There were 315 spoof news stories published in February 2020. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Cristiano Ronaldo Wants To Play For Liverpool Next Season
The January transfer window closed at midnight on Friday, and will remain shut for the rest of the season, but already there is talk about what might happen in the summer, and the name that is on everyone's lips is that of Cristiano Ronaldo, and a po...
Read full storyManchester United Captain Harry Maguire To Be Issued With Retrospective Red Card
Controversy was the name of the game at Stamford Bridge last night, as Chelsea were beaten 2-0 by Manchester United in a match totally controversialised by the VAR system. After Martial had given the visitors a first-half lead, Chelsea's Zouma had...
Read full storyManchester United In Talks With Eric Cantona
There were raised eyebrows all over the northwest this morning, as news began to filter through to the grey and grimy slums, cobbled streets, and endless ramshackle 2-up-2-down back-to-back terraced houses, that the world's favourite football team, M...
Read full storyLiverpool FC: FA Say Same Team Must Play At Chelsea
After the dust had settled on a memorable victory for the Liverpool under-23 side in their FA Cup 4th-round replay against Shrewsbury Town at Anfield last night, there was a shock in store for manager, Jürgen Klopp, this morning. The Reds team con...
Read full storyWest Ham Sack David Moyes a Second Time After Losing to Amateur Club Hackney Wednesday at London Stadium
London Stadium - Long-suffering supporters of West Ham United who demanded that rehired manager David Moyes be immediately sacked again after Saturday's loss to local amateur football club Hackney Wednesday, got their wish when the two-time manager w...
Read full storyLiverpool Title Bid Derailed As Premier League Considers Season Abandonment Due To Coronavirus
Black clouds were gathering over Anfield this morning, as news reached Merseyside that, due to the threat to public health posed by the Coronavirus, Premier League officials will meet on Monday afternoon with a view to abandoning the football season.
Read full storyCristiano Ronaldo Puts In Transfer Request
The transfer deadline may have been reached last Friday, and the window slammed shut, but one man who has got a request in early for the next round of moves is the Juventus player, Cristiano Ronaldo. Ronaldo, 34, has scored a phenomenal amount of...
Read full storyManchester United Sign Several Players Late On Transfer Deadline Day
Manchester United flexed their not inconsiderable financial muscles last night, just minutes before the deadline on the transfer market window, securing the signatures of a host of footballing superstars, none of whom I have ever heard of. The fir...
Read full storyManchester United: 10-Year-Old Fan Says His Dad Wrote Letter To Jürgen Klopp, Not Him
Daragh Curley, the 10-year-old Manchester United 'fan' who wrote a letter to Liverpool boss, Jürgen Klopp, asking him if he could fix it for the Anfield club to lose a few games so that they might not win the Premier League title, has revealed that i...
Read full storyPolice warn Priti Patel to stop smiling sexily at people
British Home Secretary Priti Patel received a warning from London’s top cop, about her sexy smile and charming personality. The 37-year-old Indian-origin politician, who is the darling of the right of the Tory party, with her tub-thumping policies on...
Read full storyManchester United In Call For Season To End Early Due To 'Coronavirus Worry'
Sensational news coming out of Old Trafford this morning, after it was revealed that Manchester United players have told the club they are anxious for their match against Chelsea at Stamford Bridge on 17 February to be called off due to worries over...
Read full storyRonaldo In Coronavirus Scare
There was widespread pandemonium in both Italy and Portugal this afternoon, after it was announced that footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo, had been involved in a scare in relation to the deadly Coronavirus currently sweeping the globe. Ronaldo, 35, ha...
Read full storyManchester United Captain Harry Maguire To Turn Out For Local Sunday League Team On Sunday Morning
Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, is in hot water with team coach, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, this morning, after he let it be known that he plans to turn out for a local Sunday League team at the weekend. Maguire, 26, incurred the Norwegian's...
