Josh Hawley: “I Only Ran From the Capitol Riot Because My Daughters Wanted to Go to Cancun”

Funny story written by Jaki Treehorn

Saturday, 23 July 2022

image for Josh Hawley: “I Only Ran From the Capitol Riot Because My Daughters Wanted to Go to Cancun”
Fist Pumping Scared Rabbit Hawley

Washington - Missouri Senator and all-around douchebag Josh Hawley claimed that he ran like a scared rabbit from the January 6th Capitol rioters he had only a few hours earlier given a fist salute because he was “running late to catch a flight to Cancun.”

“I really wanted to stay and face those proud patriots and March along with them, but my wife and kids insisted I take them to Cancun, as it is quite cold in Washington D.C. and Missouri right now” said the Senator from his Mexico resort hotel.

Fellow Senate douchebag Ted Cruz took the same flight as Hawley. “Those were obviously Antifa disguised as MAGA patriots at the Capitol”, said Cruz.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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