NEW YORK CITY – The New York Sun-Observer has just broken the story that Meghan Markle, the former Duchess of Sussex, has agreed to join Whoopi Goldberg and the rest of the women of the top-rated daytime show, "The View."
A spokesperson for the show informed the Sun-Observer that Ms. Markle has agreed to a very lucrative contract with lots of fringe benefits. For one, the network will be paying for a luxurious suite in The Hotel Elegante, which makes the president’s Trump Tower look like a nasty, smelly landfill.
The stunningly gorgeous, Mrs. Prince Harry, will also be given 10,000 shares of McDonalds stock and second-row season tickets to the New York Jets home games.
When Joy Behar heard the news, she replied, “I am so thrilled, I can hardly wait to ask Meghan about the rumor that Queen E salts her bacon. Plus, I want to know if Prince Charles’ ears are really as huge as they look on TV.
Co-host Sunny Hostin, added, “Well, I want to know why Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, (aka Mrs. Prince Charles) has so much trouble pronouncing her R’s, her B’s, and the word blimey.”
Meanwhile the self-proclaimed GOPrincess Megan McCain is hoping that Markle will give her the queen’s personal cell phone number.
[IN CLOSING – Senator Lindsey ‘Dixie Belle’ Graham wants Nancy Pelosi and all of the other Democrats to please stop calling him that sissy nickname. Pelosi reportedly replied, “Don’t hold your breath, ‘Sissy Boy.’”]