McNuggets at a Mickey D's in the Bronx. The SCOTUS member had…
Read full storyIf Evangelicals were truly honest . . .
Corinthians 13:4-8 (from the DJTV) 4 Trump is not patient, Trump is not kind. He envies everyone, he boasts like a drunken soldier, he is proud. 5 He dishonors others, he is self-seeking, he is easily angered, he keeps a long record of wrongs. 6 T…
Read full storySwitzerland Is Totally Engulfed In The Out-of-Control Trumpapalooza Heat Wave!
BERN, Switzerland - (Satire News) - A spokesperson for the Swiss government has informed the news media that record-breaking temperatures are being recorded all over "The Land of Chocolate." The capital city of Bern recently set an all-time record…
Read full storyA Freak Snowstorm Drops 27 Inches of Snow On Laredo, Texas
LAREDO, Texas - (Satire News) - The average summer temperature in Laredo, Texas is 106. But thanks to the Canadian Yukon Express of 2022, the city on the US-Mexico border just saw 27 inches of snow fall on the town on the Rio Grande River. Lare…
Read full storySwitzerland Is Sending 7 Soldiers And a Cook To Ukraine
BERN, Switzerland - (Satire News) - President Ignazio Daniele Giovanni Cassis of Switzerland, has just informed the Swiss people that he is responding to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy asking the countries of the world for help. President…
Read full storyDonald Trump Swears That He Does Not Have a Tattoo On His Ass With Stormy Daniels Name - Melania Says He's a Lying Sack of Shit!
PENSACOLA, Florida - (Satire News) - Donald Trump recently played two rounds of golf, with three men who did not want to be identified. BuzzFuzz learned that the three men were Greg Gutfeld, Scott Baio, and Clint Eastwood. At the 19th hole, DJT…
Read full storyThe IRS Says Trump Owes $7.6 Billion In Back Taxes
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - A top national news agency has uncovered an IRS story about Trump, in which it is alleged that he owes Uncle Sam $7.6 billion in unpaid taxes. Tapioca Swizzle with The Vox Populi News Agency stumbled upon the Tru…
Read full storyPresident Biden Is Looking Into Having The Right Wing Leaning Supreme Court Scrapped
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - President Biden has stated that he is sick and tired of The Supreme Court acting like it is the fucking law of the land. He noted that 89.3% of the American people would like to see SCOTUS scrapped and replaced w…
Read full storyHe Said-Xi Said: Biden And Xi Jinping Differ On Joe’s Forklift Sex Caper
BILLINGSGATE POST: Did Vice-President Biden have sex with 3 Chinese hookers while driving a forklift down an alley in the Dongcheng District of Beijing during a diplomatic visit in 2013? At the time, it seemed mildly noteworthy, but not particul…
Read full storyA Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus Clown Is Fired When It's Learned He's An Ex-Guatemalan Drug Cartel Hitman
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - In one of the most unusual stories to come down the Pike, BuzzFuzz is reporting that a very popular clown who has been with the Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus for 9 years has just been let go. Ike Rack…
Read full storyBezos-Musk Inc., Has Just Filed a $12.7 Billion Class Action Lawsuit Against Donald Trump
AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - The world's largest company Bezos-Musk Inc., which is headquartered deep in the heart of Texas, has just filed a $12.7 billion class action lawsuit against Donald "Lard Butt" Trump. Bezos-Musk, Inc., is represented…
Read full storyTrump's Doctor Says He Definitely Has Fibbafucism
DETROIT - (Satire News) - The former Golfer-in-Chief flew to Detroit on TransCountry Airlines, to see a specialist who deals in advanced stages of Fibbafucism. Merriman Webster defines Fibbafucism as the end result of an individual constantly lyin…
Read full storyThe San Antonio Spurs Have Signed The High-Flying Slam-Dunking Female Norwegian Sensation
SAN ANTONIO - (Satire News) - Spurs Coach Gregg Popovich says he has not been as excited about signing a player since he signed the great superstar Tim Duncan in 1997. Coach Pop, told Zorro La Bamba with The Sports Bet Gazette that not only is Nor…
Read full storyGod Comes Out as Transgender
The religious community has been in a state of uproar since the news this week that God has come out as transgender. We should clarify that we are referring to Yahweh/Jehovah, the God of the Israelites, as portrayed in the old and New Testaments, and…
Read full storyA School of Sperm Whales Nearly Sinks Cambodia's Aircraft Carrier The Bamboo Stick
SOMEWHERE ON THE BLACK SEA - (Satire News) - The pride and joy of the Cambodian navy, the aircraft carrier, The Bamboo Stick, was nearly sunk after it was severely rammed by a school of five huge sperm whales while on the Black Sea. A spokesperson…
Read full storyLittle NRAers Practice Their Shooting Skills By Blasting Away At Woodpeckers
BEAVER BELLY, Mississippi - (Satire News) - There is no group anywhere in the United States who allows kids as young as four-years-old to be be members; not the Optimist club, or the Kiwanis club, or the Knights of Columbus or even the Ku Klux Klan.