Read full storyLiverpool: Jürgen Klopp Says "It's Too Early To Think About Titles"
Liverpool may be 25 points ahead of their closest rivals in the race to win their first top-tier title in 30 years, but their manager, Jürgen Klopp, is taking nothing for granted, and says it is far too early to be thinking of such things. Liverpo...
Read full storyManchester United And Liverpool To Play In Face Masks And Surgical Gowns
There has been a dramatic announcement from the Premier League this morning, that, in light of the current risk to public health, both Liverpool and Manchester United will undergo an unexpected 'kit change', and will play their remaining fixtures thi...
Read full storyIt’s beginning to look a lot like Wuhan
It's beginning to look a lot like Wuhan Everywhere you go; Take a look in the state pen They’re dying once again With ovens and crematoriums aglow. It's beginning to look a lot like Wuhan No food in any store But the prettiest sight to see is...
Read full storyTop Premier League Clubs To Be Forced To Buy Quota Of 'Players That Aren't Very Good' Next Season
Manchester United, and last season's Premier League champions, Manchester City, head a list of top clubs who, in a bid to bring parity to the game, will be forced to buy new players from a pool of hoofers and has-beens from the lower leagues. Live...
Read full storyManchester United: Ole Gunnar Solskjaer Concedes His Team Cannot Win PL Title
Manchester United manager, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer, has spoken to reporters about the disappointment he experienced this morning, when he went downstairs to make his breakfast, picked up a newspaper to read the football pages, and realised that his team...
Read full storyManchester United: Captain Harry Maguire Says Club Bruges Spelling Is Ridiculous
Manchester United go into their Europa League last-32 second-leg game against Club Bruges at Old Trafford tonight, with a slight advantage, after their 1-1 draw in Belgium last week gave them an important away goal, but the big news is that the Red D...
Read full storyRecent Studies Show That Men Who Kiss Women With Red Lipstick Become More Virile
POMONA, California - Researchers at The Pomona Institute For Cosmetic Studies have discovered an interesting phenomenon that may revolutionize the art of kissing. Dr. Amerigo W. Baconweiser, an expert in cosmetic medicine, stated that, after condu...
Read full storyManchester United: 'King' Eric Cantona To Take Over At Old Trafford
As reported in these pages earlier in the week, Manchester United have, this morning, agreed terms with their former star player, Eric Cantona, to take over the management of the club from Ole Gunnar Solskjaer with immediate effect. Cantona, 53, w...
Read full storyPancake Day Latest: Manchester United Captain Harry Maguire Is Going Round To His Mum's House Later
Harry Maguire, the Manchester United and England central defender who cost United £80million when he joined them last summer, has confirmed he will be going round to his mum's house on Tuesday, for a special Pancake Day treat. According to Maguire...
Read full storyLiverpool FC: Mathematicians To Calculate When Reds Can Be Crowned Champions
It's only the first week in February, but already there have been calls for the Premier League title to be handed to Liverpool, after the Reds beat Southampton 4-0 at Anfield yesterday, to move 22 points clear of their nearest rivals. Unsure of th...
Read full storyManchester United Captain Harry Maguire Says He Hates TheSpoof.com
As the number of negative 'online' incidents involving football players continues to rise, Manchester United captain, Harry Maguire, has given his backing to those who feel they no longer wish to use social media, and have deleted their accounts, say...
Read full storyElon Musk Creates Time Machine, Sends Tesla Cybertruck Into The Past
When Elon Musk announced his plans to create a time machine back in April of 2016, many in the scientific community were skeptical of the entrepreneur’s ability to take on such a formidable task. Despite the reservations, many in attendance at the pr...
Read full storyMelania Trump Wears A Pair of Tight-Fitting Daisy Duke Short Shorts To Son Barron’s Soccer Match
WASHINGTON, D.C. – First Lady, Melania Trump, who is 49, caused quite a stir at son Barron’s recent soccer match. The first soccer mom showed up at The Pele Commemorative Soccer Complex wearing a tiny sports bra and a pair of tight-fitting Daisy Duke...
