In a great leap forward of advanced molecular cellular biology, nano-technology, and just some good old fashioned voodoo, Japanese scientists have now created an authentic giant lizard out of a normal-sized lizard.
Godzilla has been born again!
But unlike most experimental science, something has gone horribly, horribly wrong!
Once the small lizard was injected with the magic serum, it began to grown so large and so quickly that it escaped the lab in Hokkaido and is now on its way walking beneath the waves of the Sea of Japan – headed for Russia!
The scientist in charge of the experimental genetic manipulation, Iso Wannabetta, has stated that he had thought about sending the lizard to Ukraine to defend it from the Russian onslaught. He thinks that some form of telekinetic clairvoyance was communicated to the lizard during just before it escaped, and must be the reason for it to be heading on a direct course towards Russia!
So a warning to all of Russia – watch out! There is a giant lizard on its way, stomping your cities and villages, screeching out that awesome metallic war cry, Skreeeonk!, and spewing atomic heat beams to burn your nuclear reactors and missile silos!
Wannabetta-san also admitted that he had been experimenting on moths, ants, crabs, three-headed reptiles, dogs, snakes, and various other creatures, even building a few from robot toy parts, to make a menagerie of other monsters for the new Godzilla to fight and/or team-up with against Russia.
Strange times need strange monsters to fight evil warlords – and Japan has delivered!
Bonsai!