Read full storyPrince William and Prince Harry Are Still At Each Other's Throats - Grandmama Elizabeth Is Fit To Be Tied
LONDON - (Satire News) - The two royal brothers, who are also Queen Elizabeth's grandsons, are still fussing, feuding, and fuzzing, as if they are the English version of West Virginia's The Hatfields and The McCoys. Prince William and Prince Harry…
Read full storyAlabama's Claude "Bubba" Smick Family Reunion Was Naturally NRA-Theme Oriented
DUCK DUNG, Alabama - (Satire News) - The Claude "Bubba" Smick family recently had their annual family reunion at Claude's little 3-acre farm, Redneck Acres. The yearly family get-together was quite nice, with lots of taters, baloney, okra, corn-on…
Read full storyChina Recalls 3 Million Fortune Cookies Because They Had X-Rated Fortunes
HONG KONG, China - (Satire News) - Word filtering out of the republic of China is that President Xi Jinping is fit to be tied. The leader of the most populous country in the universe has just learned that 3 million fortune cookies are being recall…
Read full storyBezos-Musk, Inc. Is In The Process of Trying To Buy Iceland
AUSTIN, Texas - (Satire News) - The largest corporation in the entire solar system has just announced that they are seriously looking into purchasing Iceland. Jeff Bezos, who owns 50% of Bezos-Musk Inc., told a reporter for iNews (Iceland), that h…
Read full storyLondon's The Daily Mail Has Been Purchased By The World’s Largest Corporation Bezos-Musk Inc.
LONDON – (Satire News) – Piers Morgan is reporting that Britain’s mid-market newspaper, The Daily Mail, has just been purchased by the biggest corporation in the entire world Bezos-Musk Inc. Jeff Bezos said that they will be changing the name of t…
Read full storyA Group of Ukrainian Naval Freedom Fighters Have Captured Russia's Top Naval Officer, Admiral Svetlana Svetvinski
ON THE WATERS OF THE BLACK SEA - (Satire News) - The Ukrainian government has just made it known that a group of Ukrainian naval fighters report that they have captured Russia's top naval officer, Admiral Svetlana Svetvinksi. The admiral was aboar…
Read full storyA United States F-14 Tomcat Jet Shoots Down a Russian Drone That Had Entered San Francisco Air Space
SAN FRANCISCO - (Satire News) - The White House has just issued a bulletin stating that an X-67D Russian drone, that had entered San Francisco airspace was shot down by a US Air Force F-14 Tomcat. The drone fell to earth in Chinatown in at least 4…
Read full storyCanada Informs Ukraine That They Are Sending Them 2 Million Strips of Canadian Bacon
OTTAWA, Canada - (Satire News) - The Canadian government has just informed Ukraine that they have shipped 2 million strips of Canadian bacon to them via Delta Airlines. The bacon is from Quebec's Celine Dion Canadian Bacon Factory, and is consider…
Read full storyCoronavirus Surge 3,523 - Omicron B5-A #533 is now Hot In America Says Epidemiologist
Dr. Strangeheart of the Chromosome Institute says there is a hot new variant of the Coronavirus, Omicron BA - 5, Sub - Sub - Sub - Variant - just in from Hong Kong via Mao Airlines. They are calling it the Trumphead Virus as the Spikes stick out…
Read full storyWhores In Brooklyn Are Taking Food Stamps In Lieu of Money
BROOKLYN - (Satire News) - The Brooklyn Police Dept. has just learned from an undercover female officer, that prostitutes working the streets of Brooklyn, are so desperate that they are accepting food stamps in lieu of good old US greenbacks. One…
Read full storyLeBron James Says That When He Retires From The NBA He's Going To Run For Governor of Ohio
CLEVELAND, Ohio - (Satire News) - One of the greatest players to ever bounce an NBA basketball, has just informed the news media, that after his playing days are over, he plans to enter the wild, wild world of politics. LeBron James who has played…
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth Finally Reveals What Trump Overdosed On When He Visited England In June of 2019
LONDON - (Satire News) - Her majesty, the queen, has finally revealed exactly what Donald Jonathan Erasmus Trump overdosed on during his visit to Britain three years ago. "Oh my word, as I recall, Mr. Trump, and I do use the term Mr. extremely loo…
