WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - Josh Hawley has just been named The Biggest Pussy in Washington D.C.
Vice President Kamala Harris said that the junior limp-wristed senator from Missouri appears to have some of "Cheeto Face" Trump's wimpish DNA in his effeminate body.
During the Jan. 6 Trump Proud Boys and Oath Keepers terrorist assault on the United States Capitol, Josh "The Sissy Bitch" Hawley was captured on nine different video cameras racing for his life from Trump's low-life, anti-American invaders.
One of the video's clearly shows "Sissy Britches" Hawley pushing Nancy Pelosi and two other female senators out of the way, so that he could run and hide in a Capitol building broom closet like the spineless Trump lover that he is.
Hawley told Fox News GOP ass kisser Greg Gutfeld that the reason he was running so fucking fast was because he had a horrible case of the runs (diarrhea).
Well no one, not even Fox News Republican creepola pansy Tucker Carlson, who noted that Josh has always been one who can dish it out, but who can't take it, believed the little backboneless, asshole, cross dressing coward.