Read full storyBomb Bomb China: Trump To Use Neutron Bomb To Get Rid Of Coronavirus
BILLINGSGATE POST: In a call to Chinese President, Xi Jinping, President Trump said they discussed carpet bombing China with neutron bombs to knock out the Coronavirus, which originated in China, killing untold thousands while pummeling world financ...
Read full storyMeghan Markle Offered $2 Million To Pose In Playboy Magazine
CHICAGO – The iNews Agency is reporting that Meghan Markle has received an offer to pose in the April edition of Playboy. The 38-year-old wife of Prince Harry was quite flattered by the offer and said that she would have to have the 100% approval...
Read full storyNashville Man Wonders if He Could Be in Denial about Being Transgender
While never consciously having desired to be anything other than the male stud that he is, Luke Hendrix of Nashville, Tennessee, wondered if he could possibly be in denial about being transgemder. "I've been in denial about so many things," said H…
Read full storyMeghan Markle To Record A Song With Keith Urban and Carrie Underwood
MEMPHIS, Tennessee – Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were in Memphis visiting the Yippee-Ki-Yay Country Music Museum located on Red Neck Drive. They got to view country music artifacts and relics, such as an AK-47 semi-automatic rifle that was onc...
Read full storyStranger who mistakes Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s advisor Dominic Cummings for homeless man and gives him money to buy coffee is escorted off the premises
Prime Minister Johnson’s advisor Dominic Cummings doesn’t dress like other advisors. He long ago swapped a tie and suit for an anorak and beanie hat. He may be the man that all Tory MPs are afraid of, but few members of the public recognise him among...
Read full storyNashville Man Unsuccessfully Tries to Turn on a Dime
One day during his lunch break, Justin Cooley noticed a thin silver coin lying on a sidewalk in downtown Nashville - and was at an utter loss as to how to respond. "I know you're supposed to turn on a dime," he said. "But how the heck do you do i...
Read full storyMeghan Markle To Launch Her Own Line of String Bikini Panties
HOLLYWOOD – The former Duchess of Sussex has decided to launch her own panties line, and she is calling it The Princess Meghan String Bikini Panties Collection. Her husband Prince Harry encouraged her by telling her that she has the sexiest panti...
Read full storyJennifer Lopez and Shakira Turn Down Trump’s Offer To Visit The White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Jennifer Lopez and Shakira, two hot erotically sexy Latinas performed what many are saying was the best Super Bowl halftime show in the history of the Super Bowl. JLo and Shakira structed up and down the stage dressed in outfits...
Read full storyUS to shutdown internet to stop spread of new Online Coronavirus
US officials have confirmed the internet will be shut down. Director of US internet relations, James Chadwick, has said, "All internet comes from China, and to help keep a virtual virus from spreading, a complete shutdown of the internet will occ...
Read full storyCoronavirus Could Mutate Into Black Death
Scientists in China working on discovering an antidote for the Coronavirus have said that it is conceivable that it could yet mutate into the Bubonic Plague, or Black Death, which ravaged the world's population in the 14th century. The Black Deat...
Read full storyCher Confesses That She Dated Donald Trump Decades Ago
HOLLYWOOD – Famed singer, Cher, recently spoke with Kitty Sequoia with the iNews Agency, and she revealed an amazing secret that she had been keeping for many, many years. The female half of the famous singing duo Sonny & Cher said that when s...
Read full storyHanna Barbera announces that Meghan Markle will join Scooby Doo – she’ll be the whiny self-righteous one who’s too posh to hide in the dumpster
Amazing news for all fans of cartoons everywhere. Hanna Barbera, the makers of the Scooby Doo franchise, has revealed their plans to bring one-time member of the British Royal Family Meghan Markle into the Scooby Gang, where she’ll go on adventures w...
