Donald "Dopey" Trump Reveals That His Sexy Puerto Rican Cougar Fiancée Kimberly Guilfoyle Taught Him a Lot of Sexual Positions

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 19 July 2022

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"I can do a 'Tit For Tat,' if Melania keeps messing with LeBron, I swear I'm gonna tap Kimmy." -DONALD

MANHATTAN, New York - (Satire News) - Donald Trump Jr., who is also known as "Dopey," recently told his younger brother Eric "Goofy" Trump that his Latina fiancée is one very mucho hot muchacha!

Kimberly Guilfoyle is 53, and Don Jr., is 44, so as Donnie says I love being with Kimmy because she reminds me of another erotically sensuous Puerto Rican cougar, Jennifer Lopez aka J.Lo, 52.

"Dopey" as he is called because of his penchant for taking you-know-what, (it rhymes with 'freight train,') recently told his estranged sister (Ivanka) that Guilfoyle has taught him at least nine new sexual positions that he had no idea even existed.

He remarked that his favorite new position is The Turkish Twist and Shimy Boom Boom, which Kim said she learned from her ex-husband, California Governor Gavin Newsom, who has said in the past that Kim has a tramp stamp with his initials "GN."

SIDENOTE: Kimberly said that several years ago, she paid to have her tramp stamp lasered off. But Don Jr. noted that Kimmy still has the "GN" on the small of her back.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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