LOS ANGELES – There’s a new book coming out soon that Donald Trump (aka “The Divider-in-Chief”) is not going to like. In fact, he will probably wet his pants when he reads it.
Ichabod Fernandez, with The Vox Populi News Agency, said that he recently spoke with the book’s author, Stormy Daniels, at a local In-N-Out Burger Restaurant in Rancho Cucamonga.
Fernandez asked Stormy what the title of her book is. Daniels giggled, brushed her long blonde hair, adjusted the crotch of her Daisy Duke short shorts, and said the book’s title is “My Sordid Affair With The Little-fingered, Little-peckered, Little Lying Donnie Trump,”
Daniels said that she will be revealing some titillating facts in the book that only she and “The Tweet Creep" know. “What for instance?" Fernandez asked. “Well, for one thing,” Stormy remarked, 'Old Bone Spur' has the initials I.T. (Ivana Trump) tattooed on his tiny left gonad, and the initials M.M. (Marla Maples) tattooed on his tiny right gonad."
The VPNA reporter started laughing so hard he dropped his microphone, a butter knife, and his sardine and jello sandwich. He then asked, “So, do tell Stormy, where do you think 'Old Toddler Fingers' will be putting the initials M.T. (Melania Trump)?"
Daniels rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Ichabod, the obvious place would be on his presidential pecker, but believe me, there isn’t enough room on that pitiful acorn for an asterisk, much less two initials.”
(IN CLOSING – Stormy said that she will be including 73 intimate photos that she took of Trump, including 11 of him dressed as a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader.)