Read full storyHarvey Weinstein Requests To Be Put In The Same Prison Cell As Bill Cosby
NEW YORK CITY – Now that disgraced movie mogul, Harvey Weinstein, has been found guilty of sexual assault, he will be sentenced to prison. Weinstein spoke with a reporter for the New York Sun Observer, and said that he wants the judge to send him...
Read full storySatellite Images Confirm Sun Is A Big, Round, Blazing Ball Of Searing-hot Plasma
Satellite images from the Austin Allegro British space programme have confirmed what experts have always believed about the Sun: that it is a big, ever-so-hot, blazing ball of orange plasma that is raging away to its core, and lighting up the entire...
Read full storyCandy Hearts Company Says That Democrats Account For 91% Of Their Sales
DOVER, Delaware - The Have A Heart Candy Hearts Company has just stated that the sales of their Valentine's Day candy hearts have gone through the roof. A spokesperson for the candy company, Lucretia Ingersoll, 63, said that she has worked for the...
Read full storyPhillip Schofield tells world how he faked his orgasms with his wife for 27 years and had to fantasize about Noel Edmonds to get an erection
In a lovely, heart-warming moment for gay pride and diversity, children’s entertainer Phillip Schofield, who recently told the world that he is gay, and had been deceiving his wife about his sexuality for 27 years, admitted that, in order, to have se...
Read full storyCoronavirus Is God's Way Of Dealing With Capitalism
Financial analysts say that the Coronavirus is God's way of dealing with the capitalist system of economics, and that the entire mechanism is in danger of crumbling across the globe. The virus, Covid-19, which originated in China, has killed nearl...
Read full story'A Question Of Sport' Sue Barker Faces Axe
A major controversy is brewing at the BBC this evening, after it was announced that the 'A Question of Sport' host, former tennis star, Sue Barker, is to be replaced on the show by a cardboard cut-out of herself. Barker, 63, was a surprise choice...
Read full storyACME Anvil Ltd. Purchases Manchester United In Hostile Takeover
BILLINGSGATE POST: ACME Anvil Ltd. announced the purchase of Manchester United from Malcom Glazer today in a hostile takeover that left Man U followers hopeful for better days. ACME, an offshore conglomerate located on Grand Cayman Island, also owns...
Read full storyMan Uses 'Bum Gun' To Clean His Anus
A man who used an Asian-style toilet has revealed how, after completing his business, he didn't use toilet tissue to clean his bottom, but, instead, utilised the hand-held water jet - known as a Bum Gun - to complete the task. In Western countries...
Read full story"Mama said just add limes," Bobby Boucher says of Coronavirus
Former South Central Louisiana State University Mud Dog linebacker, Bobby Boucher Jr., has gone public with a statement from his mama. According to his Mama, avoiding the Coronavirus is as simple as citrus. He stated, "Mama says that the Coronavi...
Read full storySingapore Airlines Halts All Flights Due To Coronavirus Outbreak
Singapore Airlines CEO Goh Choon Phong has declared that Singapore Airlines will halt flights from inside and outside the Republic of Singapore until approximately April 10 (subject to change). Phong states: “Coronavirus is one of the worst epidem...
Read full storyA List of The 10 Worst Pirates of All-Time*
1. Timmy The Timid – Timmy stood 6 feet 4 inches, and only weighed 107 pounds. He was once beaten up by a skinny mermaid. He once dated Blackbeard's sister Esmeralda for two weeks. 2. Lorenzo The Lost – He retired at the age of 81, having never l...
Read full storyPhillip Schofield: My Wife Turned Me Gay
Phillip Schofield, the 'This Morning' TV presenter who 'came out' as homosexual last week, is said to have claimed that Stephanie Lowe, his partner of 27 years, turned him gay. Schofield, 57, said that he had known about his gayness for at least t...
Read full storyMan Discovers Time Travel and Finds It Isn't What He Expected
A man has unexpectedly and unwittingly discovered how to travel through time. Joachim Arschloch, who lives with his ageing mother in the small Austrian town of Schweinwank on the River Danube, has recounted how he made his discovery to The Spoof's...
