BILLINGSGATE POST: Like Mr. Smith, when he went to Washington in 1939, Elmer Smuckmeister is seen as a naive lightweight and a country bumpkin by almost everyone with whom he comes into contact, including the Washington press corps.
But Smuckmeister is no bumpkin. He has seen it all. His hometown of Beaver Crossing, Nebraska, is a microcosm of America. There’s greed, avarice, promiscuity, and even a little bit of human nature.
Nothing surprises him anymore. Even when he caught his neighbor, Joe Cocolochek, mounting one of his sheep, he didn’t bat an eye.
Explaining: “Joe had been lonesome in the saddle since his horse died, and he was just seeking a little affection. Can’t blame the sumbitch. The sheep was a real looker.”
Elmer arrived in Washington with little fanfare. Wearing a red MAGA hat and a fresh pair of custom tailored Dickies Short Sleeve Farmer’s Coveralls - the same model worn by Slim Everdingle - their patented bi-swing back and elastic waist inserts allowed him the flexibility to easily dodge the Subpoenas issued by the January 6 Committee.
Elmer had little love for the RINO’s on the committee, especially the bordello tart from Wyoming. Calling her “a pawn of political correctness and a retro-Commie-pinko,” he called on the citizens of Wyoming to run her out of Washington this coming November.
Dr. Slim: “She can run, but she can’t hide.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. Put a saddle on her and ride her out of town.”