Read full storyBritish Corporations Glad Brexit is Gone - Profits Way Up - Thanks Boris
Boris Johnson will always be remembered as the enforcer of Brexit, the legal change that destroyed Britain's economy for the small business owners. His legacy is that of being a Destroyer - when he was not acting the Clown. But all the huge…
Read full storySpain Has A New Ad Campaign - 'All Bodies Are Beach Bodies' - The Model Weighs About 380lbs
Spain has a new ad campaign to bring British people to Spanish beaches. The main model, sort of taking up the whole ad, is a pretty - faced Spanish girl with a very largish body, in a pink and black bikini. Her buttocks are the size of a Br…
Read full storyThe Reason Why Putin Has Threatened To Invade Belgium
MOSCOW - (Satire News) - Japan's national news agency, Saki News has just broken the story that Putin is getting ready to unleash his communist might on the tiny European country of Belgium. And according to Belgium's local press the reason is sim…
Read full storyParis Cancels Their Very Popular Annual Bi-Sexual Ooh La La Parade Due To A Lack of Participation
PARIS, France - (Satire News) - The city of Paris is sad to report that they have had to cancel this year's Annual Bi-Sexual Ooh La La Parade. The parade was first started back in 1991, by two lesbionic sisters Francine and Fifi Daffodil. This…
Read full storyWhy Won’t Anyone Help Those Poor Cocaine Dealers?
Mar-A-Lago insiders have whispered into this reporter’s ear the real reason why Mexico has rounded up a couple of major cocaine cartel Capos. Like Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzmán, who was tried in New York. Why there? Isn’t that where someone sometimes liv…
Read full storyMaldives to be the First Fake Country
The Republic of Maldives will be the first to sink, according to climate experts, since the islands are already so low to the water. Despite many right-wing experts, climate change has already raised sea levels and scared the shit out of residents of…
Read full storyA Kansas Farmer Teaches His Rooster To Crow The Star-Spangled Banner
WIZARD OF OZ, Kansas - (Satire News) - Kansas farmer, Oleander F. Window, 58, says that he has been raising egg-laying hens for over 37 years. He pointed out that he has seen lots of unusual things, from a Rhode Island Red hen that will lay seven…
Read full storyThe Washington Globe-Express Names Marjorie Taylor Greene The Horniest Woman In D.C.
WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Marjorie Taylor Greene is extremely excited at having just received the honor of being named "The Horniest Woman In Washington, D.C." by The Washington Globe-Express newspaper editorial staff. MTG has the reputat…
Read full storyA 6-Foot-9-Inch Tall Kicker Signs With The Dallas Cowboys
DALLAS - (Sports Satire) - Jerry Jones just spoke with Sports Bet Gazette writer Zorro La Bamba about his brand new addition to the Cowboys team. Jones told La Bamba that one of his scouts Woody Woolweather, found Ray Roy Hulaburger kicking for a…
Read full storyPutin Finds Difficulties With ‘DeNazifying’ Ukraine - Russian Soldiers Are Shooting Themselves.
Dictator For Life Putin is facing a great conundrum with his ‘DeNazification’ of Ukraine- Russian soldiers are shooting themselves and their comrades out of confusion. They have been brainwashed into beleiving that the people of Ukraine are still und…
Read full storyIvanka Trump Throws Her Hat, or Rather Her Two-Piece Bikini Swimsuit Into The New York City Mayoral Race
NEW YORK CITY - (Satire News) - The estranged daughter of the "Evil Trumpturd," Ivanka Trump, has just announced that she will be running for mayor of New York City on the Democratic ticket. Yes, you read it right, the 40-year-old, who was cut out…
Read full storyA Sexy NFL Cheerleader Is Fired After It's Learned That She Is Dating A Drug Cartel Hitman
SECRET CITY, USA - (Sports Satire) - The NFL tired to keep this story under wraps but Hercules Confetti, a writer with The Turnstile Review, broke the story about a football cheerleader who has been dating a hitman with an infamous Guatemalan drug ca…
Read full story