Read full storyTheSpoof.com Contaminated By Coronavirus
There was the worst news possible for health officials fearing a mutation of the Coronavirus today, as it emerged that the virus had managed to infect an online satirical news website, sending contributors into a panic. TheSpoof.com reported it wa...
Read full storyMAGA Pigeons Flock To Vegas To See Trump
BILLINGSGATE POST: Even the most crazed Trump supporters couldn’t believe that when Air Force One landed yesterday in Las Vegas for a giant Trump rally, that they would witness a miracle. Speaking of miracles, the president opened the rally by in...
Read full storyJürgen Klinsmann To Open Diving School
The former Hertha Berlin coach, Jürgen Klinsmann, who walked out on the Bundesliga club last week after just 77 days in charge, citing 'differences' with management, is to open a diving school. No, not a 'driving school', a 'diving school'. To tea...
Read full storyMeghan Markle's Ex-Husband Speaks Out
LOS ANGELES – The man who was married to Meghan Markle for two years, recently spoke with Maximus Bedstraw, a reporter with The Grandiose News Organization. Trevor Engleson, who was Markle's first husband, said that it was interesting that she end...
Read full storyMan Is Fed Up Of Waiting
A waiter at a plush restaurant in New York has said that, after serving customers for nearly 16 years, he is absolutely sick to death of waiting, and is giving up the role, to search for alternative employment. Andrew Skivvy, 34, has taken diners'...
Read full storyJennifer Lopez and Shakira Party With The Super Bowl Champs, The Kansas City Chiefs.
MIAMI – JLo and Shakira shook up the Super Bowl stage at halftime, and reports are that their sensuously sexy gyrations registered a reading of 1.7 on the Richter Scale. Both hot Latinas rocked the crowd as well as the worldwide audience, wearing...
Read full storyPrince Harry and Meghan Markle Are Both Thrilled That Queen Elizabeth Did Not Have Them Deported To Siberia
BAYOU CANE, Louisiana – Prince Harry and his wife, the lusciously-lovely Meghan Markle, were visiting the world famous Monsieur Qui Qui Swamp down in the heart of the swamp bayous, Bayou Cane this week. She told Maximus Bedstraw, of The Grandiose...
Read full storyPresident Trump Says Coronavirus Should Have Been 'Nipped In The Bud' By Nuking China
President Donald Trump has spoken out about the spread of the deadly Coronavirus, and says that he, personally, could have ended the worldwide threat of a pandemic, if only he'd have been allowed to initiate an all-out nuclear strike on China, instea...
Read full storyManchester City Boss Pep Guardiola Tipped For Spain Job
In the aftermath of the two-year European club competition ban handed to Manchester City, this week, for breaching Financial Fair Play (FFP) regulations, it's been rumoured that coach, Pep Guardiola, has been linked with a job back in his native Spai...
Read full storyPhillip Schofield Often Gets A Hard-on When Interviewing Male Guests - Claim
It's been claimed that Phillip Schofield, the 'This Morning' TV presenter who, last week, came out of the closet to reveal his homosexuality, often becomes sexually aroused when he has to interview a male guest. Or so I heard. The news comes fr...
Read full storyNashville Woman Proves that Prayer Works
"I don't tell other people what to do, but for me, prayer works," said Wanda Messer of Nashville, Tennessee. "God gets results." Messer explained that her Heavenly Father has supported her through her most turbulent of times, including the past ni...
Read full storyValentine's Day Cancelled Due To You-Know-What
Chocolate manufacturers, as well as greeting card and flower sellers all over the world are in uproar this morning, after an international ban on celebrating Valentine's Day came into force, due to the possible spread of infection of the deadly You-k...
Read full storyCthulhu wins prominent government role after Boris Johnson's cabinet reshuffle
The Dark Lord Cthulhu, devourer of souls and destroyer of worlds, has been given a seat in Boris Johnson's cabinet, as Minister without Portfolio, replacing Michael Gove. The Great Old One has no previous experience of government, but has a cult f...
