DALLAS, Texas - (Sports Satire) - The Sports Bet Gazette is reporting that one of the greatest players to ever play for the Great Britain National Rugby Team, has just been signed by the world-famous Dallas Cowboys.
Cowboys owner Jerry Jones has said that he is proud to sign Liverpool native, Cosmo Sunburst to an $18 million, two-year contract that will pay him $9 million per year.
Jones told Zorro La Bamba, with SBG that Sunburst, who stands 6-foot-9-inches tall and weighs a solid 295 pounds will be the team's starting offensive left tackle.
Upon hearing that Sunburst was signed by Jones, quarterback Dak Prescott exclaimed "Well hell yeah y'all! I am thrilled beyond belief, and I know that Sunburst will stop the opposing charging lineman from getting to my perfectly toned body."
Cosmo was asked by La Bamba what he is looking forward to seeing and visiting in America.
He replied, the ice-skating rink at Rockefeller Center, the statue of the Popeye cartoon character in Crystal City, Texas, Pike's Peak in the Colorado Rocky Mountains, and Kim Kardashian's gigantic ass.
SIDENOTE: Jones told Sunburst that he will also fly in his favorite crumpets on a weekly basis.
