BILLINGSGATE POST: With a number of famous professional golfers, including Phil Mickelson, Dustin Johnson, Brooks Koepka and Bryson DeChambeau, jumping from the PGA Tour to the LIV Tour, some bad blood is developing between the members of the two groups, mainly because the LIV Tour is underwritten by the Saudi Arabia Public Investment Fund,
Throwing gas on the fire, a newly released video showing forensic psychiatrist and taxidermist, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, seen carrying a lampshade out of the Saudi Embassy in Istanbul, was released as part of the probe into the disappearance of journalist, Jamal Khashoggi.
Although Saudi Arabia has denied involvement in Khashoggi’s disappearance, the fact that Hannibal Lecter was shown leaving the Embassy has provided new fodder to speculation that Khashoggi was killed and dismembered by a Saudi team working for Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman.
It has been previously speculated that “rogue killers” could be responsible. Although a PGA spokesperson stated that it was a possibility, they had retained Forsenic Taxidermist, Dr. Viscount Billingsgate, to examine the lampshade that allegedly was carried out of the Embassy by Lecter.
"If this lampshade contains DNA from Mr. Khashoggi, there will a price to be paid by those who join this tour. Hopefully, the proof will be in the pudding, and this lampshade will shine some light on the disappearance of Khashoggi and cast a shadow on those who have defected."
Dr. Billingsgate’s credentials are impeccable. He received his doctorate in Taxidermy from La Fontaine College, and is considered the last word in Forensic Taxidermy. His groundbreaking work in unveiling the “Jackalope hoax” is considered the “Magna Carta” of this profession. It is noteworthy that Billingsgate also received appropriate notoriety for successfully mounting a tin of anchovies after they had been canned in olive oil; certainly no small feat.
“Now that the lampshade is in the hands of Dr. Billingsgate, we are sure that the players who defected will feel badly about the millions of dollars they accepted from those responsible for the lampshade’s production.”
Dr. Slim: “I don’t know. In the Middle East, the camel always does it.”
Dirty: “Yo, Dr. Dude. May a dyspeptic dromedary befoul those who left the Tour.”