Read full storyMeghan Markle To Join The Cast of "The View"
NEW YORK CITY – The New York Sun-Observer has just broken the story that Meghan Markle, the former Duchess of Sussex, has agreed to join Whoopi Goldberg and the rest of the women of the top-rated daytime show, "The View." A spokesperson for the sh...
Read full storyMutiny In Progress On Coronavirus Cruise Ship
The cruise ship, SS Diamond Princess, which has been docked at Yokohama in Japan, whilst hundreds of its passengers are being tested for the Coronavirus, has been over-run by a contingent of men with makeshift weapons, who have seized control of the...
Read full storyGreta Thornberg releases new book “My Campfire” and sets up Greta Youth of angry teenagers
Angry Swedish climate activist Greta Thornberg has released her first book, warning of the dangers of traditional cooking methods, such as wood-burning stoves (used in some countries, like India), or gas and electric ovens, which leave a significant...
Read full storyMan rescued from IKEA store after five years
Brian Kent and his fiancée visited the Coventry branch of the Swedish Ikea store in 2015, hoping to buy products for their new house. They had no idea of just how large the store was until they got there. Like all customers, they were issued with ruc...
Read full storyMeghan Markle Reveals The Location of Her Brand New Intimate Body Tattoo
LOS ANGELES – The former Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle was recently asked at a Los Angeles Lakers game about the tattoo rumor. Cicero Cuevas, a reporter with Sports Balls Illustrated spoke with the former duchess and asked her how her and hubby...
Read full storyCoronavirus Resistant To All Attempts To Change Its Name
The deadly Coronavirus, which was officially named by the World Health Organization (WHO) as Covid-19 earlier this week, is strongly resisting all attempts to rename it, and has been appearing in many places still under its original moniker. The v...
Read full storyEllen DeGeneres’ Beautiful Wife Portia de Rossi Talks About The Divorce Rumors
HOLLYWOOD – It has been reported by The Hollywood Star-Herald Newspaper that America’s daytime show sweetheart, Ellen DeGeneres, is sad over the fact that her wife of 11 years, Portia (de Rossi) wants a divorce. Mrs. Ellen DeGeneres, (Portia) 47,...
Read full storyPutin to arrive in New York; will take over US
Thanks to the alert reporting of MSNBC, we now know the Russian plan is not simply to interfere with US elections. It wants to completely take over the country—next week. Mr. Putin has said he will probably reside in Trump Tower in New York, an...
Read full storyStormzy Ruing Choice Of Stage Name After Particularly Inclement Weather Batters UK
British award-winning freestyle rapper, Stormzy, is at a crossroads in his career this morning, after the second major extreme weather incident in two weeks battered the UK into submission under a torrent of rain, high winds and floods, leaving the s...
Read full storyTom Brady Now Says He Wants To Quit Football And Become A Standup Comedian
BOSTON – Tom Brady, one of the NFL’s all-time great quarterbacks, has just announced that he plans on retiring. He told Sports Balls Illustrated’s Pistachio Custer that the time has come for him to hang up his football crotch cup, or pecker plate...
Read full storyPresident Trump Shows His BFF Sean Hannity Personal Intimate Photos of Melania and the First Lady Explodes!
NEW YORK CITY – President #45 was in the “Big Apple” for an appearance on the Sean Hannity Show. Potus had lunch with the Fox News host at a local McDonalds. Sean had a Filet-O-Fish Sandwich, and the man that Elizabeth “Sacajawea” Warren calls “C...
Read full storyMelania Trump Explains Why She May Be Voting For Bernie Sanders in The November Presidential Election
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Melania Trump has shocked the GOP world by saying that she will most probably vote for Bernie Sanders over her husband. The sensuously sexy first lady was interviewed by Kitty Segovia with the iNews Agency. When asked why she...
