That’s right, Disney has given into Big Oil to create a new superhero named Oil Man!
He will fight for the rights of oil producers to suck as much oil out of the ground, burn it up, and send smoke billowing into the ozone … for the good of all humanity!
When some evil hippie tree-huggers (when will their reign of terror end?!) try to destroy oil wells around the world, only Oil Man can save the day!
He will fight for governments to lower taxes for the oil rich ($900 a year for a billionaire … that’s fair) and ensure that special laws are passed that allow Big Oil to rule for a thousand years!
Even if the oil runs out, rich people hate becoming poor. If an oil baron is at risk of losing his vast wealth, Oil Man will rush in and take from the poor to give back to the glorious and heavenly rich.
“Rich people are better than you!” is one of the catch-phrases of Oil Man. “Bow before them! Bow before … Oil Man!”
He will be in comic books, on TV commercials, on every late-night show, he will host exclusive parties on the yachts of the Super Rich, attend ribbon-cuttings for offshore bank accounts, and shake hands with only the most evil of all human beings.
Special guest stars will making a cameo appearances in the upcoming Disney trilogy: Gates, Bezos, Musk, and the oil sheik Osama Bin Saudi, or whatever, plus a random scattering of mere millionaires, all who have paid big money to be in the movie.
When money makes art, you know it’s gonna be gooooood!
