London Mayor Sadiq Khan demands that London should be part of the EU

Funny story written by Cleopatra Chaos

Tuesday, 18 February 2020

image for London Mayor Sadiq Khan demands that London should be part of the EU
Sadiq Khan's new flag of London

Barmy Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, told reporters at a news conference that Londoners should be allowed to “keep their EU citizenship” after Brexit.

Khan, who once famously allowed a great big blimp of US President Donald Trump to be floated over the capital when the US leader was visiting, but has not been able to reduce the spate of knife and gun attacks which have made London more dangerous than New York, said that Londoners didn’t vote for Brexit, and shouldn’t be bound by it.

He said “Like so many Londoners, I am heartbroken that we are no longer a member of the European Union, but that doesn’t mean our country’s future can’t be closely linked with the rest of Europe.”

Vigils are being held across London by Remainers, and there has been a massive increase in prescriptions of Valium, as Londoners are panicking about the prospect of leaving the EU. Long queues form every day outside the capital’s churches, as people demand to see priests for comfort about the uncertainty that the decision to leave the EU will have on their lives.

Meanwhile, people all over London who didn’t vote for Khan to be Mayor of the city, are demanding that they be treated differently from other Londoners, and have their own mayor.

Khan responded by saying, “We live in a democracy, where the votes of the majority prevail. Except on Brexit.”

It is reported that Boris Johnson’s government is considering giving Sadiq Khan dual citizenship of the UK and the EU. An inside source revealed that this would allow the government to deport Khan without him being made stateless.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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