Read full storySix-Year-Old Reflects on His Time Inside
Thanks to weeks of unremitting thunderstorms, six-year-old Nashville resident, Chucky Dillon, was sentenced to consecutive time inside, without even time off for good behavior. "You really start missing the sunshine," said Chucky. "I would have gi...
Read full storyPrince Harry and Meghan Markle Have Dinner With Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston
BEL AIR, California – The Los Angeles Post-Gazette reports that Prince Harry and his wife, Meghan Markle, are truly enjoying getting to rub elbows with the Hollywood elite. The happy couple recently had dinner with Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston a...
Read full story"Is That Chinese Film “Parasite” About Coronavirus?" Asks Taxi Driver
Please don’t. I was in a bad mood, and didn’t feel like chatting. “No clue, I haven’t seen it yet.” “Well, I did, a few days ago," he said while changing lanes. “Don’t tell anyone, but I downloaded this movie from a torrent. Disappointing qual...
Read full storyEnglish Towns And Cities With Foreign Names To Make Changes
The government has announced plans to look at changing all UK placenames that have a 'foreign sound', to something a little bit more English. The move comes just two weeks after Brexit, and is intended to appease people who think 'foreigners' stil...
Read full storyKathy Griffin Is Alleging That She Received Some Hush Money From President Trump
LOS ANGELES – Kathy Griffin recently stated that she can no longer keep quiet about her and President Trump. The 59-year-old comedian said that, some years ago, before "President Bone Spurs" married Melania, she had a tryst with the man who now l...
Read full storyChinese Coronavirus Hospital Was Made From Sticky Rice
It's been alleged by undercover sources in China, that the hospital in Wuhan that was built from start to finish in 10 days, to house those suffering from the deadly Coronavirus, is made from sticky rice and papier mâché. The Huoshenshan Hospital...
Read full storyStormy Daniels Finally Writes Her Tell-All Book About Her Affair With Donald “The Baby Pee-Pee” Trump
LOS ANGELES – There’s a new book coming out soon that Donald Trump (aka “The Divider-in-Chief”) is not going to like. In fact, he will probably wet his pants when he reads it. Ichabod Fernandez, with The Vox Populi News Agency, said that he recen...
Read full storyMelania Trump Reveals Why She Wants To Move Back To New York City
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Reports coming out of the White House are that first lady Melania Trump is not a very happy camper. An unnamed White House insider said that Melania has recently been looking at photographs of Trump Tower and she suddenly break...
Read full storyTaylor Swift Says That Tennessee Senator Marsha Blackburn Is Downright Evil
NASHVILLE - Taylor Swift is not the least bit shy when it comes to pointing out that Tennessee Senator Marsha “The Plump Trump Ass-Kisser” Blackburn has gone and stepped in a pile of Tennessee thoroughbred horse manure (or shit, as they call it in Ar...
Read full storyManchester United Hires Dog The Bounty Hunter To Find Goal
BILLINGSGATE POST: Manchester United’s signing of John Bolton and Bruno Fernandes fell flat in their debut at Old Trafford today. United’s £47 million signing of Bruno and countless millions paid to Bolton to manage the Red Devils resulted in a 0-0...
Read full storyClownvirus pandemic: Political correctness spreads, infected SJWs attack, zombie apocalypse in USA
Washington DC (TSW) - Taking cue from the virtue-signalling 2020 Oscar fun-fest, the New York Times has opined that clownvirus (formerly coronavirus) be renamed as Trumpvirus. On clinical presentation, the columnist, Gail Collins, was hot under the c...
Read full storyPumpkin Chips Were Even Tastier Than Onion Chips!
A man who, only last week, revealed that some onion chips he purchased and ate during a roadside stop on the way home from a market were "delicious", has now said that a packet of pumpkin chips he bought a few days later were even more tasty than the...
Read full storyPower Blackout Ruined Man's Breakfast Routine
A power blackout at a most inconvenient time this morning, put paid to one man's regular breakfast arrangement, and forced him to make urgent changes to his routine. Electricity to properties in the Tapon area of Battambang was cut at around 6:00a...
