LONDON - (Satire News) - One of the original judges on the musical hit show "American Idol," says that he has been giving a lot of thought as to who he would like to see replace Prime Minister Boris Johnson, who has resigned.
Cowell, who many have referred to as The Sultan of Sarcasm, told The Bee's Knee's News Agency that he really wants to see someone fill the PM's job who has got some big cojones (balls).
He smiled, as he took a sip of his Stella Artois beer, and revealed that he feels that comedian Ricky Gervais would be the perfect choice.
Cowell noted that Gervais has a special place in his heart because the two are so fucking alike.
Simon noted that both are as sarcastic as hell, both are arrogant as shit, both can be bitingly cruel, and bitterly mean.
Simple Simon, as Prince Charles calls him, then paused and said rhetorically, "'Ey, what da bloody 'ell mate? Shit I'd make a damn good bloomin' fucking prime minister meself I would...true dat!"