Read full storyForbes reveals the world's 10 richest people if the slave trade becomes legal again
Usually, Forbes publishes the Top 10 lists of people that have more than you will ever dream of having, but this time they decided to make a list of the people that own you. 1) Jeff Bezos Yes...when you created your Amazon account, you didn’t rea...
Read full storyThe Queen And Prince Philip To Divorce
There was a shock announcement from Buckingham Palace tonight, when it was revealed that Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, and her husband, the Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Philip, are to divorce after 72 years of marriage. The Queen, 93, and Prince P...
Read full storyIvanka Trump Talks About The Photos of Her Dressed In a Very Skimpy Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Outfit
CALEXICO, California – The president’s first and most conceited daughter, Ivanka, was campaigning for her daddy out in Calexico, California. She was asked about the fact that her father lies more times per day than the entire populations of France...
Read full storyAttorney General Bill Barr Finally Grows A Pair and And Socks It To Trump
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The U.S. Attorney General, Bill Barr, seems to finally be changing his tune. The nation’s top Trump ass-kisser told a reporter with The Washington Globe-Express that he had to put his GOP foot down, and tell Trump to stop his inces...
Read full storyPrince Harry and Meghan Markle Watched The State of The Union Address: We’re Now Both Democrats Said The Prince
WEST HOLLYWOOD – Mr. and Mrs. Prince Harry watched the president’s State of the Union address at The Tipsy Tadpole Lounge in West Holly, as the locals call it. The prince said that Trump appeared to be slurring many of his words, including Schumer...
Read full storyThe Former Queen of Country Music Loretta Lynn Slams Today’s Country Music
HURRICANE MILLS, Tennessee – Ichabod Fernandez with The Vox Populi News Agency sat down with the legendary 87-year-old Loretta Lynn at her Tennessee Southern-style Mansion Casa Grits. Lynn was barefoot, and was wearing a torn Calamity Jane blouse...
Read full storyPrince Harry And Duchess Meghan Markle Meet King Tom (Brady)
SAN FRANCISCO – Prince Harry and his sexy wife, Meghan, were visiting “Fog City”, and taking in the sites such as The Golden Gate Bridge, Alcatraz Prison, and the trailer where members of the 60s rock band, The Jefferson Airplane, wrote such hit song...
Read full storyPresident Trump Shows Up At The Daytona 500 And He Quickly Jinxes The Race
DAYTONA, Florida – President Trump and First Lady Melania showed up at the Daytona 500, uninvited, and damn, if old “Cheeto Face” didn’t go and jinx the race! According to The Miami Globe-Gazette, President Trump told one of Ricky Stenhouse Jr's m...
Read full storyLondon Mayor Sadiq Khan demands that London should be part of the EU
Barmy Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, told reporters at a news conference that Londoners should be allowed to “keep their EU citizenship” after Brexit. Khan, who once famously allowed a great big blimp of US President Donald Trump to be floated over...
Read full storyThe President Trump & Attorney General Barr Feud Is Getting Nastier By The Day
WASHINGTON, D.C. – RumorLand News is reporting that Donald Trump has turned into a rabid, orange-colored pit bull, and is writing nasty tweets about William Barr. The man who Ariana Grande calls “El Orange Estupido”, said that Barr’s recent 65-pou...
Read full storyShakira Says That The Rolling Stones Will Be Her Opening Act On Her Upcoming “Hips, Lips, & Nips Concert Tour”
DETROIT – The singer/dancer known as “The Princess of Pulsations” sat down with Icahbod Fernandez of The Vox Populi News Agency Miss Swivel Hips was asked what she liked the best about the Super Bowl. She giggled and said that she enjoyed getting...
Read full storyDonald Trump Says That Melania Has Not Had Breast Implants
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Trump recently met with Kitty Sequoia, a reporter with the iNews Agency at a local McDonalds. Trump stated that he wanted to clear up a story that had appeared in the latest issue of Consolidated News Magazine. POTUS t...
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